Posted on by hildaweisburg

Making Decisions – Emotions vs. Logic

How do you make your decisions? Do you make them logically or trust your gut and go with your emotions? Most would say they decide logically. But more than 80% of the time, this is not the case.

While we may be logical when doing grocery shopping and choosing between one brand or another (cookie aisle not withstanding), it is rarely true when making any significant decisions. What we typically do is make our decision emotionally and then substantiate it logically. Understanding the power of emotions, and how they are impacting you and those around you, will improve your communication and help you achieve your goals.

In his article “The Power of Emotions,” Kell Delaney explains, “Humans are fundamentally emotional beings, and our emotions often drive our narratives and decision-making processes.” Because of this, we identify our feelings as being accurate. The problems occur when interacting with administrators, teachers, parents, and students who have different emotional responses to the same situation. The result is miscommunication along with worsening the situation.

How can you arrive at something logical when emotions are in control?

Delaney says we need to advocate for our core values and create stories and visions that others can engage with and help shape. He adds that bringing in your vision and actively listening to others’ perspectives develops a collaborative narrative for mutual understanding and action. That’s a big promise.  How do we achieve it? My recommendation is to consider your audience – and bring it back to the students.

With Administrators – Whether it’s a budget request, a plan for a new library service, or anything that requires administrative approval, I lead with the students. How will this affect them positively? Do I have any student work to share that connects to my request? By giving them an emotional reason for what I want, I am far more likely to get a positive response.

With Teachers – While some teachers like working with you, others are resistant. Find a time to talk with them, complimenting them on an aspect of their teaching you’ve experienced, particularly their connection with students. Add that you would like to contribute to their success and offer, if you can, to handle any additional work that is involved. Listen carefully to their response and continue the conversation accordingly.

With Parents – While it has become a far larger issue recently, dealing with parental objections to what books their child has access to has always been part of being a school librarian. When a parent comes to you directly, acknowledge them for being an aware and involved parent. Let them know you will see to it that their child no longer has access to those types of books. If they want to have the books removed, share the values of school librarians according to AASL standards.  When the charge comes at a Board of Education meeting, draw on parent advocates you have been building.

With Students – From “This is stupid!” to “Why do we have to learn this?” there are always students who resist doing what is required. Ask them what they would rather learn. That will pause the narrative. Many will be surprised by the question. Recognize their desire to learn (hopefully) along with their concerns with this lesson, then ask them to participate and see if the lesson provided an answer to their question or an interesting experience.

We are all under stress. Be ready for what is apt to be a contentious school year by readying yourself with how to deal with this paradox between logic and emotion. Knowing how to harness emotions, and not avoid them, to reach a reasonable way of dealing with an issue is key to creating a better work environment.  You will be a more effective leader and school librarian as a result.

Posted on by hildaweisburg

Create the Culture to Make Your Library Thrive

How would you describe the culture of your library? It’s not a question we usually think about. Normally, we focus on purpose, Vision, and Mission, but this is a different way to look at what you are creating and how it is being received.

The Merriam-Webster online dictionary defines corporate culture as “the set of shared attitudes, values, goals, and practices that characterizes an institution or organization.” Using this definition as a guide, you might say:

  •  The attitude of the library is that everyone is welcome here.
  • The values probably include intellectual freedom and a love of literacy and learning.
  • Your goal likely is to have students, teachers, and administrators view the library as a valuable part of their world.
  • Your practices seek to eliminate barriers to accessing the library.

If your answers closely matched the ones given above, are you certain this is an accurate analysis of your library culture? Manar Morales the author of THE FLEXIBILITY PARADIGM: Humanizing the Workplace for Productivity, Profitability, and Possibility (Georgetown University Press, 2025) collaborates with organizations to develop inclusive, flexible work cultures that cultivate diversity in leadership, foster a more humanized work experience and drive workplace well-being. In the business would, not being clear on the culture of your organization or having it misaligned leads to loss of engagement and productivity as well as higher turnover. How can we use this awareness to support our work?  

In her article “Work is Not a Place, Culture is Not a Location,” she recommends a process which can improve your culture, resulting in a flourishing, successful library. Morales starts by having you identify the following “4 ‘W’s that define culture:”

Who do you serve? – Your key stakeholders are your students and teachers. They are always primary, although there are others, including administrators, parents, and the outside community.

What do you stand for?- Your Mission Statement should drive your daily actions. What values do you hold and how can this be seen by others?

Why do you do what you do? – Beyond your library’s Mission Statement, this is your personal mission. Why are you a school librarian? What brings you back through the stress and challenges?

Where are you headed? – This is your Vision Statement. It is your inspiration and aspiration. It’s not fully realized, and may never be, but you should come closer and closer through your strategic planning.

By your answers to the 4 ‘W’s, you recognize that the library is just a room, a place, unless you can connect others to it. Relationship building is key to making the library thrive. How do you share those 4 ‘W’s with your key stakeholders in a way that connects them to the library and its value to them?

Let’s go back to the definition of culture.

What do you do daily to demonstrate the attitude that everyone is welcome in the library? On the simplest level, it starts with a welcoming smile. It also is shown by your connecting with classroom teachers and specials. Reach out to art, music, and physical education teachers. You will be amazed at what creative results you can produce together.

How are you sharing your values? Posters and displays send powerful messages. Visual images reinforce words. Are your Mission and Vision Statements posted where everyone entering the library can see them? And do your words (what’s posted) match your actions? If people feel a disconnect between what you say and what you do, they won’t feel connected to the library.

What barriers have you taken down? – Are your computers handicap-accessible? Have you eliminated fines? Does your collection include materials in languages spoken by your students? Have you taken surveys to find barriers you might not have identified?

One last step. How have you brought the library’s culture into the wider community? Have you created a way to keep parents informed about the library and students’ successes? Do they know about the accessibility? Are you and the public librarian working together on projects aimed at reaching students while informing the community? What contacts have you made with local businesses? Building connections and allies deepens and strengthens your culture.

Creating the culture that results in a thriving library is an ongoing practice. But isn’t this why you became a librarian? Look at where you are already succeeding and then take a first step to go either deeper, broader, or both. The results may embolden you!

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Getting Others to Work With You

You are only recognized as vital to the school community when others know what you do – not what they think you do. And best way to make certain you’re better known and understood is to have a cooperative or, even better, a collaborative relationship with teachers. Then a peer becomes and ally.

With some faculty members, it’s easy. Others use the library as little as possible. In elementary school, they drop off their students and depart for their free period. In the upper grades, they bring their class to complete an assignment without you and don’t want your help. Somehow, you need to reach these uninterested teachers. If your past suggestions have been ignored, what can you do?

In her article, How to Get Genuine Cooperation from Difficult People, LaRae Quy provides a five-step approach for those in the business world to solving that challenge. Here are her steps, with my suggestions for those of us in education:

  1. Remember, our first reaction is to not collaborate – The teachers with whom you don’t have a natural connection likely feel they know their job and don’t need you to help them to do it. Quy’s suggests reaching them through a common interest. What do they care about? Email them about a resource or article that focuses on it. Follow up with one that says you hope it was helpful. Offer to work with them on a learning project on the topic. Ask them how they would like to structure it. Accept their approach, adding, as necessary, “we could also…” as a way to show how you can support them.
  2. Control facial responses – Not only do we communicate verbally, in print, and digitally, we also communicate silently with our body language. Our facial expression sends a message. Is your concern, disinterest or disdain visible? You don’t want your face to show that you think the teacher’s approach is not nearly as productive as it could be. Your negative silent message will carry a greater impact than your verbal positive one.
  3. Share personal stories – No one knows better than librarians how stories build connections. You might share memories about learning that topic when you were in school and any impact it had on your life. Figure out your story in anticipation of this conversation to keep it natural. Hopefully, your story will bring out one from the teacher. Now you have a new common interest and connection you can build your relationship on.
  4. Refuse to let it escalate – Should you get a strong negative response to any of your suggestions, keep from answering in the same manner. If you do, you have lost the possibility for any cooperation now or in the future. Quy offer saying this as an alternative, “I see how you feel (or think), but here is another way to look at the situation…” Start by acknowledging their reaction. It’s not easy to do in the moment, but knowing the importance of keeping your cool will help. (And work on controlling your body language and facial expressions.)
  5. Appeal to higher moral ground – Find a shared common value and speak to it. For example, you could say, “We both want our students to be successful not only in their studies but in becoming lifelong learners in an ever-changing world.” Common beliefs build connections, and connections build relationships.

The first time you try this with a teacher, it might not work and it may feel uncomfortable because it’s new. Collaboration might not come naturally for you either, but that’s not a reason to stop. Try again in a few weeks. Don’t give up. It’s too important. You can do it. You are a leader and have overcome obstacles before; you will do it again. The results – and the ripple effects to other teachers – will be worth it..

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It’s a Wicked World. Make It Work for You

There’s no question that things have gotten wicked these days. It’s hard not to be fearful and stressed, but that way takes the joy out of what we do. We know our students and teachers need us to be our best. How can we deal with the climate we face?

We are leaders. We don’t react; we act. It’s time to generate positive PR about school libraries and school librarians. And what better way to do it than to tap into the popular (see what I did there?) movie Wicked to inspire us and bring some levity to a serious challenge.

Kim Marcus guides you through the process in her article, 5 PR Lessons From Wicked and Its Most Iconic Characters. Laugh a little as you apply their route to success into your world.

Elphaba: Own Your Narrative – This is one we must develop. Like Elphaba, we have often been unfairly cast in the role of villain. Markus says, “Be proactive in telling your story.” We are good at tech and story. Be creative in using video, well-designed infographics, and other tools of our trade to show what kids are learning and doing.  Design a logo and tagline if you haven’t done so yet and look for ways to get it out to your school community and the larger one that doesn’t understand the depth of complexity of what a librarian’ s job is.

Glinda: Embrace What Makes You Extraordinary – Glinda knows all about how to be popular and win others over. We know how to connect learning to life and life to learning. We know how to find the “just-right” book for a kid and the most helpful tech resources to power a teacher’s lesson. Take in your strengths and use them to send your message out to the communities you serve.

The Wizard: Avoid Misleading Narratives – We aren’t the ones using smoke and mirrors to send out the misleading and fictitious narratives, but we do need to counter it. For these PR techniques, this means being mindful of avoiding the pitfall of “not statements.” Never say what we don’t do. Thinking we are countering that message by denying it, we are in fact reinforcing it. People tend to blank out the “not’s” when recalling points made.

Madame Morrible: The Power of Influence – The best way to deliver your message is to have someone else say it. Advocacy is always the key. Students’ showing their projects created through using the library and commenting on what the library means to them are your first best influencers. They tell teachers and parents who speak more often to administrators. Those fanning the campaigns against school librarians claim students are being damaged. Let your students show their successes and growth.

The Townsfolk: Build Word-of-Mouth Trust – Marcus points out it was the townsfolk who spread the lies about Elphaba. Our townsfolk, or a vocal section of them, are doing the same to us. Make a point of getting out into your community. Go to and use local businesses. Mention as if in passing that you are the librarian at the school. Make positive comments about the business. In other word, build a relationship. Look for opportunities to help them with a tech issue and/or find information they need.

It is definitely time to defy the gravity of negativity pulling us down. Tap into these lessons from Wicked. Because every librarian deserves the chance to fly.

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Quiet Doesn’t Have To Go Unnoticed

You know it’s important for others to view you as a vital part of the educational community. But what if you are an introvert? How can you get your message out when you are uncomfortable speaking up and actively sharing your accomplishments?

A few weeks ago, I wrote about how extroverts can benefit from using some of the strengths of introverts (Leadership Strengths of Introverts). These are the strengths you use naturally. For example, you are likely a deep and aware listener. You are good at tuning into what the teachers are saying or hearing the places where your principal is struggling. This awareness is a powerful skill when used purposefully. Knowing what others want and need, seeing where your skills can support them, allows you to help them get it. You don’t need to talk. Just do.

In her article, How to Get Noticed at Work as a Quiet Person, Jessica Chen, author of Smart Not Loud: How to Get Noticed At Work For All the Right Reasons, provides several suggestions you can use to support your success:

  • How you talk about your wins – Telling people how great you are or how well a program did is very uncomfortable for you. This isn’t necessarily a problem, since people often discount what they hear if they feel it is bragging. What you can do that will feel more comfortable is focus on the success of those you worked with. Talk about something the students created or about the teacher who worked with you on a learning project.
  • Spend time – Which teachers are considered stars? Which ones talk up about the great things they have done? Make it a point to spend time with them and find ways to collaborate with them. They will spread the word. They always do. And this time, you will be included in what they are saying.
  • Find your differentiating factor – Chen asks you to take the time to identify what it is you like to do and comes easily to you. Chances are, this is something that is challenging and/or less fun for others. Don’t discount it because it’s easy for you. This is your superpower. Once you know what it is, stop and think about who can benefit from it.
  • Link your talent to opportunity – Listen (already one of your skills) for more opportunities where you can offer your superpower to help someone. (Don’t worry, you don’t have to call it your superpower.) Knowing how to meet people’s needs and wants is a great way to get noticed by them. When you work in collaboration, there are more people to talk about the success – which means you can say less.
  • Expand your reach – Think bigger. Look for school and district committees where your talents and skills support their long and short-term goals. Once on the committee, do what you do so well – wait, watch, and listen. You will soon see ways you can help and once you do, your contributions will be noticed.
  • Advocating for yourself – Promotion yourself can be a huge challenge for introverts. Chen suggests using the acronym ACCT to guide you.
  • “A” is for Asking for what you want – Things won’t be given to us just because we work hard. Only you know what you need. Get clear, get specific, and ask. Your ongoing success depends on your speaking up for yourself.
  • “C” is for Circling Back – Most of the time you won’t get an immediate answer to your ask. This means you need to ask again. It shows you are serious. Go back to your clarity. They didn’t respond because of their priorities, not because the answer is no.
  • “C” is for Celebrate Your Wins – This is neither boasting nor something that has to be done “loudly”. If a teacher sends you a note about how a lesson has impacted further learning by students, after thanking her, forward it to your principal. (I also keep a Success Journal to keep me empowered.)
  • “T” is for Turning Down Requests – You have to know when (and how) to say “no.” If you take on everything you will soon be overwhelmed, and your work will suffer as will your personal mental health. You won’t have the ability to advocate for yourself. Instead of saying “no”, offer alternatives.
  • Speak up in meetings – I can almost hear the panic. This can be a real challenge for introverts, but Chen has an answer: The 4 A Sequence (and only three of them require you to say anything):
  • Active Listening – Use this skill to listen for the right moment to enter the conversation.
  • Acknowledge – Your first statement should make reference to the previous speaker. You can concur if you agree or say something neutral if you are about to disagree.
  • Anchor  – Having acknowledged the last speaker, use a few words from what the person said in introducing you comment or idea. The connection makes your response fit in the context of the meeting.
  • Answer – Now say what you have to add to the conversation. Stick to the point. Make it brief.

You have amazing skills and strengths. Being an introvert doesn’t change that, but they could be hidden. Look to see which of these steps are ones you feel you could incorporate. Soon, you will feel safe stepping out of your comfort zone, and your community will see you as the leader you are.

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Step Into The Limelight

You work hard, but who notices it? Does your principal recognize what you do? Are teachers aware of the many ways you can make their jobs easier and promote student learning? What do parents know about the library program? How about the school board and the community?

Learning how to promote your program is as important as anything else you do. Being visible is crucial for being valued. And if you are not valued, you are likely to become history.

For many of us, self-promotion seems like bragging, which has a strong negative perception. But you don’t have to boast about your accomplishments to make sure people are aware of them. There are more subtle ways to get your message across.

In her blog article, Jessica Chen, author of Smart, Not Loud: How to Get Noticed at Work for All the Right Reasons. presents ideas on How to Get Noticed at Work as a Quiet Person which can be useful for those who feel less comfortable sharing their wins:

  • How you talk about your wins – Even if you were the driving force in a project or event, focus on those who benefited. Talk about what students achieved. Inform your principal about the great job the teacher did in working with you. In the explanation, you will show them your contribution. As an additional benefit, the teacher will appreciate the recognition and share that with others. Relationships will deepen and new connections may be created.
  • Shaping your career brand – This is about getting noticed for those aspects of librarianship you most value. Chen has several steps for doing this.
  • Get crystal clear on your core values – This should include AASL’s Common Beliefs, your Vision, Mission, and whatever else you find vital to a school library program
  • Find your differentiating factor – What part of your job do you love the most? What are you best at? Is it tech? Do you most love designing learning opportunities? Is it interacting with students? This is your talent, your superpower. It’s what you bring that allows your program to shine in a way only you can.
  • Link your talent to opportunity – Seize any chance to use your talent more widely. If tech is your superpower, see if you can find a place the district’s tech committee. Get friendly with the IT department. If you enjoy the student interactions most, start a club or lead an extra-curricular activity.
  • Advocating for yourself – While this is the biggest challenge for many, Chen makes it easier using the acronym ACCT.
  • Ask for what you want – No one is going to give it to you if they don’t know you want it. Whether it’s a budget increase or collaboration with a teacher, you need to take the first step by asking.
  • Circle back – You are not likely to get a positive response on the first request. Ask again, perhaps modifying the request. Some people say no to learn if you are truly committed to the idea. (I had a Superintendent like this!)
  • Celebrate your wins – Share any positive feedback you receive whether from students, teachers or parents. Forward any positive email to your principal saying this made your day.
  • Turning down requests – This is the hard one because usually, we can’t do that. Since we don’t want to load up our day with tasks that don’t forward or promote our program look for ways the ask can be modified to align it better with what you want to achieve.
  • Speak up in meetings – Introverts tend to stay quiet, and the result is they are unseen. Chen recommends The 4A Sequence:
  • Active listening – To help you engage, listen for key words and the right moment to speak up.
  • Acknowledge – Acknowledge the last speaker so it doesn’t sound as though you interrupted them.
  • Anchor – Using one or two words from what the last speaker said, you are connecting your ideas to what has gone before.
  • Answer – Now briefly make your point. Be clear and concise so that the listeners know your focus.

Hiding your light under a bushel won’t get you or your program noticed. As a leader, you need to be visible in a positive way. It’s an important skill to learn to show the people in your community  how you make a difference.

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The Lasting Legacy of Librarians

In the May 2024 issue of Educational Leadership (EL), the journal of the Association for Supervision and Curriculum Development (ASCD), the opening of the article “Increasing the Psychic Rewards of Teaching” caught my attention. The author, Koss Minor, quotes the following from Dan Lortie’s book Schoolteacher: A Sociological Study:

While lawyers know whether they have won or lost a case, and architects get to see their designs rendered into a house, teachers must rely on more psychic rewards—subjective experiences that lend themselves towards feelings of success.

It is perhaps even truer for school librarians. Teachers can point to standardized tests (not that these are the best indicators) and end-of-unit assessments. As librarians, we create  our own ways of measuring what our students learned and took away from any given learning experience – often only lasting for one class. And, yes, there are studies such as those written by Keith Curry Lance and Debra E, Katchel showing what we bring. The studies are sadly too often been ignored by administrators who sometimes see them as self-serving. Some days it’s hard to keep doing what we do as we see budgets and positions being eliminated.

But today I can tell you quite definitively that what we do is not only important, but remembered.

Fifty years ago, I returned to school librarianship after my youngest began an all-day nursery program and became the librarian of a brand-new, K-6 public school based on the British infant school plan. It was there that I learned much about cooperating with teachers – and did what I thought was the main job of a school librarian – I read stories to all grades.

That wouldn’t be the focus of any librarian today. It can’t be. However, as I recently learned, we must not lose this aspect of what we bring to students. To recognize the 50th anniversary milestone, the borough decided to celebrate it. There was a carnival – and a Facebook group for it. When I posted I had great memories of my time there and was looking forward to being there, former students began commenting. A few hoped I would read a story again.

The request for a story was my first indicator of what I saw once I was at the event. My former students kept coming to me talking about what they remembered. They spoke of specific books that lingered and mattered. One mentioned the Phantom Tollbooth by Norman Juster. She noted when she saw it in a bookstore, she bought six copies to distribute to friends to read to their kids. Others shared that they got their love of reading from me. The day made reminded me that the most lasting gift we can give our students is the joy of reading.

In the 50 years since I started this journey with you, librarians have pivoted constantly. We have become the tech experts in our buildings. We keep up with whatever new technology comes along. We share our expertise with teachers. We adapt our collection for the times and the students in our building.

And still our numbers shrink.

Librarians are leaving the profession at an alarming rate, partially from exhaustion and stress. Unfortunately, a bigger reason is the attacks we have been facing not only from parents and boards of education but also from state legislators. How do we continue to get up each day and enthusiastically work on carrying out our Mission Statements and bringing our Vision Statements into reality?

In writing this blog, I searched the internet to find articles on the part of our Mission Statement we often overlook – creating lifelong readers. The best I could do was this MiddleWeb blog, School Libraries Build Lifelong Reading Skills. Although it was from a classroom teacher’s perspective who started with her classroom library, she did reach out to the school librarian. The cooperation was great, but students had very few opportunities to be in the library.

What is missing is the joy. That is something key we bring and must continue to bring.

I hope you can find ways in today’s tech-driven world to bring the joy of reading to students. Keep reading stories at the elementary level, have book clubs at middle and high school. Because one of the ways we create a legacy is through fostering the love of reading. Keep being there for your students – and trust that you are making a lasting difference.

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Learning To Be Likeable

Beyond books, special projects, and curriculum, we are in the relationship business. This means we must always be making positive connections with teachers, students, administrators, and other advocates. Being likeable can go a long way in furthering these associations.

When your community enjoys being around you, as well as trusting your expertise, they are open and willing to work with you. You’ll find yourself creating collaborative projects with teachers and building lasting relationships. When students like you, they will come to you as a resource for questions beyond their reading. And when administrators like you, they are more apt to reach out to you to add your support and skills to the overall goals they have for the school. When you see the benefits, it’s clear that we need to be sure we are doing all we can to be likable.

Fortunately, there are aspects of likeability that are learnable. In an article entitled 6 Habits of Instantly Likable People, Gwen Moran presents these traits which we all need to cultivate. What makes someone likeable?

  1. They are present – If you are in a rush, you tend to make it obvious that you don’t really have time to listen to what the other person is saying. You can’t make a connection that way, and people feel you are too busy to care about them. Be focused on the conversations you are having. Moran says asking questions shows your interest, and people are likely to respond positively to that interest.
  2. They give and share credit – After working with a class, make sure to make positive comments about how well-prepared students were and acknowledge any faculty support. When you share the results with your principal, focus on the teacher’s contribution.  You needn’t explain your contribution. And if the principal praises the teacher, they are more likely to come and work with you again.
  3. They are authentic – Always be yourself.  In your library, a classroom, or the parent/teacher night. People are good at spotting when you are trying too hard or are assuming a persona to fit the situation. Trust who you are and what you bring.
  4. They are caring and empathetic – As the saying goes, “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.”  When you have asked questions, follow up on the answers when problems and stresses are mentioned. Be alert to the body language of others to recognize when they are concerned and follow-up.
  5. They are good and active listeners – People appreciate and value being heard. If you are doing numbers 1,2, and 4, this is probably happening naturally. When you are not “present,” there is no way you can be actively listening. Some of us think we are listening, but we are only waiting for a chance to respond and/or get our thoughts expressed. Be focused on what the person is saying and trust you will have time for your input.
  6. They are good communicators – Be clear in what you say and how you say it. Ambiguity makes people uncomfortable and frequently leads to them wondering if you are trustworthy. This does not lead to being likable. Look for ways to share the truth without being rude or hurtful.

We make quick decisions about others. If our initial impression was negative, it can take a long time to change it. Therefore, it’s important to continually improve our ability to build relationships. The better we are at it, the more we will be seen as vital to the school community. With each new relationship we build advocates for what we do. Our students, teachers, and administrators need us and this connection ensures we’re around for them.

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Small Talk Brings Big Results

Your success is built on the strength of the relationships you have as much as it is on the programs you run and the collections you create. If we don’t know how to build relationships, we will soon be out of business. So how do we develop these relationships? You start with small talk.

Small talk is like the way plants reproduce by dropping their seeds everywhere. Most of them won’t take root, but some will. And that’s the idea. Not every short conversation will start a relationship, but some will.  Sometimes, you will run into that person again, and you continue with small talk until one day you discover it’s become something bigger.

Consider every interaction as an opportunity. But use it as an opportunity to connect, not to push your message about librarians. When you have a follow up conversation, then the opening might occur. If it does, have your elevator speech ready (2-3 sentences that explain your mission for the library). Even better — have many variations depending on what would be most appropriate in the moment.

The post by Lisa A. Beach, The Art of Small Talk: How to Connect with Strangers and Acquaintances, is a helpful guide to developing your skill at purposeful small talk. Remember, all interactions are significant because no matter their length they will leave the other person with a positive or negative impression of you.

Beach recommends that you don’t divulge too many personal details too soon. Instead, you need to look and listen for clues that the other party is interested. What information have they offered? Why are they participating in this conversation? Do they appear to be welcoming the interchange?  She suggests you “find the magic in the moment.” Enjoy the conversation without worrying if it will go further.

To get better at small talk, Beach offers the following techniques:

  • The art of making small talk more meaningful – Get the other person to talk by asking open ended questions. Are they reading a book? Wearing a scarf or piece of jewelry you like? Have a picture on their desk of a pet or family member? All of these can be a place to start a conversation about something clearly important to them.
  • Overcoming shyness in social situations – If you are uncomfortable about initiating a conversation, remember the outcome you want which is better relationships throughout your school with students, teachers, and administrators. Since small talk has low stakes, this can be a great place to gain confidence. This way when you need speak, there’s already a connection to lean on. The more you engage in these – even when you’re nervous – the better your results will be over time.
  • Navigate graceful exits – Knowing how to get out of a conversation is as important as knowing how to start one. Some people have a lot of time on their hands and can talk forever. Beach has a three-step method. First, thank them for an interesting conversation, then indicate what you need to do, and close by wishing them well.  For part one, identify something they shared that you appreciated.  This has the added benefit of showing them you were listening. It may also give you a way to start your next conversation.

Small talk may not seem important, but these brief interactions will add up to something bigger – a relationship. As librarians, we want to be someone students, teachers, and administrators come to for our expertise. Becoming that kind of trusted resource takes time. When you start with small talk you create the opportunity for more significant conversations that lead to collaborations and new successes.

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Vary Your Leadership Style

Just as people have a style of speaking and dressing, so too do they have a style of leadership. This might not be something you’ve thought about consciously, but you do have a way you lead When you become aware of it, you can use the one that best support your success in a given situation.

When I’ve spoken on leadership styles, I discuss that I lean into that of Native Americans who espouse Servant Leadership. As the term suggests, this style views the leader as working for the good of the people. For school librarians, focusing on helping others be successful is a natural part of what we do.

Whatever your style is, it probably comes so naturally to you, you don’t usually think of changing it, but there are times when servant leadership is not the best for managing a situation. As leaders we need to be aware of those occasions and know what style we need to draw on to be the most effective. In his blog post, “Are You Using the Most Appropriate Leadership Style? Paul Thornton says there are three basic styles: Directing Style, Discussing Style, and Delegating Style.

Thornton defines these as:

  • Directing Style – You tell people what to do.
  • Discussing Style – You collaborate with others asking for ideas and opinions.
  • Delegating Style – You give others an opportunity to demonstrate their skills and abilities.

He then speaks with leaders in different fields (fire fighter, professor, hockey coach, minister) to explain how they use these three style in action. It’s a fascinating read to see how they each use these styles to bring out the best results for a given situation. Consider their responses along with mine to see where you use them.

  • Directing Style – This is a good one for emergency situations. You also use it when you give students directions as you begin a project with them or start a class at the elementary level. It’s the style you use when you set goals. It is also useful when there is no place for discussion.
  • Discussing Style – This is how you collaborate with teachers or learn where students are in a process. You want to make sure you hear them. Know what they are trying to achieve. It’s how you are careful not to override them. Long ago when a teacher wanted her entire science class to research the same scientist, I suggested she would get bored reading all the same information. From there together we went onto a more meaningful project. When you’re working with students, you help them discover what they are seeking rather controlling what they find. It’s the style that is essential to making the library a safe, welcoming space for all. This style can also be very effective with administrators allowing you to build a relationship with your principal. Learn what their priorities and goals are, then find positive things to share that reflect how your work supports this such as a great project students did. Spotlight both the teacher and the students for the project.
  • Delegating Style – Beth McGinnis-Cavanaugh, a professor of engineering and physical sciences, says, “Delegating requires students to take charge of their learning and performance. This approach teaches students how to advocate for themselves, ask for help, communicate, seek needed resources and work independently.” We need to give students choice and voice so they discover their own strengths and recognize they can overcome challenges. You might also use Delegating Style when working with teachers with whom you have built a solid collaborative relationship. Having them select from different resources as to where students will be “directed” to begin or creating the Essential Question for the project is empowering.

Most of you are probably using all three styles without thinking about it. However, as leaders we are most effective when we do things consciously. Consider the situation and choose the leadership style you need.