Posted on by hildaweisburg

I Hear You

We know the importance of building relationships. While you can start making the necessary connections by emailing websites or apps that might interest teachers, the action that results in collaboration or cooperation doesn’t truly begin without face-to-face conversations. How we handle these in person interactions can speed or derail the process.

Just as a bad wi-fi connection can interfere with hearing what people are saying on a Zoom call, the way you respond to the teachers can prevent you from hearing them – and prevent them from reaching out to you in the future. You may think you are offering help and support, but that is not what is being communicated. What can go awry and how can you prevent it?

In my book The Art of Communication, I discuss the importance not only of active listening, but being aware of the non-verbal signals you are sending when you speak with someone. Similarly, in his blog post, How to Make People Feel Heard, David Burkus recommends four ways to improve your connections and relationships. He starts with active listening then offers three other usable skills.

  1. Model Active Listening – We know how important this is, but in the moment some of us, me included, get so caught up in wanting to respond, we plunge ahead. So much for active listening. Nodding and gesturing helps, but make sure your gestures aren’t expressing “Hurry up and finish, I have something to say.” Remember, our body language speaks volumes. What can help is summarizing what you think you heard them say. Give them the space to point out any parts you may have misheard or misunderstood. This ensures any further response doesn’t include false assumptions.
  • Praise the Contribution –Burkus says, even if you disagree, let them know you appreciate their willingness to share the information or their opinion with you. Identify any points which you agree with. By showing you respect what they said, you open the way for them to take in your response. It also alleviates any tension that may be building up. This is especially powerful when the interaction occurs at a meeting, and we have an audience. Our interactions with the speaker, usually unconscious, show others how you treat people. You could be inadvertently preventing other relationships from building.
  • Challenge Assumptions, Not Ideas – In these contentious times, it’s so easy to speak out against the ideas being stated. Instead, Burkus recommends you focus on the assumptions that underlie them. This way, you are more likely to discover the thinking process that lead them to develop their ideas. You can ask questions about the assumptions. If you can, point out where there is additional information that conflicts with those assumptions, but keep it factual and as emotion free as possible. Identify any areas where you have common ground, such as, “we all want our students to be successful.”
  • Questions Before Advice – Just as we want our students to feel safe in the library, our relationships with teachers depend on how safe they feel with us. Asking questions to determine where they want to go shows we want to go on this journey with them. They might not be asking for advice. Once you know what they are looking for, then you can offer support. I once had a teacher who wanted her entire ninth grade class to research Galileo. Rather than say, “Are you kidding me?” I asked what she wanted by having the focus be on Galileo. Her response that she wanted them to see the scientific method in action led me to suggest the possibility of having them choose from a list of scientists to report on how scientists’ work showed the importance of the scientific method. Once she knew I was listening to and understanding her goals, she was willing to diversify the assignment and used Galileo as a model when she introduced the assignment.

These same rules apply when we’re building our relationships with students. We need to pay close attention to discover what they are saying if we want to truly respond to their request and make them feel safe and welcome. Be sure that the student who you thought asked for help in finding out about euthanasia wasn’t looking for information about youth in Asia.

Our leadership is always about relationships. We need to continually learn how to build and maintain them. It’s a skill that requires lifelong learning – with lifelong benefits.

Posted on by hildaweisburg

Be More Effective

According to Merriam Webster, effective means “producing a decided, decisive, or desired effect.” A second meaning for the word is “ready for service or action.” You obviously want to get certain tasks done during the course of the day, but are you doing this effectively? And if not… why not?

When you sit down at your desk, are you completely ready for action? Or do you start by straightening things up, putting off the moment when you begin? Even after you have begun, there are so many things that can and do pull you off track. It’s no wonder that by the time you finish for the day, it’s frequently later than you had planned, and you are often feeling battered and thoroughly exhausted.

In his blog post, These Three Questions Help Our Effectiveness, John Keyser quotes David Emerald’s 3 Vital Questions: Transforming Workplace Drama, observing how the approach is simple, helpful, and insightful. The responses to these questions require reflection which Keyser guides you through. As usual, even though this post is intended for business leaders, you are leaders, and it does apply to all of us.

Here are the questions and the process for responding to them (italics are based on Keyser’s emphasis):

  1. Where is my focus? – Take time to notice where your thoughts are going and if they are pulling you off track. Ask yourself: Am I focused on where it should be? Am I listening to what my teachers really want/need? Have I heard what the student was really looking for? Do I communicate my appreciation for what they do? Do I let teachers know I am grateful when they take a chance and work with me? When I am helping others, am I focused on doing my best so they do a great job? Do I do it all with kindness or am I abrupt and thinking about getting back to a task? In the process, am I giving feedback in positive ways that can be heard? You won’t be able to do all of these at once (or immediately) but keeping them in mind will help.
  2. How are my relationships? – Keyser says, “Relationships matter greatly” and this is no surprise to us. I have repeatedly stated we are in the relationship business. If we aren’t building relationships, we will be out of business. To do this, Keyser recommends one-on-one conversations. Every interaction, planned or spontaneous, is an opportunity for starting or building a relationship.
  3. What steps/actions am I taking? We cannot ignore the truth that everything we do has an impact. The smallest step in relationship-building leads to more steps. The clearer your focus, the better your results. To-do lists and priorities are recommended as always as a way to see your progress and know that you are moving in the right direction. Keyser recommends you have only three items on your to-list, and these should be the ones that will produce the most significant outcomes. (In other words, don’t just pick the easy ones.) Be hones with yourself – what will move you toward your most desired result.

You probably won’t go through these three every day. However, if you do this at the beginning of the work week and then review them again at the end, you’ll see the results as well as where you want to do things different. The process and practice of self-reflection and self-evaluation is good to develop and will lead to great effectiveness.

Posted on by hildaweisburg

The Truth About Multi-tasking

Last week, I shared with you about the real problem of decision fatigue and having too many choices. This is what leads many of us to spend our day multi-tasking. But there’s a downside to this skill – it doesn’t work. Studies show that we cannot successfully do many things at the same time. Yes, your brain is constantly chattering at you when you have a lot on your plate, and you have multiple thoughts in your head at any given time, but the simple fact is multi-tasking doesn’t help us to do the job we want.

I was a confirmed multi-tasker. I was proud that I could respond to a few emails, get back to working on a project, and open some junk mail while I was taking a call. But it was costing me. Almost every time I multi-tasked, I didn’t produce my best work. I hit send in my email – and realized too late that I had made typos, or worse, I sent it to the wrong person. Other times, I didn’t fully read an email I received and didn’t follow through properly. Projects were completed, but not as well as they could be. Everything got slightly short changed.

Multi-tasking didn’t and doesn’t work.

So how do you get through it all? Naphtali Hoff advises Instead of Multitasking, Go All in on Your Tasks. We need to be single-task focused. He offers the following 8 steps to take:

  1. Make a to-do list and/or block out times – Take note of your priorities and then set time to do them. One at a time. You don’t need to act on your biggest priority first (especially if you don’t have the time until later), but know what you are going to do and when. And then only do this thing.
  2. Break down large projects or tasks into chunks – Because we frequently look at how much needs to be done – and frequently get overwhelmed – this one is important to repeat. Get clear on the steps, and then do each step completely before moving on to the next. It’s the old story, “How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.” As each step is taken, success doesn’t seem impossible.
  3. Work in time blocks – Hoff says to work for 25 minutes and then take a 5 minute break. This works great if you can keep your breaks to five minutes (To be honest, I’m not always good at that). Working for short, dedicated periods of time helps our brains to not “panic” that we have to stay focused indefinitely. Like breaking things into chunks, breaking down time this way works, too. It is also easy to stay focused on one thing if you know it’s for a shorter period of time.
  4. Remove distractions – Hoff has several recommendations, including shutting off your phone (so hard!), keeping your desk neat, and closing open computer tabs. Do what you can to keep your focus on the single task you are trying to accomplish.  
  5. Set unrealistic personal deadlines – This one is a little more controversial and won’t work for everyone. Hoff believes that if you give yourself a shorter deadline, you’re more likely to stay focused and be more productive. Try it (and let me know if it works!) For example, tell yourself you’ll get something that normally takes you an hour done in half an hour, then push yourself to do it. For some, that deadline and pressure will be motivating.
  6. Write it down – Most of the time, when we suddenly remember we need to do something while we’re in the midst of another project, we attend to it. Then when we get back to the original task, we waste time reviewing to find out where we are. Instead, keep a notepad nearby, make note of what needs to be done next (or later), then get right back to what you are doing during this time block knowing that you won’t forget and can take care of the other project later.
  7. Follow your energy – When do you do your best work? First thing in the morning? After answering emails? Maybe you’re an evening person. Use that time for the work that needs your clearest focus and schedule other tasks for other times.
  8. Enjoy the sensation – It’s that inner delight when you cross something off your to-do list. The more you do, the more energized you are. Take the time to feel good about what you’ve done and you’ll have more energy to tackle whatever comes next.

Being a leader puts a lot on your plate. So does running a school library. You will do better at both if you follow as many of these steps as possible and stop multi-tasking and instead, keep your focus to a single task at a time. By doing this, you’ll be amazed at how many tasks you actually get done and how well you’re able to do them.

Posted on by hildaweisburg

Combatting Decision – and Leadership – Fatigue

Most people aren’t aware of how many decisions they make over the course of the day. Starting with what to wear, what to have for breakfast and continuing from there, is it any wonder that by the end of the week (if not sooner) we’re unable to make a clear choice? This is known as Decision Fatigue – the mental exhaustion that results from the toll all our decisions take on our thoughts and resulting in the difficulty, or even inability, to make more decisions.

The most notable cure for Decision Fatigue is the Eisenhower Decision Matrix (also known as the Urgent-Important Matrix) which recommends identifying which of the decisions you need to make are urgent and which are important. Some are both, some neither, and some one or the other. The big takeaway that is not always mentioned is that once you make a firm decision, you are able to relax because all the other possibilities are not churning through your brain.

Personally, I was recently in such a state. I had a significant interruption in my personal life, and I was about to work on a fall class for which I was scheduled where there were some tech issues that were concerning me. My program leader, hearing of my personal issue, offered to replace me. My first thought was to reject the offer because this is work I love. But on examining urgent and important, it became clear that I needed to accept it. I did, and it’s amazing how much calmer I am as a result.

Decision fatigue is endemic in leadership, and you are a leader so you need tools that can help you when this happens. In addition to the Eisenhower Matrix, Art Petty offers seven other ideas for managing this in his blog post Leadership Fatigue Is a Thing –Make Time to Recharge offers seven other ideas for getting past it.

  1. Center on your purpose as a leader – He asks how do you want to be remembered? What impact do you want to make? And what help do others need from you? My recommendation is focus on your Mission statement. It will help you decide what’s urgent and /or important.
  2. Adjust your attitude through Beginner’s Mind thinking – When you are a beginner, all is possible – but that can’t last. Petty recommends “suspending judgment and seeking first to understand.” He finds this leads to a deeper level of calm and the opportunity for new discoveries.
  3. Treat the workplace as a living laboratory and start experimenting – As with the above, this brings freshness into your day. It will spark the enthusiasm that disappeared when your decision fatigue took over. Try a new approach. Look for a new way of doing something. And consider asking, who else can handle this task (which is part of the Eisenhower Decision Matrix)?
  4. Commit to creating value at every encounter – How you can impact, improve in some way, what the other person is experiencing? A quick suggestion to a teacher or well-chosen words of encouragement to a student can bring a positive response from them which, in turn, gives you a lift. It restores that enthusiasm. Petty (and I) recommend you keep track of these encounters.
  5. Get physical to rejuvenate the mind and body – It’s amazing how physical activity supports our success. For me, walking outside restores my whole being. I take time to breathe deeply which helps me have a positive mindset. Add meditation if that speaks to you All this helps in erasing the drain of decision fatigue.
  6. Reinvent your career without resigning – Look at interesting possibilities that capture your attention and passion within our world. If you belong to AASL or another national library organization, you might consider doing occasional blog posts for them. This practice can help you identify the important things in your life, promote your leadership skills, increase the presence of your library and give you a sense of satisfaction. Maybe you could join a school committee or drop one that’s draining, boring, and/or accomplishing nothing.
  7. Do something completely different – What fills you up outside of your work. I have many friends who are quilters in addition to being library leaders. Do you like to draw? Have you considered writing a book? What possibility engages your mind and passion? Once you add it you will have something else bringing enthusiasm into your life.

Recognize when decision fatigue is making your work – and therefore personal – life draining, exhausting, and lacking the feeling that first made you love what you do. Decision Fatigue will happen. When you know how it affects you, you can learn how to deal with it so you can continue make a difference in the lives others – and decide what to make for dinner.