The title sounds like an oxymoron. All the science tells us that positive thoughts and big, clear goals are what we need for success. But what if some of the things we’re striving for are a little too much? Then we “fail” and starting again or moving forward becomes harder. Especially if teachers or our administrator knew what we were trying to achieve. Always reaching high not only creates stress but long term it can lead to burn out, neither of which is helpful when we need and want to keep going.  We need to be careful not to doom our future by overreaching our capabilities.

In her article “How to Win by Lowering the Stakes” for Psychology Today, Chitra Ragavan illustrates why and how lower stakes can allow us to reach bigger goals. She contrasts the mindset and results of Olympic Figure Skaters Ilia Malinin and Alysa Liu to make her points. For our uses, I will build some examples that align with our community’s needs.

Defensive Pessimism vs. Strategic Optimism – Ragavan explains, Defensive Pessimism is a psychological technique that has you lowering expectations to reduce pressure on achieving the desired outcome. This is what Liu did and it lead to her gold medal. By contrast, Strategic Optimism is when you set the bar on high and reject all negative thoughts which is part of doomed Malinin in his long program. When you launch a big project, such as school-wide reading club focusing on multiple genres to engage the entire student body, a Defensive Pessimist expects only one or two teachers to buy in. When three sign up – you’ve beaten the goal! On the other hand, a Strategic Optimist might create a presentation and flyers for a faculty meeting with a sign-up sheet ready to hand out and be disappointed and frustrated when only three teachers buy in.

Lowering the Stakes – To put lowering the stakes into action for your reading club project, you might start by seeking out teachers who love reading and already make good use of you and the library. Then, use the first year as a pilot project. Any participation is a win. Have a celebration at completion to build support and excitement for the next year.  It could take several years and need changes, but you would get there with less pressure and more pride. And others would see the growth over time. Ragavan says, “You can be physically and technically at your peak. But in the end, self-confidence and the ability to psychologically lower the table stakes in high-stress environments are the real advantages.” This approach takes the best aspects of both ends and makes your goals less stressful, yet still achievable.

And finally, what doesn’t work is Redemption Competition – This would be striving harder, setting the bar even higher to redeem yourself at a future moment or with the next goal. The likelihood that this will increase your stress—and probability of failure—are high and probably not worth it. In addition, the attitude of needing to “prove” yourself, adds to the chances of a public defeat. Instead, use a setback as an opportunity to learn and then set a goal like a Defensive Pessimist,

Lowering the stakes, lowers your stress. We all know it’s more than high enough these days.  You can successfully reach your desired outcome by relying on your ability and self-confidence. You know what you bring to the school community. Far too many schools don’t have school librarians. We can’t afford to lose any of us, either for being unable to show our value or because we are totally burned out. The kids and teachers need us. Look for ways to lower your expectations and hit even bigger goals.