We give feedback almost constantly in our lives and receive it as well. From complimenting someone on their service to getting honked when we’re driving. At school, we are likely most aware of offering it when we are interacting with students, but we also do it with teachers and administrators as well as our family and friends. What words we choose affects how our feedback is taken in – and whether or not it’s accepted.

In his Edutopia article, “Guiding Students to Receive Feedback as Information to Improve Their Skills,” Michael McDowell describes the two opposing ways the recipient internalizes feedback. He says they either take it “as information to improve their skills, or as a judgment about who they are.” We know what we want them to do with our feedback, but how can we ensure that they take it in a way they can use it?

McDowell presents these three concepts to be mindful of when  giving feedback – and some of these work for everyone, not just students:

• Describe the Work, Not the Student –  McDowell explains when we say “you,” we have made it personal, a judgement of the person’s worth. When we focus on the work, we have made it  correctable. One example given is to replace “You didn’t explain your reasoning” with “The reasoning is incomplete. The link between evidence and claim is missing.”  The first seems so natural to say and yet it can affect students’ self-worth. Working to discover how often “you” is applied when interacting with others will help make us more aware of that habit. Notice it in those giving you feedback. How do you react to it?
• Ensure That Every Student Gets Feedback – When you are working with 20+ students, that seems like an impossible task.  McDowell makes is easier by recommending you offer “Blind feedback with success criteria.”  Have students do just an introductory task. When they complete that, then they are given the success criteria and self-assess to see how they did. This is a very productive use of their time and yours. They are not waiting for you to call on them next. You can circulate among them to make specific comments. They already know how they did because they measured their work against the success  criteria. Another strategy is using the “dot protocol.” To do this, McDowell recommends you “[P]lace a small dot on a specific part of a student’s work. The dot isn’t labeled as “good” or “bad.” It simply signals a place to look.” This gives feedback while having students self-assess against the success criteria.

• Encourage Students to Use Work-Centered Protocols – Consider putting students in groups with members in charge of giving feedback to each other. Left to their own devices, they are not likely to give meaningful feedback, so McDowell prescribes giving them protocols to follow. One method he recommends is to give simpler protocols like sentence stems (“The solution is clear because…” or “One part that could improve is…” When students use this method, they are automatically describing the work rather than the student (back to the first recommendation). An additional benefit of this approach is that it trains students in how to give feedback.

While McDowell’s approach is directed to students, it is a good idea to be mindful of how the feedback you give others as part of your daily interactions should never feel like personal criticism. (And this is not a criticism of what you have done in the past.) Watch for body language as well as verbal responses to tell you how the feedback you’ve offered is being received.