Posted on by hildaweisburg

Your Presentation and Murphy’s Law

As a leader, you want to make your presence known to your stakeholders and presentation are a great opportunity for this. Speaking at a conference gives you credibility to your administrators. Giving a workshop for teachers shows them how you can support them in their jobs. Speaking to the parent association reveals to them the critical role librarians play and builds advocates.

The last thing you want or need in any of these situations is for Murphy’s Law, which states “Anything that can go wrong will go wrong.” to kick in. The possibility is always there. Anticipate it and be prepared. Most of the time, it won’t be necessary, but if should, you want to be ready for it.

John Millen advises you on how to do that in his blog, What to Do When Presentations Go Wrong. His seven step approach will ensure you handle it with ease.

  1. Plan for the Worst- Hope for the Best – Bring a second copy of your talk and especially a printout if you are relying on tech such as PowerPoint. When giving a presentation outside your school, see if you can send it in advance to someone who can pre-load it for you (and, hopefully, test out the system).
  2. Understand Your Audience – To whom are you speaking? Do you know any of them? What are their wants and needs? The more you know about your audience, the quicker you can make a connection with them. If you feel comfortable with them and they with you, they will be fine if the slide is not on the screen. Build in time to arrive early so you can mingle with them before you begin your presentation.
  3. Prepare and Rehearse – Spontaneity is great, but you don’t want to discover you have too much or too little for the time slot. Trust that as you go along you will go off script as you respond to the room. Knowing the approximate amount of time you have left allows you to do that and adjust. And without rehearsal, you are likely to read your slides rather than explain the point which can make your presentation stilted.
  4. Do Your Homework – If you are presenting at a conference, check out the room in advance. Where will you be standing? Will you be able to move around to make further connections with your audience. If possible, recheck the equipment to be sure all is working. The IT person at the conference or in your school can be of additional assistance.
  5. Create a Safety Net – Millen carries backup equipment such as an external hard drive with his presentation on it and additional cables and adapters.  You are not likely to need to go to this extreme unless you are speaking to a very large group, but knowing you have this can help put you at ease. Think in advance for other things that might help should something not go as planned.
  6. Let the Audience in on it – Don’t hide the fact that something has gone wrong. You have already built a connection with them. Share what is going on. You might let them know Murphy has shown up. Having them be with you as you work on correcting or dealing with the problem increases the bond and eases your tension.
  7. Be in the Moment and Keep on Going – This is an extension of the last one. Your audience wants you to succeed. They know things go wrong. You don’t need to be perfect. You just need to be prepared.

As you grow in your leadership journey, there will be increasing opportunities to give presentations. On the list of people’s fears, public speaking is more common than death. Preparation and planning can help with this. Don’t let fear – or Murphy’s Law – keep you from growing,

Posted on by hildaweisburg

Humility, Relationships & Leadership

Since childhood we have been schooled in not praising ourselves. By extension, we’re told that leaders shouldn’t go around boasting about their accomplishments. While there is a time for humility and for bringing others into our accomplishments, there is a difference between puffing yourself up and knowing how to receive compliments. If when we receive one, we turn it away, we not only make ourselves smaller, we minimize another’s opinion. In addition, since this tends to be a habit more practiced by women than men, it undermines their ability to be seen as leaders.

In her blog post, The Risk of Self-Effacement? “Self-Erasement” – Do’s & Don’ts, Leslie Williams explores how this type of humility diminishes you, the work you’ve done, and the person who complimented you. Williams gives six instances of when you might inadvertently send messages you hadn’t intended and how to respond instead.

  1. When Someone Compliments Your Work – This is one of the most common situations. Do you automatically say, “It was no big deal” and/or mention what you did wrong. The easiest way to respond is to say, “Thank You.” This acknowledges that you value what the other person said and what you accomplished. When it fits the situation, you can be generous in giving praise to any who were part of the success. That’s honest humility. A good leader knows how to share the spotlight and promote the work of others. Doing so not only builds relationships, it also builds advocates.
  2. When Disagreeing – Own your opinion but do so respectfully. Your goal usually is to convince them to see your point of view. Williams says they are not likely to do so if they sense your disdain, Also, don’t feint agreement, by nodding and smiling. As Williams says, if you disagree, “don’t make nice.”
  3. When Asking a Question – Williams cautions you not to say “I have a stupid question” or other ways of minimizing what you are about to ask. Say outright, “I have a question,” or state you wish to propose another perspective or issue. Own your curiosity and desire to learn more.
  4. When Negotiating Salary – After making sure you are aware of the salary scale for the position you want, know all the things you bring to the table What courses or certifications might add to what your new salary will be? What volunteer work shows your leadership, collaborative, and problem solving abilities? How confidently you present yourself affects the respect and value the administration will place on you – as well as your salary.
  5. When Managing Your Career –Too many librarians are so grateful to be tenured, they fail to read the handwriting on the wall. They are afraid to try to move to another district and only do so when their job has been eliminated. You are in a much stronger position when you still have a job than when you are seeking one. Don’t bad-mouth the district you hope to leave, but instead focus on what you feel you can achieve better in this new district – and all the qualifications you bring with you.
  6. What About You? – How self-effacing are you? Williams asks you to watch yourself over the next week. Try to catch yourself when responding or acting in a self-effacing manner. Record the action. Later, reflect on what caused the response. How did you feel in the moment? What could you have done differently? Is there a way you could have owned your success? And think about what the long term cost to you could be if you continue to respond this way?

Humility has its place. So does recognizing your accomplishments and successes. There’s no need to boast, but know how to accept praise, ask questions, and manage your career. And the more you are able to hear and accept praise, the more likely you are to take the next risk to grow as a leader.

Posted on by hildaweisburg

The Art of Listening

Last year, Libraries Unlimited released my book The Art of Communication: A Librarian’s Guide for Successful Leadership, Collaboration, and Advocacy. Despite my understanding of the subject overall, my great weakness is the art of listening. As an extrovert and one who talks a lot, all too often I forget to practice active listening.  And it’s in the listening that relationships are forged.

Both introverts and extroverts need to cultivate this important skill. Our students, teachers, administrators, and parents will value us if can meet their needs and wants.  Only by listening can we identify and understand these needs and wants.

To help us increase our ability to listen, David Lembi proposes 4 bad habits to drop and 3 skills to build in Leadership-Level Listening: The Quiet Superpower. As you read them, consider which bad habits have been impeding you and which skills you need to work on.

BAD HABITS

  1. Listening with a Goal in Mind – The object is to listen to what the other person is saying not on what you want to do. If you are waiting to jump in and offer your expertise, you will likely miss important information. Lembi says to “make understanding your only conversational goal.”
  2. Multi-tasking – This one is probably the most common. If you are doing something else like deleting unneeded emails, you are not listening to the person talking to you. And they are aware of it. Even if you are not physically doing something, you may have so much on your to-do list that you let your mind wander.  The lack of focus in your eyes lets the speaker know you are not paying attention.
  3. Judging – Deciding what the other person is saying is accurate, relevant, or important means you are not listening to all they are saying nor are you able to understand that individual’s point of view. Wait. You will have time to assess their message before you need to respond.
  4. Preparing Your Response – This is a habit I can easily fall into.  During the conversation, are you searching for the best way to frame your response. If so, you are longer listening.   To build relationships, people need to know you care and want to hear what they have to say. You don’t need to have every conversation end with a collaborative unit.  Your objective is to build the relationship.

3 SKILLS TO BUILD

  1. Engagement – Do you feel the connection between the two of you when you are talking?  That’s the engagement needed which creates the trust necessary to build a relationship. Lebni suggests we do whatever it takes to stay present and go “all in” on listening.
  2. Attunement – This is the next level. When you are attuned to the other person, you see things from their point of view.  It leans on your Social and Emotional abilities. You can sense their pain, frustration, and whatever emotions are at the root of what they are saying. Lembi says it’s akin to how musicians tune into each other to “synchronize rhythms and harmonize pitch.” It also allows you to be aware of the speaker’s nonverbal messages.
  3. Respect – You need to show that you believe in the value of the other person’s opinion – regardless of whether or not you agree or what else you might know. You never want to convey that you think their opinion can’t have merit. Instead, bring a sense of curiosity as to how they arrived at their conclusion or about what they are looking to learn.  If you are going to want them to value you, you must show you value them.

As a further help, Lembi suggests these 2 types of questions to use:

  1. Clarifying Questions – These help you make sure you have the details correctly. Lembi notes these also help you remember what was said more clearly.
  2. Diagnostic Questions – How, What, and Why questions deepen the conversation. They not only show you have been listening but also indicate you consider the other person’s ideas important and valuable.

Communication does not exist without listening.  As the old riddle ask, “If a tree falls in the forest and no one is there to hear it, does it make a sound.”  Make sure you hear all conversations you are engaged in. It’s vital to your relationship building skills and the continued success of your program..

Posted on by hildaweisburg

Using Stress to Succeed

Who isn’t dealing with stress? We face it at work and most of us face it at home. Librarians, teachers and administrators are dealing with scary challenges. And we not only have to manage our own stress, but we have to interact with others who are experiencing stress as well. Our students’ mental health has become a concern. Teachers have new goals and guidelines they don’t know how to meet. Administrators face unending political pressures.

People under stress are rarely at their best. Tempers flare, harsh words are said, and relationships are torn, sometimes beyond repair. We can’t afford to endanger our relationships. As leaders and librarians, successful relationships are vital to what we want to achieve. But we can’t simply wish our stress away. Indeed, the stresses in our lives only seem to increase. So what can we do?

In her blog post, Fear(less) Leadership: How to Recalibrate Your Stress Response, Rebecca Heiss takes a novel approach to dealing with stress, by finding ways to (believe it or not) make it work for us. “Fear(less)” is the key word. So much stress is rooted in fear, whether it is getting everything done, forgetting a key detail, or your job security. Knowing how to deal with that fear is a way to deal with that challenge.

Heiss makes three main points:

  • Our Brains Aren’t Designed for Today’s World – Heiss notes our brains treat all threats no matter their source or complexity in the same way. We fall into the classic, freeze, flee, fight response. We see all three in the responses librarians are making to the book banning that keeps ramping up in the United States. I am sure there are some librarians who are in one of these modes even if there haven’t been challenges in their district. Most often, we hide our fear under a brave face and plunge in, much like an animal that bristles and growls when under attack. But the fear is still there and wears away inside us. To deal with that, Heiss says we need to understand “how our brains will interpret the risks initially and then taking the time to calculate the actual costs of both action and inaction in making the next move.” In other words – there isn’t a lion at the cave opening. You can find a way through this.
  • Stress can give your life more meaning – That sounds counterintuitive, but Heiss explains that successful leaders view the cause of the stress as an adventure. See it as a challenge that will lead you to new understanding and growth. Looking for and finding a positive response to stress is the way to find new solutions (the classic “thinking out of the box” or getting rid of the box entirely). Heiss reminds us that athletic records are broken in competition, not in practice. We need stress to succeed and exceed. Chemically, you produce the same hormones and neurotransmitters when you are stressed as when you are excited.
  • Perceive Your Stress as Opportunity – Looking more deeply into the concept of stress as an adventure, Heiss provides the “ABC’s” of how to do it:
    • A is for Awareness – Allow yourself three minutes to feel the stress. Don’t deny it’s there. That won’t work. Name it to face it.
    • B is for Breathe – This named stress isn’t going to kill you, so the freeze, flight, fright response is unnecessary. Take a couple of deep breaths and gain control of the cognitive part of your brain.
    • C is for Curiosity – Ask yourself some questions to get moving. This is the time to look at your Core Values. What are the ideas and beliefs that you hold most valuable? The ones you need to support. If you retreat from them, your stress will only increase. What is your Mission? Will your response to the stress advance them? Check in with your PLN to see who has done this and can help.

Stress is normal in life. The increased level of stress is the new normal. We can live in the fear it causes or start seeing it as an adventure. And look for ways to welcome others on the adventure by helping your teachers see stress in a new way. They need the help as well – and it will build your relationships.

Posted on by hildaweisburg

Building Resilience

Life has been throwing a lot at us for the past years. We got through the pandemic only to be faced, in America, with being the target of groups determined to censor books and demonize librarians all in the name of a political agenda. And that’s on top of the usual heavy demands of our job. We need to cultivate the talent of resilience if we are to survive.

According to the American Psychological Association, “Resilience is the process and outcome of successfully adapting to difficult or challenging life experiences, especially through mental, emotional, and behavioral flexibility and adjustment to external and internal demands.” The definition is an excellent description of the experiences librarians have been facing. How can you “successfully adapt” to it is the challenge.

Elena Aguilar provides the answer in her blog post, The Resilient Educator/ What Does a Resilient Educator Do? While there are just three tips, there are several steps as you work through them.

  • 1.      A Resilient Educator Reflects – With so much requiring your attention, it is natural to dive in and do what you seen needs to get done. Despite the pressure to get going, you will accomplish more if you build in a pause to reflect (see also my blog on the importance of taking time to review). What are you trying to achieve? Is this really the problem or is it a symptom? Aguilar recommends checking in with your Core Values. This is more likely to build your confidence in your actions. To make reflection work even better, do it regularly. Another of Aguilar’s tips is to put space for reflection in your calendar. Make this a priority. If there are others in your school you enjoy working with, consider holding a monthly meeting with colleagues for everyone to take this time.
  • A Resilient Educator Sets Boundaries – We need to know when enough is enough. Unless you know when to say, “no”, you will inevitably say “yes” to that proverbial straw. Just adding to your workload doesn’t create resilience – it’s more likely a step toward burnout. You need to know, set, and stick to your boundaries. What things are your hard/fast “no?” How do you preserve that time for self-care and/or family time? Just because we can doesn’t mean we have to be the one to do it. Aguilar rightly says, “Boundaries preserve our energy.”
  • A Resilient Educator Is Clear on What Matters Most – This is where your regular Reflection gets put into action. Using the Eisenhour Matrix, make what is “urgent and important” a priority. Recognizing what is “important but not immediately urgent” keeps you from overlooking that need. Being clear and not compromising on your hard/fast “no’s” prevent burnout. Remember your Core Values and your Mission and Vision. Is there a way to turn a challenge into an opportunity? If used properly, challenges allow you to think in new ways about your situation, what you are doing, and how you can do it differently.

Far too many librarians and teachers are burning out and leaving the profession. What is happening in your life might lead you that way, but taking time to reflect might offer insight into a better way to manage what you need to deal with. Finding a way to develop the resilience to stay and thrive is the target that will allow you to grow and thrive in your position for the long run.