Posted on by hildaweisburg

Quality Answers Require Quality Questions

Rhetorical questions are those with such obvious answers no one needs to respond. Simple questions get one word or even one syllable answers. If we want useful, useable answers, we need to ask better questions. Even if we fear a negative response. We cannot build the collaborative relationships we want or improve what we’re doing if we don’t ask questions that give us quality answers. Even if we don’t always like those answers.

Asking quality questions gives us information. “What would you want to do differently next time?” rather than “What did you think?”. If you’re in the midst of a project with students, ask “What was the hardest part of this so far?” In building a connection with your principal, ask, “What would you like to see changed about the library?” Here, you may want to get a little more specific based on your purpose is for this discussion.

In his article, Asking the right questions, Paul Thornton offers eight tips on how to ask questions that get quality answers. As he is addressing the business world, I will add my comments to show how to use the tips in our education world.

  1. Be clear about your purpose – Everyone, even students, are pressed for time and often under stress. Get to the point quickly. See the sample questions given above for suggestions on doing this.
  2. Prepare in advance – This is not the time for improvisation. Once you know the purpose you can decide what questions you plan to ask. In what order? Have them written down. Limit the number to no more than three and memorize them.
  3. Ask one question at a time – Whomever you are talking to needs time hear what you said and form an answer. And you need to be listening to each response. Your focus is on the information you are receiving, not rushing to ask your next question. Thornton reminds you not to ask rhetorical questions. You won’t get usable answers.
  4. Challenge assumptions – Whether you want students to think more critically, extend collaboration with a teacher, or enlighten a principal about how libraries have and need to change, we all carry a level of bias on what we think we know about the subject. Be clear about what you’re asking and don’t assume the basis/background of the answers you are being given.
  5. Connect ideas – Thornton says when asked properly and clearly, your questions will get your listener to gain new insights into whatever you are presenting. It will give them an opportunity. When it’s possible, connect the purpose of your questions (see the first item on the list) to your Mission Statement.
  6. Be comfortable with silence – If you want quality answers you need to allow people time to think. This goes back to Number Three. As you wait for the response, use the time to read body language to see where they are in the process. Giving people space and time to answer tells them you value their response.
  7. Encourage broad participation – With students, a pair/share exercise or having a group post their response on a whiteboard will allow you to see where the class is. With teachers, you might have them share several student projects in the library. A wider net gives you more answers and more information.
  8. Capture notes promptly – You want to have a record of what you were asking about and what the response was. Depending on whom you are talking to, it could be analog, digital, photo, or even a recording. In our fast-paced world, you could lose some information as you turn to the next thing. Give these answers the weight and time they deserve.

Improving the quality of your questions will help propel you forward in increasing the library’s value in the minds and behaviors of the populations you serve. What you learn in the process will be invaluable and further your growth as a leader.

Posted on by hildaweisburg

More Leadership Tips

Being a leader, as cliché as it might sound, is a journey, not a destination. Even though you already are a leader, there is always more to learn. As librarians, being lifelong learners comes naturally to us. However, we must always be on the lookout for new places and spaces to learn from.

In this blog, I frequently bring in leadership lessons from the business world. A few weeks ago, I even posted a reference to how Taylor Swift can be a leadership role model for us. Today, I’m returning to Smart Briefs and the article, “Adaptive leadership: How women can lead through uncertainty” from Maria Doughty who shares about leading when “life gets ambiguous.” Although the title says it’s targeted to women, men will find these suggestions equally helpful. You may be doing several of these, but there is always something new you can use.

Here are her eight tips along with my comments on how these relate to school librarianship.

  1. Define goals and stay focused – Just as it is in the business world, our priority is our Mission and Vision. By now you hopefully have both, but when whenever you are feeling uncertain, it’s a good time to review them and see if they need tweaking or expanding.
  2. Be nimble and be ready – Necessity has made us experts at pivoting. What worked yesterday, might not work tomorrow. Stay alert. Read professional journals. In addition to school library ones such as Knowledge Quest (KQ) from the American Association of School Librarians (AASL), your reading should include EL (Educational Leadership) from the Association of Supervisors and Curriculum Developers (ASCD). Keep current with what might be next in technology through ISTE (International Society of Technology in Education) starting with their numerous blog posts.
  3. Stay calm and lead with empathy – This can be challenging to do given the current political and politicized climate and how it impacts school libraries and librarians. But panic doesn’t lead to rational decisions. Breathe. Ask: Who in the school community is also stressed out? Your principal? Teachers? How can you support them? Then stop to consider who can support you? Parents are one important source, particularly if you prepared for this possibility by establishing communication channels with them. Teachers may be as well. Even older students have also proved they can be strong advocates for the school library and you.
  4. Project strength — and vulnerability – While sounding like opposites, they can work well together. Project strength by leaning into the areas where you feel confident. Draw on your values and how capable you are at teaching students what they need to know for today and tomorrow. Teachers are also feeling the effects of the political climate. Let them know you understand and what you are doing to not let it keep you from bringing your best. Share the resources from our national library professional associations and take the opportunity to learn from theirs.
  5. Stay curious and commit to learning – As I stated at the beginning, a commitment to learning is natural for us. Avoid getting so concerned about what is happening in your school that you don’t see the very big picture. Keep aware of what other industries are doing – schools, colleges, and beyond. Notice where you might be prone to tunnel vision about changes, such as AI. Look for where you can adapt and grow.
  6. Maintain inclusivity and engagement – Everyone is busy, but the more people work together – and with the library – the more interwoven you are with your audience. Consider hosting an after school coffee and chat (with snacks if possible!) for teachers to share ideas across disciplines with each other. Perhaps you can schedule something for parents such as students sharing their recent projects. This has the advantage of allowing students to show their growth as they discuss what was the toughest part of the project, what was the best part, and what did they learn.
  7. Take care of yourself – I can’t stress this often enough. These leadership tips take time and energy. Growing, learning and changing isn’t easy. You need TLC to keep going. Whatever relaxes you and/or gives you pleasure – make time for it!
  8. Find your tribe -As Doughty says, “you don’t need to have all the answers yourself.” This is where your Professional Learning Network (PLN) is a great resource. The hive mind invariably can give you the answer as well as new ideas to try. Ask the scary questions. You never know who else is having this challenge or who may have found a solution.

We are living in challenging times. Yes, that’s another cliché that is all too true. You can let it break you, or you can grow as a result of how you lead yourself and others through. Your growth sets an example for others. The future of our students depends on us rising to the challenge and being the leaders they and the rest of our school community need us to be.

Posted on by hildaweisburg

Thriving In Challenging Times

It feels like we have been living in challenging times for so long the phrase has become commonplace. Stress is so high, surviving might be the chief goal, making thriving seem like a fantasy. But we can’t afford that. If survival is the goal, we are likely to be swept away by the rising tide of our current political climate, and bad times don’t deserve our surrender.

Our students and teachers need more than our survival – and so do we.  Nina Snyder turns to a surprising role model to emulate in her blog post How to Run Your Business Like Taylor Swift. You are not running a business, but as my comments show, the five lessons work for us. And who couldn’t use a little more Taylor Swift in their lives:

Know your customer – Ours are the students, teachers, and the administrators. It’s also parents who are keeping an ever-watchful eye on school libraries, and the general public. What do they want?  What do they need? Students want to do well and not be bored or worried about grades. They need choice and voice. Teachers want relief. They need help as they are feeling overworked and overly scrutinized. Principals want to present a well-run, high achieving school. They need evidence that is happening.  Parents want their children to be successful. They need evidence to know the library is not harming them but rather preparing their children for today and tomorrow. The public wants a good school system because it makes for a desirable community that attracts people to the community.

 Pivot before it’s required – Times keep changing. New technologies emerge, as do new threats. In order to be ready to modify your strategy, you need to stay ahead of the game. Reading journals and articles you get as an ALA/AASL and AECT/ISTE member lets you know the latest in education, including what the administrators are thinking. Work with the public library. The youth services librarian may have a closer ear to the community than you do. Check in with your Professional Learning Network (PLN) for ideas and to learn what’s happening in other locations. It will give you a heads up. Reading the local newspaper or website for clues into what the community is thinking. Follow the towns social media. Shop occasionally in the town where you work so you can hear what customers are talking about.

Embrace authenticity – Be honest. Don’t abandon your core professional and personal values. That can be frightening today. Draw on the support offered by our professional associations. They offer resources to help in presenting what you stand for.  When you step away from what matters to you, you can’t be as confident about the work you do, and you don’t feel good about yourself.

Focus on your strengths – Most of you have strong tech skills. Use them to promote your program. Showcase student accomplishments, acknowledging the teachers involved on your library website. In addition to your regular reports to your principal, send photos and brief information after a successful project is completed. Consider writing a column for the local paper or school website on “Happenings in the School Library.”

Keep communicating – Most of the four ideas included communication. Misinformation abounds. We need to get in there first to share what is actually happening in the school library. Communication powers relationship. Relationship builds trust. Trust becomes advocacy. We need all the supporters we can get.

You can thrive even in challenging times. In fact, I believe this so much that my next book, (coming February 2026) https://www.routledge.com/The-Involved-School-Librarian-How-to-Increase-Your-Impact-and-Thrive/Weisburg/p/book/9781041088080, will support you in this endeavor. For now, some final advice from Taylor (the titles, not the lyrics): “You Need to Calm Down”, “Shake It Off” and be “Gorgeous!”

Posted on by hildaweisburg

Tips for Managing the Library Classroom

As every school librarian knows, managing the library classroom is not the same as managing a typical classroom. Not only do students not come to the library on a daily or even a weekly basis, in some cases, but you have to add in the fact that the kids don’t see you as their real teacher. You can see where it becomes challenging. Plus, you have the ongoing possibility of drop-ins.

What is needed is a Classroom Management plan that encompasses all that happens in the library, ties into your Mission and Vision, and is cognizant of unforeseen circumstances cropping up. You need to keep yourself centered to manage it and make it a vital part of the school community. A tall order.

In Confident Classroom Management. A. Keith Young offers four tips for the traditional classroom. I have adapted to make them work for you.

  1. Let Each Day Start Fresh – Focus on today. Yesterday is over. Take time to review why something went off track yesterday or why it worked. Next, come up with a strategy to keep it from happening again or find a way to repeat it. Once you have your positive mindset in place—especially important after a tough day—move forward. Greet students with a smile and welcoming comments, even the ones who caused a conflict of some type on their last visit. Reset the tone for today.
  2. Maintain Relationships Separate from Behavior – This is not easy. We have a tendency to be wary when a frequent troublemaker comes in. A focused positive comment is vital here. Choose an article of clothing, hairstyle or some other personal connection for your comment. It will signal to the student that you are not holding onto what happened last time. Talk to the person, not the action.
  3. Redirect with Calm, Neutral Phrases – When a student acts up, rather than telling them to stop, ask a question related to the topic at hand without indicating the student is off track and not behaving appropriately. Offer an approving comment when they respond positively. If the student continues to be disruptive you can hand them paper and pencil and suggest they write what is upsetting them. Or you can ask if they need time away from the group. Each of these give the student agency to resettle themselves and allows you to remain focused.
  4. Conduct Social Audits for Better Interactions – While much easier to do in a typical classroom, you can incorporate it into your strategy, particularly with students who repeatedly have problems in the library. Young suggests you “guide students through reviewing a situation that occurred, identifying missteps, and outlining future actions—(then) offers clear and precise empathetic direction.” You will likely not have time to do this while the class is in session. Instead, have step-by-step directions for them doing it. Tell them to ask you for help if they have difficulties answering the questions. Also, consult with the class teacher and the guidance counselor for advice on dealing with this student. Working together my have a much bigger impact

Incorporate these four steps into your personal lesson plans, different from what you might submit to your principal. The more frequently you put it this management into effect, the more natural it will become to you. As a leader and school librarian in difficult times, it’s more important than ever for your library not to become a problem for the administration or add to the challenges of teachers. Instead, demonstrate every day how the library contributes to the success of students and teachers.

Posted on by hildaweisburg

Four Lessons for Leaders

What have you learned as a leader? How have you grown from your first position, where you probably weren’t even thinking about leading, to the librarian you are today? And if you are in your first year, what steps in your leadership journey are you taking and looking forward to?

Because leadership is a journey, not a destination. Successes, setbacks, struggles. And we can learn from them all – especially the parts that didn’t go as planned. As the great pitcher, Christie Mathewson said, “You can little from victory. You can learn everything from defeat.”

As school years begin again, take some time to reflect on your leadership journey. What worked, what didn’t. What turned out even better than expected. What had hidden lessons. Fred Ende, director of curriculum and instructional Services for Putnam/Northern Westchester BOCES in Yorktown Heights, N.Y. did just that.  In is blog article, Lessons Learned After 25 Years as an Educator, these four are the result of his introspection—with my comments as usual.

Trust your intuition – This will likely be a challenge for the first year or two, but the longer you are a school librarian the more you learn. The experiences, good and bad, improve your instincts for understanding what the people you work with need and want; this includes students as well as teachers and administrators. Time helps you refine your ability to read communication clues including body language and tone.

Change won’t happen if it isn’t led – Being a leader means being willing to step out of your comfort zone and bringing new things to your school. You might launch a new program or incorporate and teach new technologies. You’ll step up and explain your idea or plan to your principal, introduce it to teachers and students, and integrate it into your program. Be mindful of teachers’ and administrators’ hesitancy or outright unwillingness and address it as part of the change. People like doing what they know. Change is scary. Show them the benefits and lead them there.

Give people the work they want to do – Ende is referring to what he learned as district administrator. You offer a different environment than the classroom. This gives you different options. With students it means you are mindful of different learning styles. Your give them voice and choice within a lesson. With teachers you manage collaborations so you do the heavy lifting, but they get to bring what they like to do. It might be introducing the lesson or designing its structure in a way that they like, while still incorporating choice and voice for students.

Let it go – When we believe we are right, we can waste time trying to convince someone else they are wrong. It doesn’t work that way. Truthfully, that doesn’t work at all and can even hurt the relationships we’re trying to build. As Ende says, “We can’t control everything, and why would we want to? In fact, we often learn even more from acceptance and then working to make less-than-ideal situations better for all involved. Since we only know our situations, we have to be willing to believe that everyone wants what is best for learners.”

So, take a moment and ask yourself what have you learned as a leader? Even if this was you first year, you have learned more than you might realize.  Make this a start and an end of the year practice. You will give yourself direction and then be surprised at how much you have grown – and be ready for the next school year.

Posted on by hildaweisburg

Listening as a Leadership Skill

When you think of the skills a leader needs, you are apt to identify vision, planning, and decision-making among a host of others. You not likely to mention listening, and yet it is one of the most important skills you need to have and keep developing. In my forthcoming book, The Involved School Librarian, listening is one of the final three “attributes” I say are necessary in order to be a fully involved school librarian. The three being Listener, Learner, and Leader.

 Listeners use a variety of channels as they learn what their communities want and need as well as what is new and forthcoming. What they learn they then apply in leading their library program so it becomes an ever-increasing value to those they serve. When people notice you listen, they are more likely to come to you for support.

In their article What Principals Can Learn From Pope Leo XIV’s Leadership Approach, Michael Nelson and Pete DeWitt present a five-part model for what it takes to be a great leader. Their ideas resonate with us since this article is from the EdWeek.org site, but I have added comments to address what school librarians need.

Listen, Understand, and Act – This gets to the heart of listening as a core leadership skill. If you make assumptions about what your community needs based on what you know, you are apt to overlook what teachers and students really want. According to the authors, research shows that when people feel you are listening to them, it builds relationships. And we always need to be relationship builders. Once you understand what your community really wants and needs you can act to bring your library forward.

Listening Is Strategic, Not Passive – We generally see listening as automatic and something we don’t need to think about, but studies have shown that when we use it actively, it’s more powerful. Be present, be aware. Then, what you have learned from listening gives you the knowledge to construct a strategic plan tied to your Vision and take more directed and connected steps to living your Mission.

Equity Begins With Who We Listen To – This was a new concept for me. Do you ignore criticisms from those you see as negative or with whom you don’t agree? You may be missing some key truths because of your (unintentional) bias. Are you ignoring students who say, “Why do we have to learn this?” or “This is stupid!” Just because you don’t like their complaint doesn’t mean they have a point. Listen to their reasons for saying this and you may learn something important.

From Listening to Collective Action and Joint Work – When you build relationships and trust, people (including students) are more likely to work with you. You can collaborate on curricular units and even build new programs together. And Collaborate is one of the Shared Foundations in AASL’s National School Library Standards.

Leading With Intention – As Nelson and DeWitt say, “Listening is the work. It is what allows leaders to act with intention.” Listening gives you important information that you can use to strengthen all aspects of your library, from collection choices to software needs to an advocacy committee.

Your skills as an active listener are central to your ability to be a great leader. Active listening is a skill you need to work on every day. I know I do. When we’re bursting with excitement about our latest idea, we don’t listen to the people we are speaking with. The better you get at listening the better leader you will be. And then you’ll have people as excited about your ideas as you are.

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Start at the End to Gain Support

TLDR. Have you come across this acronym? It stands for “too long; didn’t read.” It’s a warning given by the author, frequently followed by a summary, if they are concerned people might skip what was written. We are flooded with information without enough time to take it all in. You must have heard someone say, “Get to the point already?” Or said it yourself on occasion.

So what’s the solution?

Share your point – your end – at the beginning. When you make your point early, people know where you are heading and have a reason to focus quickly. We tend to build our argument to show why approving it is important and make the “ask” at the end. John Millen in his blog The Biggest Presentation Mistake Smart People Make explains why this approach rarely works and how to reverse the sequence of your requests.

These are his four steps with my usual connections to our school world:

  • Flip It: Start with the bottom line – Millen observes if you start at the end, even if people don’t have time to read the full message, they know what your point is. Think about wanting your principal to approve a project. You tend to build toward that idea, showing how well thought out your proposal is. Your principal is pressed for time. If you start at the end, letting them know what you want to accomplish, they are going to be listening for your arguments even if their first reaction is to reject it.
  • Executives think inductively – This is true for all decision makers. They are as much under stress as the rest of us, maybe more. But putting your ask first, your focus becomes: What I am proposing; three reasons why and how I will do it, and, finally, what questions do you have about it? Simple and fast. I have always recommended you keep meetings with your principal brief. This is how to do it.
  • Data builds credibility. Clarity builds influence. – We are so accustomed to “showing the data” we forget it needs to be put in an understandable context. Give the context – the result – first. Then share keep the data short and clear, using language that is understood by the listener. Millen recommends the order of information should be:
    • What’s the problem?
    • What’s your recommendation?
    • Why should they care?
  • A simple shift, a big payoff – Move more a deductive approach to giving information to an inductive approach. For example, instead of talking to you principal about genrefication like this: “I have been reading about the success many libraries have had by genrefying their fiction collection.” Use an inductive approach starts with showing a benefit to students and say, “I want to arrange the fiction collection by genres, allowing students to find books by subjects and focus rather than solely by author to help them get what they need quicker.” The difference is striking.

Millen concludes by reminding us to give listeners “the point, not the process.” Most recommendations and ideas are turned down because our audience got lost in all the information we offered, and they lost a connection to the outcome.

Don’t forget to try this with students, so they know from the beginning how your instruction will help them, and with teachers, so they immediately see the benefit of a collaboration. Even with presentations, if you give your audience the end results, they will remain more engaged in your topic to see how to get there. Start with the end in mind and you will lead your audience to the goal you’ve set.

Posted on by hildaweisburg

Humility as a Superpower

Humility: A modest or low view of one’s importance. Humbleness. Freedom from pride or arrogance.

What was your first thought when seeing the title for this blog? Was it confusion? Understandable because it sounds counterintuitive. I write and present often about leadership and discuss power. So where does humility fit in? In a world where rampant ego is projected as a superpower and proof of leadership, humility seems to lurk in the shadows, frequently associated with religious values.

And yet… there is more to humility in good leaders and leadership than you think. In Humility as a Psychological Task for Leaders, Dr. Paul J Dunion describes humility as a hidden treasure and identifies the five tasks necessary and then lists the benefits. These are the tasks he gives along with my suggestions for how we might incorporate them into our leadership:

  1. Gaining comfort with one’s limits – None of us are perfect. We all have strengths and weaknesses. Know both. When you accept that you have weaknesses, you can ask for help in those areas. I am a big picture person and tend to overlook what seems like obvious details. I usually check with someone who can help me see what I missed.
  2. An increased acceptance of their imperfection – It’s embarrassing when we notice we’ve made a mistake or overlooked something. But this is both normal and acceptable. Dunion says those who have “exaggerated expectations of achievements (get) caught in striving for perfection.” And since that’s unachievable, it becomes exhausting and detrimental to success.
  3. Radical accountability – Admitting mistakes is hard. It can make you feel you aren’t good enough. One form of accountability is accepting and owning the mistakes you make. A second, which Dunion recommends, is to practice gratitude instead for all the help you have received and for the help you will need in the future.
  4. A heartfelt commitment to be rightsized – Too often, we try to project we don’t have weakness because we want to appear confident in dealing with the increasing demands of our jobs. Don’t inflate yourself, your abilities or your accomplishments to keep up with expectations. Neither should you downplay and make what you have done smaller as a way to not be noticed. Either will get you in trouble down the line. Being rightsized is “a measure of (your) competencies, (your) shortcomings, and the true nature of (your) achievements.”
  5. A capacity to appreciate and acknowledge the strengths and accomplishments of others– It doesn’t make you “less” when you acknowledge what someone else has accomplished. If you acknowledge a teacher, you are likely to build or strengthen your relationship and role as a leader. When it’s a librarian who has done something special, that person can possibly help you achieve the same.

And here are his Benefits:

  • Leaders can access a capacity to offer inclusivity, empathy, and inspiration – Which is how we want to be with our students and teachers.
  • Leaders begin to experience a refined sense of security as their limits and mistakes are welcome – Having acknowledged you aren’t always right, makes mistakes unthreatening.
  • Leaders experience a deepened sense of being trustworthy – No matter how you try to hide mistakes, they are recognized by others (and yourself). Being honest about mistakes build trust.
  • Humility allows leaders to be less competitive with colleagues and more able to acknowledge and appreciate their strengths – Honestly knowing your strengths – and weaknesses helps you see more realistically.
  • As humble leaders are honest and define themselves as okay with their shortcomings, their cultures take on more psychological safety – It makes it easier for your colleagues and students to acknowledge their mistakes making everyone feel safer.

You have a big job and many people need you. Don’t try to be perfect. Accept your limits along with your achievements. Work on giving your best and continuing to be the lifelong learners you are as a librarian.

Posted on by hildaweisburg

Lead With Grace

Grace as a leadership tool? Yes!

The word “grace” is usually associated with religious practices, but it goes beyond that and used properly, it can deepen your leadership ability. One of the many definitions of “grace” given by Merriam-Webster is “the quality or state of being considerate or thoughtful.” With that in mind, it is easy to see grace-based leadership as a natural outgrowth of the recently popular concept of servant leadership, which is about leading from a place of being clear on who and how you wanted to serve.

While the business world struggles to incorporate either or both of these leadership styles, they are natural to school librarians and the work we do. Even as the pressures on teachers and librarians grow, bringing grace into our lives (treat ourselves) and our leadership (treat others) is very powerful and has the potential to have a huge impact..

In her blog article, Short fuses, high stakes: An argument for grace-based leadership, Julie Winkle Giulioni says that Grace-based leadership is  “the ability to meet people where they are — with patience, understanding and compassion — while still upholding clear expectations and accountability.” She then offers six practices to incorporate in your daily interactions. Giulioni is speaking to the business world, so I have tweaked these to match our world. Keep in mind these apply when working with all of your audiences: students, teachers, administrators, volunteers, parents, and more:

  1. Make space for humanity – Due dates matter but so do people. Pressures abound. Recognize these feelings as you deal with students, teachers, administrators – and yourself. Things will be late, mistakes will be made. It’s part of the process.
  2. Assume positive intent – Jumping to conclusions is easy, particularly in stressful times, but it only exacerbates the problem. There usually is a reason for someone’s anger/frustration/challenge. Be curious as to what is driving the negativity rather than making judgements. Come from a place of “they’re doing their best” and you’ll have a different perspective and response.
  3. Respond rather than react – It is natural to respond with hostility when someone directs a negative emotion at you. Remember to pause and breathe. It will lower your temperature and blood pressure, allowing you to give a more reasoned response and give you a chance to do the first two steps (space for humanity and assuming positive intent).
  4. Honor multiple realities – We know from the political climate, we aren’t going to be able to convince someone who holds an opposite position that your belief is correct. As librarians we serve the whole school community, even (may especially) those we don’t agree with. Find a common ground among your differences.  It is part of how your build relationships.
  5. Offer “soft landings” for hard truths – This is particularly helpful with students as Giulioni says to frame “feedback respectfully, focusing on behaviors and results.” It also applies when you need to explain to a teacher or administrator why you want to tweak their plan. People don’t want to hear ‘no’. Find a better way to share what you have to say.
  6. Hold people capable, not just accountable – Part of your feedback should recognize the other person’s abilities and strengths. It’s also knowing they have a “Why” for what they did or didn’t to that is as important to them as yours is to you.

Giulioni adds these three suggestions on how to Grow in grace which I am quoting directly:

  • Use curious language (“Help me understand…”) instead of accusatory language (“Why did you…”).
  • After a mistake, lead with support first (“What do you need to get back on track?” or “How can I help?”) before jumping to blame.
  • Share your learning moments openly. Modeling self-grace normalizes growth and reduces fear.

And when practicing grace, remember to offer it to yourself because you deserve at much as everyone around you. Leaders need to be gentle with themselves just as they offer this to those around them.

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Leaders Show They Care

Watch the news the news or scroll through social media and it’s quickly clear that everyone is feeling stressed, overworked, and underappreciated. As librarians, we not only feel, but are actually under attack as well. Our jobs, our collections, our programs are under some intense scrutiny. Fortunately, there’s an unexpected tool that can help – Caring.

Sometimes the best way to deal with the negative emotions is by helping others. Our students need their teachers and librarians to bring our best selves each day, no matter how difficult. When we start by remembering how important and impactful the work we do is, we can tap into the power of connection.

In her blog article, The duty of care: How leaders can anchor teams in turbulent times,  Julie Winkle Giulioni presents seven ways to show caring in the business world. Here they are her seven, along with my adjustments for their application to the school setting.

  1. Benevolence– Make time to know what others value, what they care about in their school and personal life. Your interest in them opens the door to sharing and easing a burden they were carrying on their own.
  2. Trust – As I have often said, trust is the foundation of relationship, and as a leader you must build these relationships. Trust can come from keeping your word as well as keeping confidences. What a teacher may have shared with you is not one for you to share with others unless you have been given permission.
  3. Respect – Giulioni says this is about how you listen. Listening is a core skill in leadership.

You honor the other person’s journey and don’t jump to judgement if you don’t agree with their path.

  • Empathy – When teachers allowed you in on their worry and pain, let them know you care. You can share a similar pain, but don’t try to top theirs.  This isn’t a contest.
  • Communication – You show your caring by how you speak to students, teachers and, yes, administrators. According to Giulioni, you do so by welcoming their perspective and accepting their emotions. I would add the importance of tuning it to what is communicated in their body language. People sometimes mask their emotions on their faces, but you can often pick up what they are feeling by the way they are standing and subconscious hand movements. Pick up on these and ask about them if you notice something isn’t right.
  • Vulnerability – In this case, it doesn’t refer to over-sharing. Giulioni says it means admitting when you don’t know everything and when you have made mistakes. We are all human. Show your human side. It give others the space to do the same.
  • Support – You are in this for the long haul. It isn’t a one-time thing. Follow up on your conversations. Ask how things are going when you know there’s been a problem. Offer to help if they need it.

We are going through tough times, but I have always held on to the mantra, “This will change.” Nothing stays the same. Bad times become better, and good times go bad. But even when we can’t control what happens, we can control how we deal with it. What you do now will impact your relationships when times get better. Stay connected with people. In the words of Theodore Roosevelt, “Nobody cares how much you know, until they know how much you care.” Leaders care about others.