When I was growing up, I assiduously read my horoscope in the newspaper. Heading up the daily forecasts for the astrological signs was the phrase, “The stars impel; they do not compel.” Reading the words every day, I absorbed the message without thinking. I have recently recognized in many ways the phrase has shaped my life.
I was in a good situation working as a librarian in a school district for 22 years. I was respected and was secure in my job. Then my supportive school superintendent announced she was going to retire in two years, giving the Board of Education the chance to find her replacement. I looked into what might occur if I stayed.
I had an antagonistic relationship with my principal, but always had the backing of the outgoing superintendent. Without that, my professional life was going to be more confrontational. I also suspected (correctly as it turned out) that he would become the superintendent in the near future. I immediately started job hunting and found a new position.
My colleagues were shocked. Educators don’t choose to leave a district where they have tenure. I regretted the loss of my sick days and nothing else. I finished up my library career working in a wonderful district where I had an even better situation and was completely happy.
We can let life happen to us, accepting it and complaining about it. Or we can take charge. Make our own choices and risk being responsible for them. It may be scary but it’s empowering.
No one gets through life without bumps, challenges, and often very worrisome events. Some have it worse than other, but all of us at some point or another feel as though the anvil that always landed on Wiley Coyote had been dropped on our heads. You can’t control the anvil. You can control what you do about it.
Complaining, blaming the universe, or others for your woes may free you from the responsibility of stepping out of your comfort zone to do something about it, but it won’t make you feel any better. And living that way will only make you feel worse. To be in charge of your life you must make conscious choices.
With those choices comes risks. We tend to avoid risk becomes it comes with the potential for failure. For having your choice or plan not working. What will you do them? The answer is – make another choice. Take on another risk.
More often than not you will find your risk paid off. Sometimes not in the way you thought, but still bringing you benefits you wouldn’t have thought of. And it’s empowering to be in charge of your life.
Taking greater chances is part of being an adult – and actively participating in your life. Parents tend to shield children from problems. The cocoon of childhood is a safe place to grow. But inevitably one must grow or be a child forever.
I lead everywhere in my life. As I grew through adolescence and early adulthood, I never thought I was a leader. But when confronted with adversity, I chose to step up. Becoming accustomed to making hard choice prepare me for taking on new challenges.
Eventually, I put myself forward in areas that had important meaning for me. Each step led to bigger ones. One day I looked around and discovered I was being recognized as a leader. And it was exhilarating. I like who I am. I regularly face new challenges – and fears. The fear doesn’t go away, but I trust myself and those around me to get through whatever it is. I, too, have become the architect of my life. And it’s a wonderful building.