Posted on by hildaweisburg

ON LIBRARIES – Are You a People-Pleaser?

From https://livelearnwrite.com/2016/10/13/how-being-a-people-pleaser-can-effect-your-future/

Or do you please people?  There is a big difference between the two, and it’s not just semantics. The second is a successful leader. By contrast, it’s impossible to be a leader and a people-pleaser.  It may seem as though it’s the safest approach to ensure your position won’t be eliminated, but the opposite is more probable.

There are numerous websites on the characteristics, qualities, and results of people-pleasing. Most of us don’t fall into the full spectrum of people-pleasing as described by psychologists, but too many incorporate aspects of it into work behavior.  Reviewing what is discussed, look to see if you notice patterns that reflect some of your behaviors.

Jay Earley lists the following actions in The People-Pleasing Pattern:

  • I avoid getting angry.
  • I try to be nice rather than expressing how I really feel.
  • I want everyone to get along.

What’s wrong with avoiding being angry or wanting everyone to get along? Doesn’t it make for a better workplace environment? Isn’t that using your Emotional Intelligence? Not exactly.

Emotional Intelligence does require you to manage your emotions, which means getting to the reason for your anger and dealing with it to achieve your goals. Suppressing your feelings means you are making your emotions and yourself less important than those around you.  That is not leadership – or healthy.

The underlying truth to your behavior may be another of Earley’s characteristics—you are afraid to rock the boat, a fear frequently based on the concern that your job and program might be cut. However, you are most in danger of being eliminated if you don’t show your value and being a quiet doormat does not demonstrate value.

Consider what happens if your principal assigns you extra duties or you are told you will be responsible for two schools instead of one. What do you do?  Even though your principal might blame it on the budget situation, should you just accept it as is?

The people-pleasing response is to accept without any comment. This subtly sends the message that it’s no problem for you to take on the extra responsibility.  Which then suggests you have plenty of room in your schedule.  Taking that to the next stop, if you have plenty of room in your schedule, doesn’t that mean that your program doesn’t keep you busy?

If you responded this way, you are not alone.  Many librarians have done the same.  The simmering resentment can then affect how they do their job and their willingness/ability to build a relationship with their administration.  You don’t get to be a leader if that’s how you react.

I am not suggesting you get angry with your principal.  Obviously, you can’t ignore what you are being told to do.  But you can react in a way that will please people – including yourself.

Start by making a list of all your responsibilities.  Take some time to ensure you have identified almost all of them.  As much as possible, do a fair estimation of how much time you spend on each on a daily or weekly basis.   Star anything you definitely don’t want eliminated because it is at the core of your program. In addition, try to determine a fair estimate of the amount of time your additional assignment will take.

Next, set up a meeting with your principal seeking his/her advice and guidance. Explain you want to be sure the students and teachers will be getting the necessary literacy and 21st-century skills after the change in your schedule goes into effect.  Review your list of responsibilities, current and combined. Be clear that some things will have to be eliminated, and you want to have the principal’s agreement as to how to proceed. Also, realize you will have to go along with whatever the principal says you can stop doing.

Yes, you still have the change in your responsibilities, but recognize the difference in how they came about.  You didn’t quietly accept it.  You expressed your concerns, current program needs, and possible sacrifices to the person most able to support you (complaining to coworkers and spouses changes nothing). Your principal had to face the cost of your new assignment.  In the process, he/she was reminded of your value and contribution to the school program.  Managing the request this way will likely leave you with a much greater sense of satisfaction since you have not acted in a people-pleasing manner.

In your dealings with teachers and administrators, you don’t and shouldn’t quietly accept negation of your role while seething inside.  Leaders stand up for their worth.  They don’t do it aggressively.  That loses supporters.  They do it with calm confidence, offering alternatives. We teach people how to treat us.  If you say nothing in response to being minimized, you give that person the right to repeat that behavior.

One of my students in a summer course told me the principal had contacted her to say he was cutting her budget in half, and she needed to eliminate some purchase orders. He added, “I have always been good to you in the past.”  I told her, she could have said, “I saw it as being good for our students and our program, and then laughingly continued if you were being good to me, you would have given me a BMW.”

How have you handled being given additional long or short-term assignments or other changes which were given to you? Were you a people-pleaser or did you figure out a way to please people and show your leadership?

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Posted on by hildaweisburg

ON LIBRARIES – To Be Valued and Valuable

the-future-starts-todayThe libraries, librarians, students and teachers of tomorrow — need you NOW.

I have been writing for school librarians since 1979.  I have been speaking and presenting to them for almost as long. Many would say those first years –1980’s and 1990’s – were a golden age for school librarians.  Certainly we weren’t seeing librarians being eliminated, but the times weren’t perfect and many of the seeds of today’s challenges were planted then.

While this look at the past may seem laden with doom and gloom, hang on.  There is light at the end of the tunnel.  You can and must be part of the change. Yes, you are part of that light.

Articles in the early issues of School Librarian’s Workshop dealt with budget constraints.  Libraries still got money, but it was often cut.  Principals saw that large chunk of funds as a source for some of their pet projects.  And how did the librarians respond?  They complained to their fellow librarians.  “Woe is me. My principal doesn’t see the importance of the library program.”library-closed

Sound familiar? I would give a workshop at a state conference—usually my home state—and invariably one or more librarians would tell me, “My principal has no idea what I do.”  There is a connection between an administrator having no idea of what you do and not recognizing the importance of the library program. But too many librarians didn’t want to undertake more work to change perceptions.

Time and again, I was told by elementary librarians, “I am needed because I provide teachers with their contractual duty-free period.” The unsaid message was, “my position is secure.”  I would respond that times change and so do contracts.  The answer mostly fell on deaf ears.  These same librarians would also complain that teachers dropped their class off and came back to pick students up without caring about what happened during the “library period.”  “They think of me as a babysitter.”  Yet, the librarians did nothing pro-active to raise teacher awareness.

perceptionAt the high school level, more librarians had staff and reasonable budgets, but these were cut on occasion as well.  Teachers who liked libraries and had a project would bring their classes in. Some of them worked with the librarian.  So in a typical high school, English and History classes were likely to be the only ones who ever used the library.

High school librarians had rules.  I know of one situation where the two librarians would not schedule all the sections a teacher had for the same day. Too much work.  They only permitted teachers who gave them a copy of the students’ assignment to be sure the period wouldn’t be used to give the teacher a break.  Students were allowed in the library at lunch only if they had work to do.

This is not what school libraries are like to today, but this is what they were like for a long time and what teachers saw.  Librarians had a cushy job. A number of those teachers went on to be administrators.  They took their perceptions of the librarian and the school library program with them.

In 1997, Gary Hartzell wrote a two-part article for School Library Journal on “The Invisible Librarian.”  He pointed to the omission of the role of librarians in teacher training, the absence of librarians in many professional organizations, and the difficulty in measuring the value of librarians contributions. There was general agreement with Hartzell’s views.  Librarians saw it as confirmation that they were ignored and one positive result emerged.  Library researchers began investigating the contributions of a library program and developed ways to measure them. Those studies continue being made today. steve-martin

Unfortunately, most administrators and lawmakers don’t seem to care—or even know about them. They remember the librarians from their early career.  Sure they would have continued library programs and kept librarians, but then the economic crisis hit.  School budgets were slashed.  Time to cut the expendable and not vital. Library programs were a logical place to begin.

In the slashing of programs, many wonderful librarians with outstanding programs were eliminated.  We are all still reeling from how quickly we lost so much.  But bemoaning the past doesn’t get us anywhere. We need to learn from it and use the current scene as an opportunity to emerge better than ever.

The big lesson is, if the school community doesn’t know who you are, what you do, and why it is unique, they won’t value you.  If your principal doesn’t know what you do, how can he or she be expected to see you as vital to student learning and helping teachers teach their students critical thinking and the host of other information literacy skills which are integral to what we do?  You must always find creative ways to let your administrators know about student projects and activities you developed in collaboration, cooperation, or conjunction with teachers.

because-of-youYou must make your presence known.  It’s imperative that you step out of your comfort zone and become a leader in your building.  By working with teachers, helping make their jobs easier, showing them how to integrate tech into their lessons, you become invaluable to them.  They know what you do and want more of it.

Serve on building and district communities to show how you contribute. And finally, you must help other librarians in your district be leaders as well.  The past has shown us it’s not enough for one of you to be great.  The broom sweeps out everything at once.

You must do whatever you can to build that advocacy program.  Get ideas from the AASL Health and Wellness Toolkit. Look for programs on leadership and advocacy at your state association’s conference.  Re-read the blog from two weeks ago on mentorship—and become one.

And if you need an incentive, think of Elizabeth Warren’s quote: “If you aren’t at the table, you are probably on the menu.”

How are you demonstrating leadership? How are you building more leaders? How are you contributing to the future of school libraries?