Can you hear me now? A familiar question when one is presenting and you’re worried if there’s a problem with the equipment. But the question is even more important when we are communicating with others. Active listening builds trust, and, as you know, trust is the foundation of relationships which we need with students, teachers, administrators and more.

Communication consists of three parts: the sender, the message, and the receiver. Once the message reaches the receiver, the process is reversed. The receiver becomes the sender, a new message is sent, and the former sender is now the receiver. When this works perfectly, the parties involved get and give the necessary information. However, all too often, there is static on the line affecting one or more of the three parts. By learning to be an active listener you eliminate or at least minimize this static.

In his blog article Why Active Listening May Be the Most Underrated Leadership Skill, John Mattoneprovides six steps to ensure you are really listening. Here are his recommendations, along with my comments on how it plays out in our library world:

1. Listening Fully – This seems obvious, but Mattone explains this means, “giving your complete attention, reducing personal bias, and processing what the speaker intends to communicate.” You probably are seeing the problem already. In your overly busy day, you have multiple demands coming at you almost simultaneously. Also consider Mattone’s reference to reducing personal bias. Is the student always a pest, nitpicking details to delay getting to work? Is the teacher one who invariably rejects all your help? (Maybe that’s because you aren’t listening fully?) No matter the sender or the method, it is vital that you fully listen to the message you are being given. While it is most apparent in your verbal communication, your emails and texts also need your attention.
2. Observing Nonverbal Cues – We communicate on the subconscious level in our nonverbal cues. Our body language conveys an enormous amount of information. Starting with our lips, eyes, and brows, moving down to our shoulders, and our posture in general, we are sending information. In your next conversation, notice the ones you are being sent. Does the sender seem nervous or self-assured? When you’re having a meeting with your principal, do they seem engaged, rushed, or concerned? By noticing these cues, you can give better responses. Need practice? The next time you’re in the supermarket or other public places observe the people you pass and see if you can determine what messages they are sending.
3. Staying Present and Attentive – Mattone says, “Leaders must quiet internal noise, avoid mental drift, and stay centered so the person speaking feels valued.” While the student or teacher is talking, is your mind wandering? We have so much to do, we often are multi-tasking even in the middle of a conversation. Stay present as much as possible. Keep this in mind when during casual interactions. Watch and listen when you sign in or out. Observe and interact with students as they come in for a class. You can anticipate how a student or the class will respond to the learning experience and make adjustments when needed.
4. Summarizing Key Points – When you do this after the other person finishes speaking, you demonstrate you have been listening. It is also an opportunity to identify what you might have misunderstood. As Mattone points out, “When leaders reflect back what they heard, they confirm accuracy and demonstrate respect for the speaker.” The summary allows both the receiver and you a chance to expand or focus on the essentials of the communication. (For those comfortable with AI – Gmail and other email services frequently include summary points of what was included in the exchange. It’s a helpful addition.)
5. Asking Open-Ended Questions – Open-ended questions stimulate deeper thought into the desired outcomes along with the possibility of revising some of what a teacher wants or helping a student see what they need to do to pursue their investigation. In a conversation with your principal, it alerts you to their goals giving you the ability to tie your plan to their needs. Mattone says these questions, “uncover insights that support better coaching and developmental outcomes.”
6. Maintaining Eye Contact – While only possible during face-to-face communication, this is a core component of Active Listening. It shows you are solely focused on the speaker. In Matton’s words, “It signals attentiveness, interest, and credibility.” He continues, “When leaders maintain appropriate eye contact, they communicate respect and commitment, reinforcing trust in the relationship and helping the other person feel fully heard.”

Active Listening isn’t an easy skill to master, but it is one you need in your leadership toolkit. You won’t always do it, but the more you are aware of it, the better you’ll get. Do you hear me?