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Little Things Cause Big Results

Ever had one of those days when everything you did took longer than expected?  Ever had a day when it seemed everyone needed you for something, and you were wondering if you would have time to breathe?  Yeah, me too.  We have all had days like this.

It’s fine if that happens only occasionally, but when it becomes more consistent or persistent, it’s a problem. The stress builds and builds. It’s like what happens when water keeps dripping on stone. That constant drip will eat away at the rock more effectively – if slower – than a flood.

There’s a word for this – “microstressers.” If you’re constantly feeling under pressure, but there is no one obvious culprit, then microstresses, aggravations so tiny you don’t notice or dismiss them, might be what is causing the problem. Rob Cross, Karen Dillon, and Kevin Martin have an approach to deal with them in their blog post, Five Ways to Deal with the Microstressers Draining Your Energy.  The authors identify 14 microstressers, breaking them into three categories. Here are 6 of them in the categories they belong:

Microstressers That Drain Your Capacity to Get Things Done

  • Unpredictable behavior from a person in a position of authority – Principals, administrators and school boards, can be a significant source of microstresses when they ask first for one thing then another or ask you to make something a priority that changes what they previously requested.
  • Surges in responsibilities at work or home – This is a big one for most of us. Constantly being asked to do one more little thing rapidly adds up to ongoing and unending microstresses.

Microstresses That Deplete Your Emotional Reserves

  • Managing and feeling responsible for the success and well-being of others – We care about our students and teachers as well as our families, but it can take a lot out of us when we take on their process as our own.
  • Confrontational conversations – Dealing with a defiant or disruptive student or a challenging discussion with a partner is wearing, no matter how successfully you manage it. We gear up to have the conversation, then are drained after.

Microstresses That Challenge Your Identity

  • Pressure to pursue goals out of sync with your personal values – Librarians choices are being attacked on all fronts. Being able to advocate for the collection and programs you want to have to make your library a welcoming environment for all is more and challenging. (Okay – this one may not be micro!)
  • Attacks on your sense of self-confidence, worth, or control – Anytime we hear something negative about ourselves, our choices, our beliefs, it’s like a pinprick in our confidence. Too many of these small holes, and our self-assurance leaks away.

Now that you can see what some of these microstresses are, here are the author’s 5 steps for dealing with them:

  1. Start small – Always good advice. First, look to identify one small microstresser in your life – the fact that they are micro can make this a challenge initially. Once you can see it, identify steps to address it. For example, if you are feeling a loss of confidence, start keeping a list of great things about you or what you do. Look at them regularly (especially after one of those pinpricks).  And keep adding to the list.
  2. Shift your attention to positive interactions that help create resilience – Is there someone at work you really like?  Can you have lunch with them a few times a week or go for a walk together after school. Enjoy these connections as they happen and look forward to your next time together will help. What about outside of work? Is there a friend you can call regularly?
  3. Tackle two bigger microstresses – Now that you have a handle on two of your microstresser “go big” and try two. Schedule some time with the guidance counselor to get better ideas on dealing with disruptive students and see if they can do a workshop or tutorial for you and teachers. How can you delegate some of the increased workload at home or on the job? Where is there help and support in your life?
  4. Pay attention to areas that create anxiety because of your concern for other people – We worry about the people who matter to us whether at home or work. We can’t make choices for them, and we can’t always rush in to help them. The authors suggest you work with them on developing problem-solving skills, which will allow you to both feel more successful. It may also have the added benefit of giving you peace of mind that you can trust their process.
  5. Finish by pivoting to activities that help you derive a greater sense of purpose – The authors suggest you find a group or two outside work and family that gives you “meaningful activities.” For me it’s my Weight Watchers weekly meetings. I can feel myself shedding the microstresses even if I gain weight. Community and support are something we all need and which can get easily lost in the midst of all the little things that pull at us.

If you want to learn more about this subject, Cross and Dillon also co-authored the book The Microstress Effect. As leaders, we have so many demands we and others place on us, but our focus and energy tends to go to the big things and we don’t notice the little things that are draining our energy, mental health, and joy. When we succumb to these microstresser we can’t give as much to our school community or our family. Look for the little things that are becoming big things and take small steps to reduce your stress.

Posted on by hildaweisburg

Small Talk Brings Big Results

Your success is built on the strength of the relationships you have as much as it is on the programs you run and the collections you create. If we don’t know how to build relationships, we will soon be out of business. So how do we develop these relationships? You start with small talk.

Small talk is like the way plants reproduce by dropping their seeds everywhere. Most of them won’t take root, but some will. And that’s the idea. Not every short conversation will start a relationship, but some will.  Sometimes, you will run into that person again, and you continue with small talk until one day you discover it’s become something bigger.

Consider every interaction as an opportunity. But use it as an opportunity to connect, not to push your message about librarians. When you have a follow up conversation, then the opening might occur. If it does, have your elevator speech ready (2-3 sentences that explain your mission for the library). Even better — have many variations depending on what would be most appropriate in the moment.

The post by Lisa A. Beach, The Art of Small Talk: How to Connect with Strangers and Acquaintances, is a helpful guide to developing your skill at purposeful small talk. Remember, all interactions are significant because no matter their length they will leave the other person with a positive or negative impression of you.

Beach recommends that you don’t divulge too many personal details too soon. Instead, you need to look and listen for clues that the other party is interested. What information have they offered? Why are they participating in this conversation? Do they appear to be welcoming the interchange?  She suggests you “find the magic in the moment.” Enjoy the conversation without worrying if it will go further.

To get better at small talk, Beach offers the following techniques:

  • The art of making small talk more meaningful – Get the other person to talk by asking open ended questions. Are they reading a book? Wearing a scarf or piece of jewelry you like? Have a picture on their desk of a pet or family member? All of these can be a place to start a conversation about something clearly important to them.
  • Overcoming shyness in social situations – If you are uncomfortable about initiating a conversation, remember the outcome you want which is better relationships throughout your school with students, teachers, and administrators. Since small talk has low stakes, this can be a great place to gain confidence. This way when you need speak, there’s already a connection to lean on. The more you engage in these – even when you’re nervous – the better your results will be over time.
  • Navigate graceful exits – Knowing how to get out of a conversation is as important as knowing how to start one. Some people have a lot of time on their hands and can talk forever. Beach has a three-step method. First, thank them for an interesting conversation, then indicate what you need to do, and close by wishing them well.  For part one, identify something they shared that you appreciated.  This has the added benefit of showing them you were listening. It may also give you a way to start your next conversation.

Small talk may not seem important, but these brief interactions will add up to something bigger – a relationship. As librarians, we want to be someone students, teachers, and administrators come to for our expertise. Becoming that kind of trusted resource takes time. When you start with small talk you create the opportunity for more significant conversations that lead to collaborations and new successes.

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Vary Your Leadership Style

Just as people have a style of speaking and dressing, so too do they have a style of leadership. This might not be something you’ve thought about consciously, but you do have a way you lead When you become aware of it, you can use the one that best support your success in a given situation.

When I’ve spoken on leadership styles, I discuss that I lean into that of Native Americans who espouse Servant Leadership. As the term suggests, this style views the leader as working for the good of the people. For school librarians, focusing on helping others be successful is a natural part of what we do.

Whatever your style is, it probably comes so naturally to you, you don’t usually think of changing it, but there are times when servant leadership is not the best for managing a situation. As leaders we need to be aware of those occasions and know what style we need to draw on to be the most effective. In his blog post, “Are You Using the Most Appropriate Leadership Style? Paul Thornton says there are three basic styles: Directing Style, Discussing Style, and Delegating Style.

Thornton defines these as:

  • Directing Style – You tell people what to do.
  • Discussing Style – You collaborate with others asking for ideas and opinions.
  • Delegating Style – You give others an opportunity to demonstrate their skills and abilities.

He then speaks with leaders in different fields (fire fighter, professor, hockey coach, minister) to explain how they use these three style in action. It’s a fascinating read to see how they each use these styles to bring out the best results for a given situation. Consider their responses along with mine to see where you use them.

  • Directing Style – This is a good one for emergency situations. You also use it when you give students directions as you begin a project with them or start a class at the elementary level. It’s the style you use when you set goals. It is also useful when there is no place for discussion.
  • Discussing Style – This is how you collaborate with teachers or learn where students are in a process. You want to make sure you hear them. Know what they are trying to achieve. It’s how you are careful not to override them. Long ago when a teacher wanted her entire science class to research the same scientist, I suggested she would get bored reading all the same information. From there together we went onto a more meaningful project. When you’re working with students, you help them discover what they are seeking rather controlling what they find. It’s the style that is essential to making the library a safe, welcoming space for all. This style can also be very effective with administrators allowing you to build a relationship with your principal. Learn what their priorities and goals are, then find positive things to share that reflect how your work supports this such as a great project students did. Spotlight both the teacher and the students for the project.
  • Delegating Style – Beth McGinnis-Cavanaugh, a professor of engineering and physical sciences, says, “Delegating requires students to take charge of their learning and performance. This approach teaches students how to advocate for themselves, ask for help, communicate, seek needed resources and work independently.” We need to give students choice and voice so they discover their own strengths and recognize they can overcome challenges. You might also use Delegating Style when working with teachers with whom you have built a solid collaborative relationship. Having them select from different resources as to where students will be “directed” to begin or creating the Essential Question for the project is empowering.

Most of you are probably using all three styles without thinking about it. However, as leaders we are most effective when we do things consciously. Consider the situation and choose the leadership style you need.

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The Emotional Pull of Procrastination

A few weeks ago, I wrote about how regardless of how busy we are, we still sometimes choose to procrastinate and do the tasks that aren’t the most important. But it’s hard to make a change if we don’t know what’s behind it. Not surprisingly, the root is emotional. No matter how well we plan, emotion tends to win over logic.

Whether you procrastinate by eating, doing non-essential tasks, or playing some online game, it’s our emotions that are responsible. Unfortunately, knowing that emotions are the root cause doesn’t mean you can simply stop procrastinating. Kathleen Davies offers some techniques for getting control of our self-sabotaging emotions in her blog post, Why We Procrastinate—And How to Stop,   She notes that procrastination is an emotion-management problem so that is what needs to be managed.

To begin to understand where your emotions are pulling you off track, start by listing everything that needs to get done (or as much as you can) and note which of these tasks are causing you stress or other negative emotions. Then pick one of those to complete along with an easier one. Once you do these, you’re likely to feel successful enough to tackle the bigger ones.

This list will also help keep you from something Davies calls procrastiworking. This is when we spend time doing the things that make us feel busy, but don’t really help our to-do list. It’s when we clean up our desks or go through our endless emails. We tell ourselves it’s work so we are getting things accomplished. It’s not the thing that we needed to get done but we still do it.

If specific action steps will help you to change your choices, Davies has four tips for beating procrastination:

  • Increase the room temperature – Research has shown that higher temperatures increase your focus.
  • Sunlight– Working where you get natural sunlight has also been shown to increase productivity.
  • Exercise during the workday – Doing it even for a short time improves memory and reduces stress while clearing your head and helping your focus more.
  • Setting a timer – Give yourself a block of time, perhaps 20 minutes, to work and allow yourself to take a break at the end.

To make a shift away from procrastiworking, first recognize that you are doing it. Next, go back to your to-do list. Identify the priorities and what steps you can take to deal with them. At the end of the day, assess how you did. To prevent it happening in the future – plan. Know how often you do it, learn to recognize it, and decide what you will do when it occurs. And notice the emotions and stress that come up before and after you’ve completed the tasks. Hopefully positive emotions can guide your future choices.

It’s interesting to note that for some people, procrastination can be useful. If you are someone who works best under a deadline, then waiting until that deadline is looming – and the adrenaline that accompanies this– can help you to be more efficient and effective. When you reach the point that you can’t put it off until tomorrow, you can’t get distracted. You have to stay focused. This doesn’t work for everyone, but if it does for you, then go for it!

But in addition to learning about where our emotions are causing us to veer off course, Davies also writes about the importance of stepping away from the task that is causing our stress.  She says, “Sometimes you just need to take a break. Go for a walk, talk with a friend, or do something that isn’t work. It’s not always worth just powering through.”

So, if reading this blog was procrastiworking for you (“But Hilda writes about libraries, so it’s work, right?”) then get back to your list. If one of the tools mentioned seems like it would support your success, go for it. Here’s to learning how to best use our time for our success.

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On the Path to More Joy

Today I’m concluding what has unexpectedly become a three-part series on joy. It seems especially fitting after a stretch of gray and rainy days where I live and the change of clocks in the United States which heralds a lengthening of daylight hours (something that personally gives me a lot of joy).

Finding and noticing joy are key to our ongoing mental health. And because our mental health affects our physical health, it has an important role to play in our ability and willingness to do the work we love. We think joy comes from an event or occurrence that happens to us. But we don’t need to wait for those moments. Last week in my blog, I shared the first five ways to bring joy into your life from 10 Ways to Find or Create Joy at Work by the Career Contessa Team. Here are the remaining five ways:

  1. Give Back – We usually think of this as volunteering, but at work it can be something as simple and meaningful as giving someone a true compliment – one that is specific to something you saw or experienced with them. Better yet write them a note so they have it to reference later. Is there someone who helped you recently? Send a thank you note (yes, e-mail is ok, but imagine how’d they’d feel getting something handwritten).
  2. Surround Yourself with (You Guessed It) Joyful People – Who are the people in your life who seem to have a zest for living? The people you can’t help but be drawn to. Find ways to see and work with them more often. The Career Contessa Team says these people need not be from your school. Your family and friends can (and hopefully do) bring you joy. Spend time with them. Don’t sacrifice joy with them to get more work done.
  3. Distance Yourself from Work Vampires – The Career Contessa Team says these are the “people who mosey up to your desk to complain, spread gossip, complain, and complain.” They delight in finding and magnifying everything that isn’t going well and suck out any joy you might be feeling. Recognize them for who they are. You may have to see them if they are your colleagues (and we have to be in relationship with everyone), but do what you can to minimize the time they take. And be sure not to agree with them. It will be added to their gossip.
  4. Find Small, New Ways to Do Old Things – Many times when we feeling down makes us yearn for change, we look to do big, sweeping things. Instead, we are often better off making small, sustainable changes to make things one step better. That can give us the momentum to continue to do more and more. Finding small ways to do old things differently can spark all kinds of energy and joy. You can also try a new approach or set up – put your desk near a window, change display areas, redo a bulletin board – and get help and input from others.
  5. Embrace You and Your Strengths – We are all unique. Our inner critic often wishes we were more like someone else. Why waste time on that.? You are you, and you bring your unique strengths to all your interactions. Seeing that what you bring is special and important can help you rekindle the joy for what you do and how you do it. The Career Contessa Team concludes with fun exercise. First, list five of your strengths. Complete this sentence for each one: I am (your strength), and it matters because ­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­________________.

Now you have ten ways to find and create joy in your life. I have found that joy is contagious. The more joy you bring into your life, the more you will notice and the more you will attract people who want to be with you. Knowing that joy is something you can reach for and find whenever you need it is very empowering. And feeling empowered supports your work, your leadership, and everything you do. As well as creating more joy. Don’t think of it as secondary – make joy a priority and see the amazing results of your efforts.

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Bring Back Your Joy

Do you wake up each weekday eager to get to work or dreading it? Have you started counting the days until your retirement? Somewhere along the way, your joy has drained out, and each day is a grind. Two weeks ago, I blogged on how to Rediscover the Joy in Your Work. I shared five tips then, but we need all the help we can get.

Most of us can handle the usual stress of the jam-packed life of a school librarian. It’s the added tensions of the scrutiny and suspicions of what we do, why we do it, and how we do it, that are siphoning off much of our love and passion. Our students, teachers, and our administrators need us to continue to bring our joy when we help and work with them. Which is why I was pleased to find the blog post 10 Ways to Find or Create Joy at Work from the Career Contessa Team.

The team prefaces their advice by asking, “What if you have tried, and your work holds no joy?” They then proceed to answer their question. Here are their first five suggestions:

  1. Identify Your Core Values + Beliefs – As a school librarian you embrace the Core Values of Librarianship from ALA. You also share the six Common Beliefs in the National School Library Standards. Beyond that, what are your beliefs? Write them down (try to keep it to no more than five so you don’t get overwhelmed).
  2. Find Ways to Infuse Your Core Values into Your Work – Take this identification to the next step by journaling by listing some ways you bring your core values and your beliefs into your day. Look at what you wrote and congratulate yourself for making a difference each day. Take in how these values make you feel. There is joy there.
  3. Make Time to Laugh + Share Laughter – We have only to look at the number of comedies set in challenging situations to appreciate the power of laughter. It has even been scientifically proven to be good medicine. Look around = there are funny and ridiculous things that happen everywhere. If you look for it, you will find it. And when you find it, you can share it.
  4. Share New Ideas – This is natural to school librarians and a wonderful place to find joy. We are curators. The ideas don’t need to be library or even school related. I just shared on my School Librarian’s Workshop Facebook group about a school district that is bringing inclusion into the community by having one school lunch each week be from one of the diverse communities represented in the area.
  5. Start a Club – It could be for students, but it can be for teachers. Your club should be something that you like to do, but it need not be a book club. You might do one on gardening or knitting or some ways to contribute to the school or outside community. Your club can be ongoing or have a limited duration. It forms connections, builds relationships, and makes everyone feel better. Something for people – including you – to look forward to. Instant joy!

Becoming joyful about being a school librarian shouldn’t be one more task. Pick one or two from the list and try it on for size. If it’s not you, pick something else. Let me know if you want me to share the remaining five. And in the meantime, I hope you’re able to find more joy and bring it to your work and life.

Posted on by hildaweisburg

Are You Procrastinating Too Much?

Procrastinating means to put off doing something. The definition doesn’t include the words “something important,” but that’s usually when we think of it. Because often when we’re putting off something – the bills, returning a call, setting up a meeting with our principal – we’re getting lots of other things done. Just not the one that banging around in our heads, the one we can’t stop thinking about that we know needs to get done.

There is no doubt about it. That list of check marks on the unimportant tasks probably means we’re avoiding the priority or the most impactful action. Why do we do that to ourselves? And how can we stop doing it? Greg Vanourek tackles the problem in How to Stop Avoiding Things: 17 Practices:

  1. Start by noticing your avoidance practices – Awareness is always the first step in being able to deal with a problem. What are you go-to tasks that alert you to the fact that you’re avoid something bigger. (Email? Facebook?)
  2. Seek the root cause of your avoidance behavior – It may be feeling uncertain about how to handle the specific task. It could be something frightening such as dealing with a book challenge and/or preparing for a board meeting where your book selection practices are being questioned. Knowing what’s behind your choices can help you make a change.
  3. Process your emotions – Recognize the emotions. Allow yourself to feel and express them. Vanourek suggests journaling or exercising. Both of these can change your physiological state and put you in a better mindset.
  4. Divide the problem you’re avoiding into smaller, more manageable chunks – It’s the old adage about how to eat an elephant. And as you complete each chunk, you feel successful and ready to tackle the next chunk. Momentum helps you keep going.
  5. Start with an easy task or small encounter to get momentum – This works like chunking and gives you a way to get into action – sometimes the hardest part.
  6. Look for ways to boost your motivation for a better result– Keep track of what you are accomplishing. Consider a Success Journal or visible check list. Cheer your own progress.
  7. Reframe a situation to note the positives and refrain from focusing only on the negatives – This may a very challenging project, which is why you were avoiding it in the first place. Keep your focus on the positive results you’re aiming for. If it’s something you are uncertain about handling, consider this a step in your learning. For a book challenge issue, see yourself joining those who stand up for our core values and beliefs as a librarian.
  8. Quiet your negative self-talk – Not easy, but reframing will help. Vanourek suggests being compassionate with yourself, “we are all works in progress.” Know that mistakes are a part of the process, not a reason to stop.
  9. Practice your communication skills – Be ready to talk about the benefits and challenges of what you’re doing by always keeping your communication skills strong. Then you can confidently as you express yourself and when asking for help when needed.
  10. Set a deadline for taking action – “By when’s” are vital to starting and continuing. “I’ll have this step done before Wednesday/noon/break.” It also gives you goals and milestone to reach.
  11. Build action habits – The more you see yourself doing – and as being a doer – the easier it will be to continue. Momentum is your friend.
  12. Recognize that addressing something you’ve been avoiding can make you feel powerful – Instead of carrying around the heaviness of your thoughts as you think about this project and the fact that it’s still not done, taking even that first step will be empowering. You’ll inspire yourself to take the next.
  13. Work on your problem-solving skills –Vanourek suggests exploring creative ways of dealing with problems even before you get to a project that you want to avoid. Knowing you are good at problem-solving will help you spend less time procrastinating.
  14. Develop your tolerance and flexibility – Rigid ways of thinking rarely help us out of difficult situations and challenging emotions. Be open to the process and recognize some problems are beyond your ability. Look for ways to get help – such as your PLN.
  15. Work on improving your coping skills and strategies – Some suggested questions to ask yourself: “How might I address this? What would my best self do in this situation?
  16. Resist your urge to avoid when it appears – Now that you recognize your avoidance behaviors, you are better equipped to deal with them. Get into action as soon as possible. The longer you wait, the harder it is to get going.
  17. Get support – You don’t have to do everything on your own. Look to see who handles this better than you and ask for help. Mentors can be useful in this.

This is a long list – and a long post. If any of these points hit you, then make a change. And if you’re reading this instead of tackling that responsibility you’ve been avoiding? It’s time to get to work.

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Rediscover the Joy In Your Work

For the last several years, I’ve been teaching classes for school librarian students at several programs across the country. Universally, they bring the enthusiasm and joy that typically comes with a new career path, looking forward to the young learners they will work with. Yet all too often, as years pass, our enthusiasm dampens, and the joy disappears.

Like at the beginning of a relationship, there’s no way to remain bright-eyed as the years pass and we deal with the less than perfect aspects of our work. It’s stressful and draining. But the truth is – what we do matters. Perhaps even more than ever. We change lives. We help students develop their ability to go out into the world with critical thinking skills, an understanding of how learning never ends, and an awareness of the resources open to them. We need to restore our excitement in what we do and delight in seeing that change as it unfolds.

Jason McKenna recognized the importance of this in his blog post, Embracing the Teaching Marathon with Joy and Well-Being. He discusses the increasing burnout of educators, which includes librarians. and offers five strategies not only to deal with burnout but to “reinvigorate the passion and joy” at the heart of what we do.

  1. Create a not-to-do list – I discussed this strategy in my blog post To Do …And To Don’t. When we add more and more to our plate without taking anything off, we risk overwhelm and burnout. Just as new tech and other resources become available and are important to incorporate, older practices may become less so. It is helpful to take stock of your responsibilities and find new ways to manage them. What can you eliminate? Who or what can help?
  2. Embrace periods of unproductivity – It’s inefficient to go from one creative task to another without taking a break. Our brains don’t work that way, no matter how much we want to do the next thing. After finishing a complex report to your principal, don’t plunge into planning a lesson that will demonstrate a new resource that will foster critical thinking. Congratulate yourself and go through your email. It will allow a healthy shift. If being “unproductive” stresses you, think of it as “differently productive.”
  3. Redefine success metrics – Stop defining success as the number of things you have crossed off your to-do list. Qualitative results count more than quantitative ones. McKenna reminds you to consider how you felt as a project was being done or completed. Recognize and celebrate the ways you made a difference and the changes that happened along the way. Your emotional feelings that came from running a program are also a measure of how successful you were. It’s where the joy is.
  4. Prioritize dialogue over data –. An extension of the last item, notice the impact you’re making by talking to students and teachers and hearing how projects and programs impacted them. How many students became excited about what they were researching? How many teachers thanked you for the help you gave them? We touch lives. Be aware of the many ways you are doing it each day. Making connections with people, particularly one-to-one, reminds us of how we change lives in big and small ways. And it builds relationships and advocates.
  5. Protect your personal time diligently – Never having time for yourself – and the other priorities in your life- is a sure route to burnout and loss of joy. And the road back can be longer than we expect. Someone I know once said, we are human beings not human doings. Take the time for the things that bring your pleasure so you can refill your well.

Can you remember back to when you first decided to become a librarian? Do you remember your “Why?” My students have long lists for their why. Take some time to reconnect with your own passion for school libraries and school librarianship. Remember how much your work, your library, and your programs matter. Take in the ways you are succeeding – and have succeeded in the past – to bring renewed energy to your work.

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Mind Your Mindset

Our brains are wonderful—until they are not. The brain’s most important function is survival and to do that, it looks for danger. But even though there is no longer a lion at the mouth of the cave, it’s still searching for what’s wrong. The result of this is – we find problems and places to worry all the time. This onslaught of negative (and not always true) thoughts lower our mood and add to the stress we are already feeling.

It takes work to noticed when your mind is lying to you and reframe your thoughts to a more a positive mindset. You won’t be able to do this continuously, but awareness is the first step to making a change. In a very long blog post, George Vanourek explains the Power of Reframing to Change Our Outlook. Considering the length of the post, I am focusing on what I consider his key points as to what causes all those negative mindsets and how we can manage them.

First, we need to look at what comes up and how our brains react. Negative mindsets are caused by cognitive distortions resulting in “flawed or irrational thinking.” These result in:

  • Assuming the worst – For example, when your principal asks to see you and you immediately believe they are going to cut your budget and eliminate the new program you started.
  • Discounting the positive – While focusing on all the negative reasons for the call, you dismiss that your principal had complimented the new program and the way the library has been invaluable to the school community.
  • Catastrophizing – You might then find yourself jumping to the conclusion that they are going to eliminate librarians despite what has been said about you and your program.
  • Overgeneralizing – This is what always happens. You knew it was too good to last. Just when you think you have it right, it all goes to pieces and things are worse than before.
  • Emotional reasoning – This is when you shift from how you are feeling at the moment to a judgement about yourself. “It was so stupid when I neglected a key direction for students and had to backtrack to fix it. I am so stupid!”

Obviously, this negative self-talk causes you more stress, erodes your self-confidence, and affects your performance. Among the nine techniques Vanourek suggests to counter this negativity, my favorites are:

  • Context reframing – Change how you look at the issue. Instead of feeling you are stupid, consider the benefits students get from seeing you acknowledge an error and move on from there.
  • Stop taking things personally – If a student complains that the book you recommended was terrible, that may not have anything to do with your ability to choose books for your students.  They could have had a bad day and are mad at things in general, or they might not have been clear about what they liked. Maybe there was something triggering in the book that you couldn’t have known because the student doesn’t talk about. This is where context reframing comes in again. Use this as an opportunity to discuss the student’s interests and see what you can do next.
  • Multi-dimensional view – Where we focus makes all the difference in what we are able to see. Look for ways to get a wider perspective instead of the narrow one in which you are viewing the problem. Ask yourself: What has made you so upset? What perspective changes this feeling? What previous experiences are affecting your thoughts? What can you learn from this moment? And remember the bigger picture – your Why, your Mission, and Vison. See where you are furthering them, no matter the stress of the moment.

If you put your hand in front of your face that’s all you see. Move your hand further away, and you not only see your hand, but everything else as well. Your hand (the stress of the moment) becomes only part of the view.  You can’t stop things from going wrong or the stresses that life brings, but you can be aware of and control your reactions. Keep watching for your negative self-talk and then look for ways to shift your mindset. There is always a more positive way to frame the situation and when you do, new solutions are more likely to appear.

Posted on by hildaweisburg

To Do… And To Don’t

Time management is essential for all of us, professionally and personally. As leaders, it is even more important. Our plates keep getting piled higher as we take on or are given new responsibilities. Getting everything done seems impossible. Your to-do list or however you keep track of what needs to get done is getting longer.

What you need is another list.

Stay with me — this second list is “To-Don’t.” It’s time to clear things off your plate. You are undoubtedly doing more than necessary with tasks and treating all of them as having equal weight, but this is not the case. You need a system that allows you to see which things need to be done by you, and which don’t.

Instead of shelving every book as it’s returned – put them on a cart labeled “Just returned—would you like to borrow one?” Instead of creating all your bulletin boards and displays – check with the art teacher(s) to see if they would like their students to take this on as an authentic project. You would give guidelines and topics. You could do the same with different clubs.

Then there are the projects that you started only to realize it’s a much bigger commitment than you thought (genre-fying your collection, anyone?). But you made the commitment or started and now you have to continue. Or do you? Sometimes knowing when to stop is an important as knowing what to start.

David Baker offers a way to avoid these too-big commitments in his blog post, Stopping Is as Important as Starting. To begin he recommends you think of it as trial with an estimated duration. And most important, identify how it will fit into your schedule, making room as necessary by dropping something else. He recommends this two-step approach:

Think of things in season – Quoting the verses from Ecclesiastes, Baker suggests there is a season for all things. Although quitting feels like failure to us, sometimes you need to do it to be successful with your other responsibilities and projects. It’s part of your growth. It’s the learning process. Remember the choice of to-do or to-don’t do is yours. Work to be as clear in your reasons for stopping as you were (hopefully) in your reasons for starting.

Be resolute but not reckless – We are always harder on ourselves than we are with others. Baker advises you to consider what a good friend would tell you to do when you choose a project you shouldn’t have undertaken. It will force you to reflect and evaluate whether the stress of the new commitment will bring about results that are worth it. Think of it a ROI – return on investment. What are you getting out of it that makes it worth the effort. If it is worth it, figure out something you are doing that isn’t worth the time you are putting in and drop that.

You can’t add more hours to the day. When you are over-committed you and your library suffer. It affects your personal and professional relationships. Doing too much will actually move you further from your Mission and Vision. Be honest – and kind – with yourself and make choices that support you and your program. You will be a better leader for it.