The feelings of overwhelm, exhaustion and burnout are on the rise. Between our work, our world, and our families, we are frequently unsure how to manage all we are responsible for. Then we’re told to take time for ourselves, because if we don’t, we run the risk of things getting worse. Sounds like more stress.

Unfortunately, most of the advice out there is generic. Do this, eat that, stop saying yes. But the truth is we are unique. Our lives are different from the ones we see and read about. Our needs are different. What works for one person, doesn’t work for another. What is true is that we require balance so that the stressors in our lives don’t suck out all the joy.

So how do we find and succeed at our personal balancing act? Fortunately, Sandeep Gupta explains how to go about the process in his blog post, Work-Life Balance: A Myth or Reality? He starts with the following 4 myths referenced in the title of his blog:

1. Work is pain, and personal life is pleasure – While it’s true that most of us have to work, it isn’t true that work is always pain. If family life is currently stressful, it could be that your personal life is not always pleasure. Which is true for you? Is it always the case? Hopefully we enjoy our jobs – most of the time. We love our family and friends. Most of the time. What is the best balance for you, personally? How much work and how much personal time are the right balance for you?
2. Work and personal life are separate – We categorize it that way when we think about balance, but the two overlap often. You take work home. You don’t forget personal issues when we are at work. I used to tell my staff to let me know if they were under stress from home so we could adjust their day. As Gupta notes, when you have a bad day at one, you bring it into the other. What we need, he says, is not a “work-life balance” but a “balanced life.”
3. Time is the only constraint – Gupta says we think having more time would allow us to have a work-life balance. But it’s not about the hours and minutes, it’s the quality of the time and what we choose to do with it. Having the time to enjoy dinner or play with our children is more enjoyable than just making it home at a specified hour while still thinking about a task at work.
4. One Correct Solution – Just as there is no one-size-fits-all when it comes to having a balanced life, there is not one solution that will always continue to work. What you need today may not be what you need next year. It’s important to be reflective about how you feel and make changes as necessary when necessary.

So, how do you go about it finding your balance? Gupta recommends considering these questions.

• What needs to happen to make life more fulfilling? 
• How can life be more balanced and fulfilling?
• Who do I need to become to lead a fulfilled life?

To answer the first question, ask yourself: what are your priorities? What things can you do to make more time for them? What unnecessary things are you doing which can be delegated or eliminated? Take time to notice when and if these might change.

For the second question, identify your passions – both at work and in your personal life. Ensure that you make a place for them. The usual advice about making time for physical activity is true here as well. It energizes you and promotes a positive mindset.

The third question requires you to include time to reflect on your life. Are you feeling fulfilled? Do you need to revise what you are doing? Remember, there is no one correct solution and today’s solution may not work in a year. Life brings change at home and at work. Accept it, be ready for it, and make any needed adjustments.

Burnout is a real thing. It comes when over a period of time, what we expect or think we can do doesn’t align with the truth. We can burnout because of both work and personal stressors. It may not seem like you have the time to look at this, but the truth is, you can’t afford to ignore it. Ask yourself these questions (maybe you do it one your commute). Listen to the answers you receive, and then do what you can to act on them.