Posted on by hildaweisburg

Take My Advice

We all are guilty of giving unsolicited advice. Most often, we don’t even realize we’re doing it. Unfortunately, instead of building relationships, giving advice when it’s not asked for tends to cause resistance. In offering help, we don’t stop to learn if the other person needs or wants assistance. In rushing in with our solution, it may seem to the other person that we are minimizing the problem. In ither case, the other person pulls away and an opportunity to truly be of help is gone.

 What makes us think we always have an answer? We certainly don’t have solutions for all our problems. Often, the best help we can give someone is just to listen. Whether they want to vent their anger or release too many thoughts swirling in their heads, offering a solution cuts off their process. By short-circuiting what they were saying, you may very well have prevented them from finding their own solution. When someone is angry, fearful about a situation, or any other highly emotional state, they are not thinking cognitively. Through the process of expelling it all, reason has a chance to return. The thoughts stop swirling, and the rational mind deals with what has upset them.

When someone comes to you with a problem, you have an important role to play—without offering help. They needed someone with whom to share all of it, and they trusted you to be that person. By using your active listening skills, you help them while deepening the relationship. Instead of speaking, use your body language to show you are focused on what they are saying. Nod your head. Let your facial expression mirror supportive feelings. If there is a pause, you can restate something they just said to show you are listening – and to find out if you missed a point.

PsychCentral cautions “It’s Time to Stop Giving Unsolicited Advice“. The simplest way to do this is to ask if advice is wanted. You can try any of these questions suggested by PsychCentral:

Are you open to suggestions? This clears the path for your response. “Suggestions” is a better word than “advice.”  The latter says you know more and can be taken as a criticism. The former is just some ideas you offer that can be taken or not.

I’ve been through something similar. Can I tell you about what worked for me? Without imposing, you are establishing a bond of a mutual experience. Recognize that means you will have to share that experience. That interchange puts the communication on an even more personal level. It evokes shared trust and leads to deepening the relationship.

Is there anything I can do to help? Be prepared for a no or a yes. It is a generous offer. If the other person takes you up on it, you are obligated to follow through. The commitment may take time and effort on your part. If no further help is required or requested, you have shown your willingness and concern.

If you find that you regularly give unsolicited advice, PsychCentral offers you some advice in the form of questions to ask yourself, including the following:

  • Why do I want to offer advice right now?
  • Is there something else that I can do that would be more helpful?
  • Is there someone more qualified who could advise this person?
  • Can I let them decide or figure this out on their own?
  • What else can I do to reduce my anxiety or discomfort?
  • Can I accept that my ideas aren’t the only good ideas?
  • How can I be supportive without giving unsolicited advice?
  • Can I focus on listening and understanding instead of fixing and instructing? Would this be supportive and respectful?

Unsolicited advice is a two-edged sword. You have only the best intentions when you are the one offering it, but that may not be how it’s received. Think about times when someone has offered you unsolicited advice By recognizing what receiving it feels like, you will be better able to restrain your impulse in the future. And if they are looking for advice, hear the other person out — completely—so you understand the situation before you give your response.

And that’s my advice to you. LOL 🙂

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Happiness is…

No one is happy all the time, but if you can’t recall recent moments of happiness, you are harming yourself as well as your ability to be a leader. The harm to yourself comes from the chemicals your brain produces when you are stressed or angry compared to those produced when you are happy. Your body needs the benefits of those endorphins to get you through your busy days.

The harm to your leadership ability results from how you present yourself to the world because, in addition to the negative feelings, your face shows it when you are sad, angry, or stressed. No one enjoys spending much time around people who are often unhappy or upset.

The good news is you don’t need large doses of happiness. Even fleeting pleasures can boost your mindset and last for quite a while. The challenge is to identify – and then capture – them in the moment. When something drags you down, if you continue finding these happiness-promoting instances, you will feel happy overall. And that happiness will be seen even through a KN95 mask.

In his in depth blog What Leads to Happiness? Greg Vanourek lists 20 ways you can bring more happiness into your life. Here are his first 10:

  1. Regular exercise and physical activity –. You don’t have to train for a marathon or spend hours exercising. Just include 10-15 minutes a day on your to do list. And especially for those of us currently in winter, do what you can to spend a few of those minutes out in the sun when it appears. Research suggests getting out into the fresh air has an immediate positive effect
  2. Acts of kindness, service, and generosity – The getting is in the giving. When you help others, there is a boost to your sense of self. Take time to notice the small and many opportunities where you can give to others but make sure not to do this at the expense of your own needs and boundaries. Don’t turn giving into a burden or a drain
  3. Purpose and meaning – Knowing that your actions are producing something of value and making a difference is a cause for happiness. Know and notice your “why” when you engage in any activity, including those connected to your job.
  4. Relationships with others – Humans are social beings. As the pandemic proved, it harms us when we can’t interact with others. Don’t let your tasks and responsibilities keep you from spending time with the people you care about and who care about you. You offer support for each other as needed, and it just feels good to be with them. Vanourek says ‘According to many researchers, strong social relationships are the most important contributor to enduring happiness for most people”
  5. Goals and aspirations – This is related to #3. If you know where you are going – and why you want to go there is joy in the journey. As you achieve the small steps, your sense of accomplishment makes you happy.
  6. Authentic expression of self – Be true to who you are. It saves a lot of energy-draining effort. Being a people-pleaser or focusing on what other people think diminishes you and your happiness.
  7. Anticipation – An upcoming anniversary, graduation, or other event in your life adds pleasure. Savor it. If necessary, look to put something on your schedule that you can look forward to.
  8. Gratitude – Recognizing what you have in your life and being thankful for can keep you from focusing on the negatives. Taking a moment to be grateful can give you a happiness boost in the midst of a gray day.
  9. Experience – While something is happening, take time to notice and enjoy it. Do what you can to stay in the moment. Appreciating enjoyable times whether it’s dining out, seeing a ball game, or being with a friend boosts your happiness.
  10. Learning and developing – Mastering a new task or learning something new makes you feel good about your accomplishments. Consider ways you can share your new knowledge for even more happiness.

Happiness is many things. It’s not the huge events that are responsible for making us happy on an everyday basis. It’s the small moments that can make all the difference once we tune into them. When you can take the time for joy and notice what is already good in your life, your happiness will shine and others will enjoy being in its presence.

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You Aren’t Listening

Did you ever have someone call you out because you weren’t listening to them? Have you ever said that to anyone? You can’t have a successful communication if one party isn’t listening. We know this and recognize the importance of active listening, yet all too often our conversations go astray as we or the other party tune out.

We (or the person we’re talking to) tune out when our thoughts go elsewhere. We also tune out when we are trying to make our point and override what the other person is saying.  This typically happens if we have decided we are not being heard. In the process, we block what is being said to us in an attempt to reinforce our perspective.

The result is the communication doesn’t work. Whatever the purpose of the conversation, it isn’t achieved. Worse, we may need to repair any damage we have done to a relationship we are building if we have left the other person angry or annoyed.   

Ronald Williamson and Barbara R. Blackburn identify three conditions needed by an effective communicator in their blog post, Leadership: Listening to Others in Volatile Times. The three requirements are:

  • Focus – Keep the conversation focused on the speaker, even if you’ve gone to them for something. Either they need the help or they have what you need.
  • Openness – Be willing to listen. Don’t make up your mind before hearing what the person has to say.
  • Willingness – This is the tough one. You need to be prepared to change your mind or your actions based on what the other person says.  You cannot get here without being focused and open.

Knowing these three conditions doesn’t mean we put them into practice.  There are barriers we construct that keep us from being successful at active listening. Williamson and Blackburn list these five. If you notice these barriers coming up you need to return to practicing the three requirements.

  1. Indifference – For some reason, we think the speaker or their issue is not important.  They may be someone who always has an opinion, and we are tired of dealing with them. It could be a student who regularly brings up something that interferes with the direction you are taking the lesson.  The other party will eventually notice from body language, incorrect answers or other slips that you were not listening.
  2. Assumptions – This happens when we judge other people and categorize them based on our implicit biases.  Although getting to know them can change these perceptions, tuning someone out based on these assumptions hampers building relationship and affects how we are perceived in turn. You are missing an opportunity to connect and get to know someone who could be a true ally if given the chance.
  3. Distractions – Our days are filled with them. You hear your phone vibrate and stop listening to the speaker. Other people in the library have part of your attention, or the project you were managing before this conversation is still on your mind. In these instances, you are out of the conversation and have gone somewhere else. Allowing yourself to be distracted telegraphs the message that the other party and their issue isn’t important.  
  4. Hurrying – The other barriers – in addition to our overloaded schedules – frequently has us trying to hurry a conversation, not allowing the other person the time they need or deserve. Who has time?  We are like the White Rabbit in Alice in Wonderland. If you find yourself thinking, “get to the point,” you aren’t listening and you may miss an important piece of information. You’ve definitely missed a chance to connect.
  5. Information Overload – As librarians we are often guilty of doing this to others.  They come in with a question. We find the answer and keep going with related information and more detail than the person asked for or needed.  Given the likelihood of distractions and hurrying, less is more. When approaching your principal with a proposal, don’t give all the details. Hit the major bullet points and let the other person know you have more information if they need or want.

In conclusion, Williamson and Blackburn list 10 behaviors to promote active listening, many of which I’ve written about before:

  1. Make eye contact.
  2. Use positive body language.
  3. Restate or affirm what the other person is saying
  4. Ask clarifying questions to help you understand.
  5. Wait to share your comments until they finish.
  6. Pause and allow silence if appropriate.
  7. Be fully present and avoid distractions.
  8. Keep an open mind.
  9. React to the content, not the person.
  10. If you take note, explain why, so they don’t think you are ignoring them.

Leaders must be good listeners to be successful communicators. Check in with yourself if your mind wanders and get back to focus, openness, and willingness. Soon, you’ll be actively listening to and engaged with the person speaking with you.

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Reach for Your Leadership Vision

I often write and speak on the importance of knowing your Mission and Vision. Missions focus on what you do. It’s your purpose or your “perspiration.” Visions are your “inspirations” and “aspirations.” They are where you would love to have happen. Both grow from your core values, your philosophy. And you can’t reach your school library Vision unless you have one for yourself as a leader. Without that self-Vision, it is difficult to step out of your comfort zone and the take risks leadership requires.

In Think Deeply About the Leader You Aspire to Be, Art Petty suggests you “mine for early influences and marry them to future aspirations to develop a clear picture of your desired leadership self.” Connecting what you’ve seen and done with what you want can guide you in constructing your leadership Vision using the following four steps:

  1. Start by exploring your leadership inspirations – Look inwardly and widely. Consider the values you hold. What are you passionate about? Who are the people you admire in librarianship and elsewhere? Why do you admire them? Petty suggests you look at the behavior of those people. If they had a direct contact in your life, how did they reach out to you? I became active in school librarianship and began writing because of the people who reached out. Their trust and belief encouraged me to leave my comfort zone.
  2. Spend time reflecting on your best self – Think of those moments when you were proud of something you did as a leader. You may have put together a difficult project or you gave a workshop for teachers, and they were all engaged and participating. Consider what you did to make those instances happen. What aspects of yourself as a person did you draw on? Think of the values that motivated your behavior and/or achievement. Look to the moments when you were proud of yourself and your behavior. It may have been how you connected a reluctant reader to the perfect book. Perhaps you turned a confrontation into the start of a relationship.
  3. Your Leadership Aspirations – Imagine this was your last year at your current position. You’re either moving on or retiring. What would you hope your students would say about their library experience? How about teachers and administrators? Take time to think about the legacy you want to leave, the impact you want to have, as a librarian and a leader and from that, pull out the pieces you want to include in your Leadership Vision.
  4. What’s most important to you as a leader? Petty recommends answering the following questions:
  • What do I care most about doing and achieving as a leader?
  • How will I guide, teach, and coach?
  • How will I support creating great results through others?
  • How do I want to affect those I come in contact with along the way?

My Leadership Vision is “School Librarians are recognized everywhere as vital leaders.” I know it will never be universal, but I always work to be a force for change. It inspires all I do.

Taking the time to see yourself as a leader and the impact your leadership will have on your library can inspire and should inspire you. Reach high and fearlessly create your own leadership Vision.  

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First Impressions

It’s an automatic response. We see someone or something and we make an assessment. With people, it encompasses our biases about everything. We notice skin color, weight, height, clothing, and a host of other outward signs. And while we are having that instant reaction, the other party is doing the same. Fortunately, there are things we can do to make strong and accurate first impressions that will support our success and create a strong foundation for new relationships.

In her article, Make a Good First Impression: Expert Tips for Showing Up at Your Best, Shonna Waters writes: “First impressions last. Whether they are accurate or not, it normally takes a long time and concerted effort to change a first impression. Because they are largely subconscious, first impressions are very persistent. Even in the face of contrary evidence.  Because of our implicit biases and cognitive biases, we see the world and other people through our own set of filters and make decisions based on them. All of your relationships are affected by the first impression that you make.” So how can you make first impressions work for you? Waters top suggestions are:

  • Make eye contact – Before you say anything, making eye contact sends a message of trustworthiness while giving you the opportunity to notice your own reactions and (possibly inaccurate) impressions of the other person. Waters says eye contact indicates you are listening and engaged. At the same time, notice if the other person has returned the eye contact. Are they open to listening to you or just waiting for the conversation to end as fast as possible? This is important information that can help you to know how to continue the conversation.
  • Smile – A genuine smile puts people at ease and creates connection. You want the smile to reach your eyes, or it looks phony (yes, wearing masks makes this harder, but we’re getting used to it.). If you’re nervous, try thinking positive thoughts. This will help your brain activate a real smile.
  • Dress for the occasion – How you look makes an impression, so be aware of what the situation calls for and how you can convey your awareness by your clothes. Dressing appropriately sends a subtle message that you value this interchange. Dressing for success is always wise. And for job interviews, the advice of “dress for the job you want to have” holds true. Remember to be mindful of what you might be doing as part of the day. Comfortable shoes go a long way for an extended interview or presentation.
  • Be a good communicator – Listen more than talk. Pause before answering a question. Restate it to ensure you understand what is being asked. This allows people to notice your communication skills. And remember to really listen—hear what is not being said. Whether asking a principal to support a new program or going for a job interview, we tend to hear the parts we want to hear. Did the principal understand what you meant by digital literacy or were they not aware of all the aspects you meant? When the principal said their library was the heart of the school, what did they actually mean by that?

Outside of face-to-face interactions, remember your library also makes a first impression. It’s a good practice to pause occasionally before walking in and taking in the room as though you were seeing it for the first time. What message is it sending? Is it the one you want? If not, how can you change it? If it is, how can you strengthen it?

We can’t monitor or control all the first impressions we make. There are too many. But if you can stay aware of the ones that are important, you’ll be able to support your success by starting new relationships on the right foot.

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The Story of 2022

Stories are a constant part of our lives. As librarians, we read them to others and to ourselves. We also tell ourselves stories, consciously or otherwise, about who we are, how we are doing, and what we are capable of. They can also help us to plan for what’s ahead – no matter how unpredictable that might be. So—what story do you want to tell about 2022?

Start by asking yourself a few more questions. What do you want to see for your library program? For your professional life? For your personal life? As the of-quoted Yogi Berra said, “If you don’t know where you are going, you will wind up someplace else.” Even though life takes us off our original course, goals can help us to reorient when this happens.

Now that you have answered those questions (or ones like it), think of what steps you need to take, what plan of action is needed to achieve those results. Yes, life put roadblocks, speed bumps and unexpected turns in your way, but knowing your goal allows you to adapt and modify as needed. As a bonus, you build resilience as you go.

Elana Aguilar’s post The Resilient Educator/ How Year-End Reflection Fosters Resilience gave me the idea for this blog. In it she writes about having a word for the year. Aguilar says it should, “encapsulate your hopes or commitments.” I’m going to go through this process with you so you can see where you might start. I decided my word for 2022 is Discovery. No matter what happens, I will come to the end of the year knowing more about myself, and how I can be better at what matters to me and be a better person.

In creating your story of 2022, Aguilar advises reflecting on the past year. Among the questions she proposes you ask yourself are:

  • What happened? – So much has occurred it isn’t easy to recall it all. Your first response is likely to be all the negative events, nationally, professionally, and personally. As you continue to remember and reflect, the good things begin to emerge.

For me this includes almost completing a new book, teaching online courses at Montana State, and making new friends. I also had the opportunity to see family again after 2020’s isolation.

  • What did I feel? – Sorting this out can be more challenging than reviewing what happened. Your emotions have undoubtedly gone from some deep lows to some triumphant highs – and back down again. We have been on an emotional roller coaster.

As you identify your feelings for the various events, go one step further. How did you react? Did the negative ones send you deeper into despair or did you summon the courage to find a way to push through? Did you surprise yourself with what you were able to accomplish?

What about those triumphant feelings?  Did you celebrate and congratulate yourself for achieving them?  Never forget you earned those moments.

I’ve been stressed at different times writing this book because it’s for an expanded audience, but I’m excited to reach new librarians. Teaching a new course at a new school required a slower start than I’m used to, but I had the opportunity to expand my cultural awareness. Seeing family? Priceless.

  • What did I learn? –  This is the most important question of all. If you don’t have a take-away, the experience, positive or negative, is wasted. Everything that happens to us is an opportunity to grow. It’s something we often ask our students after a lesson.

Every lesson we learn builds our resilience. They widen our perspective on the world and remind us of our strength. Knowing what we have achieved, whether dealing with challenges or achieving successes serves as a reminder that when faced with new obstacles, we have what it takes to deal with it.

As a new year begins with all the uncertainties it always carries, take the time to reflect. Where are you now? Where do you want to go? What Story of 2022 do you want to tell?

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Being Human

What does it mean to be a human? The biological definition doesn’t come close to the contextual meaning and the layers the word means to us. Over the years I have discussed many qualities of leadership, but human wasn’t one of them. A post by Kerry Azar, Great Leadership is Radically Human, has me thinking that I had missed an important quality. It encompasses much of what constitutes Emotional Intelligence, but goes beyond that to a new level.

Our first thoughts of what a leader is tends to focus on their dynamism and vision. Someone who gets things done. This is true, but it’s only about the “doing.”  We are human “beings.” How we act and behave is more important. In our dealings with others, we need to be human. Being that way is how great leaders behave.

In her post, Ms. Azar writes of being “radically human.” She defines it as, “showing up (in) more transparent, authentic, vulnerable, empathetic, passionate, and compassionate ways.” When you are human, you behave as such wherever you go. Others respond on a deep emotional level to that kind of leadership. Think of the administrators you have had who you admired and loved working for. They were undoubtedly human beings. They cared. They pitched in when needed. They were supportive. You felt safe in going to them with a problem, knowing they would help.

We all know humans make mistakes. Being transparent and vulnerable about these mistakes makes you real. You don’t hide your doubts. You welcome input from others. We are never perfect. Accepting that in yourself and others creates that safe, welcoming environment we strive for in our libraries.

Being passionate shows our values and core beliefs. Anyone who meets me knows I am passionate about school librarians being leaders and intellectual freedom. Letting your passion show lets people know what matters to you as a person. It also gives them the freedom to share who they are. This is how relationships are built. And we are in the relationship business, so being human is good for our work.

Azar also talks about “kintsugi,” a Japanese art form which repairs broken items by putting them back together using precious metals. The restored item doesn’t look like the original but it “maintains the integrity of the original creation while creating something even more beautiful and enduring. Kintsugi is a suitable metaphor for how a great leader deals with our pandemic-challenged world. When we view it as creating something new amidst the broken and perhaps something better, we help ourselves find the direction forward. This allows us to lead the way, helping others do so as well.

Being radically human isn’t easy. Azar suggests we take time to ask, “how am I getting in my way”, not to look for where we’re making mistakes, but rather to look for how to be more transparent, authentic, vulnerable, empathic, passion and compassionate. When we do that, we will find our way forward and be able to grow through what life brings us.

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Imposter Syndrome Redux

Now you’ve done it. You’ve taken a step out of your comfort zone. It’s not even a big step, and suddenly the Imposter Syndrome has returned. You know better than to listen to it, but somehow you can’t shut it out. Imposter Syndrome is widespread no matter our gender, field, or level of expertise. It shows up at all point in your career, and it continues to appear as you become increasingly successful. Many of the most powerful people face it in their lives.

As a reminder, Imposter Syndrome is that voice in your head that questions if you’re good enough. It suggests you are out of your league, everyone is going to realize you are a fraud, and you are going to fail. It’s the voice that always knowns the right things to say to shred your confidence. It appears when others are going to see something you have or are going to do. People are going to be judging you. Are you going to measure up? Or are you going to be found out?

So how do you deal with it. Alaina Love’s post, Overcoming Imposter Syndrome, offers 4 steps to take to overcome it. Maybe some of these tools will help you when you’re faced with it:

  1. Examine Your Inner Demons – What happened in your past that continues to haunt you? What project didn’t go as planned? What are you expecting or fearing will go wrong? Love recommends writing some of these down and reviewing them. By examining your concerns head on, you will likely see the places where you’re being unrealistic as well as where you’ve succeeded in the past (even when things didn’t go exactly as planed). We can take away from Imposter Syndrome’s hold on us when we see where it is bringing up old fears not valid concerns.
  • Create a New Narrative – Now that you know where your thoughts are creating issues that aren’t there, we can take the time to envision true success, something that actively stills the negative voices. Love points to athletes who mentally go through an upcoming game and rehearse their moves. Envision yourself as succeeding in your challenges, picture the successful end result, and think about how you will feel to see this through as a way to override the message from the Imposter Syndrome.
  • Rein in Your Quest for Perfection – The need to do it perfectly is almost inherent in why Imposter Syndrome shows up. Excellence, not perfection, is the goal. The bigger the project, the more room there is for making some errors. You will never get it all right, but that doesn’t mean you weren’t a success. After the project/presentation/etc., instead of focusing on what went wrong (because that’s what we always notice first), reflect on and write down what went well and where you’re pleased. If there were problems, take time to learn from them and see what you could have done differently, but keep your focus – and inner voice – on the positive.
  • Make a List of Your Successes – Keep a record of your small and large successes. Create an e-portfolio or some other record if that helps. It is amazing the achievements we can forget as we move on with our lives. As I said in last week’s blog, You Are Successful Now. Keep track of that success and reduce the Syndrome’s appearances and how long it stays. Love refers to this record as a “highlight reel” of your accomplishments. It is something to review as you take the next step out of your comfort zone – and for when your Imposter Syndrome starts squawking. Use it whenever your mind begins that negative talk, possibly doing it every day.

Knowing how to manage Imposter Syndrome is an important tool. I have written about Imposter Syndrome in my blogs, discussed it in some of my books, and included it in several presentations, and still there are times when it has power over me. If you’re going to be a leader and stretch out of your comfort zone, Imposter Syndrome is going to come back. Love’s recommendations can help you manage it when it appears. (It wouldn’t surprise me to learn she had to face down her own Imposter Syndrome when writing it.) Find ways to own, remember, and build on your successes, and that pesky voice won’t get in the way of your next steps.

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You are Successful Now

Do you see yourself as successful, or do you consider success something off in the distance? Unless you have recently completed a major project, you are more likely to think you are doing well, but nothing special. It’s not negative thinking exactly, but it certainly isn’t positive.

We tend to see and find what we are looking for, and we train our brain to confirm our thoughts. If you believe what you do is ordinary but find other librarians’ creativity and knowledge remarkable, you won’t see your ongoing achievements. As a result, you won’t feel like a leader or present yourself to others as a leader.

The truth is, you are successful. I can prove it. You are successful when you teach, and when you find that perfect book. You are successful when you help a teacher out. You are successful when you see a student stop and look at a display or bulletin board you created. When you make a difference, no matter how small, you have been successful. There may be many successes you’re missing. When you take the time to notice, you find what you’re looking for – this includes success. One thing I do to help me notice these moments is writing daily in a Success Journal. Every success is a step in the right direction and seeing it written out can help you own it.

In his post, Tracking Your Accomplishments: Why to Do It, What to Document And How to Follow Through, Joel Garfinkle echoes my recommendation about recording your successes. He has even more reasons for doing so. Among them are:

  • You will forget – Of course you will especially when you don’t even notice many of them – and when the next problem/crisis/need is grabbing your focus.
  • Everyone else forgets – When you keep track, you’ll be able to share the specifies of your success when it’s time for your annual evaluation or when someone asks why you think a project will work..
  • You will be interview ready – No position is 100% secure, and even if you’re tenured, a change in administration could have you wanting to move on. Having a record of your successes allows you to be prepared – and remember the reasons you’re valuable to the schools you work for.

He suggests tracking the following:

  • Comments from your boss, clients or other stakeholders – For you this includes students, teachers, parents and perhaps other librarians as well. Take note of how they see your work and contribution.
  • Successful projects – In addition to writing the details of what happened, take pictures for your record (or portfolio). Add any comments you received (was there media coverage or postings of an event?).
  • Positive results from your efforts – Be clear about what goal(s) was achieved – intentional and unintentional, expected and unexpected. Make notes on the impact that you and your work made.
  • Regular responsibilities you have fulfilled – It isn’t only the big things that demonstrate your successes It’s also the successful day-to-day functioning of your library. Getting through that routine is definite accomplishment. And, back to the earlier comment, your principal is not likely to be aware of all you are doing unless you tell or show them.

Yes, tracking your successes might feel like one more thing for the to-do list, but as you see your successes add up, you might look forward to doing it. Find a time of day or location that works best for you. I keep it by my computer and track as I achieve something positive. This has the added benefit of giving me a boost of joy and motivation to tackle the next thing on the list.

Take the time to discover how successful you are. It will change your mindset. And that will change how people see you. Me? I’m going to put “wrote my blog post” on today’s success list. What’s going on yours?

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Courage Sees You Through

The Wizard of Oz was on television over the Thanksgiving weekend, and every time I watch, I learn something new or am reminded of ideas that have gotten buried. This time I was struck by the triumvirate who were Dorothy’s companions and support on her journey. The Scarecrow, Tin Man, and Cowardly Lion represent three qualities necessary for leadership: brain, heart, and courage. You need Brains to plan. Your Heart guides you and brings you the relationships that strengthen you. And then there is Courage. Courage makes it possible for you to take the risks to change what is and go forward into unknown territory.

As the avatar for Courage, the Cowardly Lion is frightened most of the time. He often wants to retreat, but the Scarecrow and Tin Man haul him back. In the end, his true courage comes through because his commitment to Dorothy is so strong.  Like the Cowardly Lion, you need to be courageous in the face of fear and your commitment to your Mission will be what helps pull you forward into leadership, change and whatever risks may be necessary for both.

Summoning that courage is not always easy, even when you have the brains and heart to know you must leave your comfort zone. In her post, “Why Courage Is Essential If You Want Power Over Your Life,” LaRay Que notes we all fear the unknown.  Fear can paralyze us, keeping us huddled safely within the walls of our library. But in the long run, the walls won’t keep you safe. Staying hidden is the behavior of prey. While I am not suggesting you be a predator, you do need to soar.

How do you soar? How do you get past the grip of fear? Que says you begin doing it by acknowledging your emotions. Trying to pretend they are not there doesn’t work. Fear is a strong emotion that brings out our bodies response to threat. Our cerebral cortex, the logical processing part of the brain, cuts out. Our lower-level brain (commonly referred to as our lizard brain) takes over, and we go into flight/fight/freeze. Professionally, freeze means we stay quietly where we are.Que says, “Courage begins by examining your emotions.”  She recommends making a two-column list of pros and cons. As you see where the gains are and what might hold you back, you can begin to make a reasoned decision about what you should do. She recommends these three ways to make this work for you:

  1. Identify the call or challenge that is in front of you – What is the “why” for doing this? What will it give you as a result? How will you grow as a leader? As a person? What might you lose or miss out on if you don’t do it? One example might be stepping up for a leadership position in your state school library association. Or moving up to a national association for librarians. You could gain experience, connections, confidence – or miss out on all of this if you freeze.
  2. Pinpoint when emotional courage is needed – Where is fear rooted? What will you need to do that is creating your high-level anxiety? Consider where or to whom you can go to talk this out. Plan how you might handle it if and when it occurs. With a plan or support in place, your mind becomes calmer about the possible situations, and your fears diminish. They won’t go away entirely, but like the Cowardly Lion (and Wicked Witch or no Wicked Witch), you will push through it.
  3. Claim power over your own life – I love this idea. We do what we can to not to let others control us (professional and personal responsibilities we cannot avoid not withstanding). The same should be true of fear. Don’t let it decide for you. You can control your reactions and behaviors when fear comes up. There will always be something to fear. Don’t let that stop you from doing what you know you should do or from the results you are looking to have.

Part of the magic obvious to the viewer in The Wizard of Oz, is that all of Dorothy’s friends already have what it is they think they want – brains, heart and courage – and she needs all three to get what she needs. This is true for you as well. You’ve got big goals. Your head and your heart know the way forward. Embrace your courage – it’s definitely in there – and if necessary, give yourself a medal.