This is the season both for giving and receiving. When we stop to consider, there are so many ways to give, and each one brings a reward. Finding ways to give to those in your community brings returns many times over in the value placed on you and your library program. When you think about how you contribute, most of us focus on the roles the library offers to students and teachers. While that is vital, the underlying perspective others have about you and the library comes from the one-on-one ways in which you give.

In his article for Rolling Stones, The Courage to Give in a Take-First Economy, Chris Schembra observes that our fast-paced, reactionary world has caused leaders to become short-term thinkers rather than long term visionaries. This does not serve us in building the connections and relationships we need to demonstrate how much we are worth to teachers, students, and administrators. To reverse the trend of fast responses, Schembra proposes five steps for those in the business world which apply to us in education as well. Here they are with my usual additions to make it more relevant to how we interact with our community.

1. Pause – One of the bracelets I wear on my wrist and see frequently, reminds me to breathe. We move so frequently on auto-pilot, we don’t take time to think. As Schembra says, “This is why the pause is no longer a luxury; it’s a discipline.” He refers to it as “micro-courage” (and courage is on another bracelet I wear). We need the time to consider what the individual we are responding to needs, how fast, and what is the best way to give it to them. We also need to pause to better form our response rather than reacting quickly.
2. Ask Better Questions – Be sure you and they know what is really being asked and required. A teacher or student may ask for something they think will answer their need. If you listen for the purpose of the request, you can ascertain whether something else will provide a better solution. When you do this, you are tuning into them, seeing them as an individual, not a problem to solve. Scherma says, “…extraordinary leaders aren’t interesting. They’re interested.”
3. Collective Momentum – This is a reminder that we all do better when we do it together. We are not in competition. When we strive for connection and collaboration, we discover the truth of Mudita, “a Buddhist principle, means taking genuine joy in the success of others.” When you help someone, it brings an inner smile to you both and joy in seeing how happy the other person is. A specific complement can also do the same.
4. Generosity in Action – We don’t admire the takers. We admire the givers. When your report to your principal promotes a teacher’s learning project with students, the principal becomes aware of the connections you create. They are also likely to let the teacher know about it which supports the possibility of future collaborations. Generosity can also be as small as having coffee and snacks available in your office for teachers when they need a break. And if they come to you for that break, don’t ask questions until they are willing to share. Sometimes they desperately need that quiet moment, a pause in the pressures of the day.
5. Appreciation – Scherma notes, and it has been my experience as well, that, “A sincere, specific thank you, in my experience, increases engagement.” Taking time in a world that rushes from one thing to the next to stop and offer a meaningful acknowledgement goes a long way. And, if you’re so inclined, consider dropping off a handwritten thank you note to a teacher or principal. You can even do thank you notes to students for how well they helped someone or contributed to a lesson. It feels so good to receive one and it is long remembered.

In his Final Thoughts – Scherma concludes, “Givers build deeper customer loyalty.” When we build customer loyalty in our world, we build trust and ever-increasing connections and relationships with our students, teachers, principals, and even parents. As a result, the library thrives and is regarded as invaluable. Giving (along with last week’s gratitude) is a vaulable feel-good tool in our leadership arsenal.