Grace as a leadership tool? Yes!

The word “grace” is usually associated with religious practices, but it goes beyond that and used properly, it can deepen your leadership ability. One of the many definitions of “grace” given by Merriam-Webster is “the quality or state of being considerate or thoughtful.” With that in mind, it is easy to see grace-based leadership as a natural outgrowth of the recently popular concept of servant leadership, which is about leading from a place of being clear on who and how you wanted to serve.

While the business world struggles to incorporate either or both of these leadership styles, they are natural to school librarians and the work we do. Even as the pressures on teachers and librarians grow, bringing grace into our lives (treat ourselves) and our leadership (treat others) is very powerful and has the potential to have a huge impact..

In her blog article, Short fuses, high stakes: An argument for grace-based leadership, Julie Winkle Giulioni says that Grace-based leadership is  “the ability to meet people where they are — with patience, understanding and compassion — while still upholding clear expectations and accountability.” She then offers six practices to incorporate in your daily interactions. Giulioni is speaking to the business world, so I have tweaked these to match our world. Keep in mind these apply when working with all of your audiences: students, teachers, administrators, volunteers, parents, and more:

1. Make space for humanity – Due dates matter but so do people. Pressures abound. Recognize these feelings as you deal with students, teachers, administrators – and yourself. Things will be late, mistakes will be made. It’s part of the process.
2. Assume positive intent – Jumping to conclusions is easy, particularly in stressful times, but it only exacerbates the problem. There usually is a reason for someone’s anger/frustration/challenge. Be curious as to what is driving the negativity rather than making judgements. Come from a place of “they’re doing their best” and you’ll have a different perspective and response.
3. Respond rather than react – It is natural to respond with hostility when someone directs a negative emotion at you. Remember to pause and breathe. It will lower your temperature and blood pressure, allowing you to give a more reasoned response and give you a chance to do the first two steps (space for humanity and assuming positive intent).
4. Honor multiple realities – We know from the political climate, we aren’t going to be able to convince someone who holds an opposite position that your belief is correct. As librarians we serve the whole school community, even (may especially) those we don’t agree with. Find a common ground among your differences.  It is part of how your build relationships.
5. Offer “soft landings” for hard truths – This is particularly helpful with students as Giulioni says to frame “feedback respectfully, focusing on behaviors and results.” It also applies when you need to explain to a teacher or administrator why you want to tweak their plan. People don’t want to hear ‘no’. Find a better way to share what you have to say.
6. Hold people capable, not just accountable – Part of your feedback should recognize the other person’s abilities and strengths. It’s also knowing they have a “Why” for what they did or didn’t to that is as important to them as yours is to you.

Giulioni adds these three suggestions on how to Grow in grace which I am quoting directly:

• Use curious language (“Help me understand…”) instead of accusatory language (“Why did you…”).
• After a mistake, lead with support first (“What do you need to get back on track?” or “How can I help?”) before jumping to blame.
• Share your learning moments openly. Modeling self-grace normalizes growth and reduces fear.

And when practicing grace, remember to offer it to yourself because you deserve at much as everyone around you. Leaders need to be gentle with themselves just as they offer this to those around them.