Posted on by hildaweisburg

Build Your Confidence

Leaders are risk-takers. You can’t make changes or achieve your Vision unless you take risks. But risks imply the possibility of failure. (Did you get a sinking feeling in your stomach?) In order to take on the challenge of stepping out of our comfort zones and taking risks, we need to build our confidence. As with learning anything new, it starts with baby step. Just like exercising, the hardest step is lacing up your sneakers—or in this case, determining to build your confidence and take risks.

In Build Confidence in Yourself and Your Leadership, Gregg Vanourek lists the various benefits of confidence (including improving health and boosting attractiveness and creativity!) and goes on to list these steps for developing self-confidence:

Focus more on areas of our capability and achievement, and less on areas of weakness and struggle—What are you good at? You may be crafty and/or have artistic ability. Use it to decorate a wall outside the library to call attention to it. Do you write well? Try a newsletter. Are you great at tech? Offer an after-school teach-in on a new resource for students or staff.

Set and meet goals that lead to personal and professional accomplishments– If you have big goals (and most of us do), look for the small ones that will get you there. You don’t have to conquer the world on your first forays. Look at your Mission and Vision. What small goal can showcase your Mission and/or get you closer to your Vision?

Switch off negative self-talk, self-criticism, and limiting beliefs—More than any actual circumstance, this is what stops us most of the time. We judge ourselves much more harshly than we would anyone else. Noticing this negative inner dialogue can help us take risks and build confidence.

Swap in positive thoughts for negative ones—Once you’ve taken steps to switch off the negative self-talk, go one step further by talking to yourself as though you were speaking to a friend. Look to previous successes, positive feedback, and glowing responses.

Face our fears and, in the process, build a sense of agency and capability–What is the worst that can go wrong? Whatever you think that might be, you will recover, learn, and be wiser the next time. You can use the experience to bolster your creativity.

Stop the unhealthy practice of comparing ourselves to others—Never compare your insides to someone else’s outsides. Typically, we focus on their strengths and don’t notice that, like you, they have weaknesses, too. (And you never know when they may see your strengths and compare themselves to you.)

Continue learning, growing, developing, and building new capacities—Work on areas of weaknesses, but also build your strengths. Our world and our profession are constantly evolving. Grow with it.

Engage in consistent self-care practices—You can’t feel confident if you feel drained and exhausted. Make yourself a priority. You have heard this before. Knowing that increased confidence is a byproduct may make you more willing to take care of yourself.

Speak up for ourselves (self-advocacy)—This can be challenging, but it’s a necessary part of leadership. Remember, it’s not about you. It’s for your program. Look for ways to showcase and promote it to as wide an audience as you can.

Stop thinking in terms of fixed traits (e.g., “I’ve always been bad at math” or “I’m not a confident person”)—Have you ever thought “I am not a leader”? Let go of this belief. You are if you are willing to be. And your students, teachers, and program need you to be a leader.

Think about a time when we felt high confidence and ask how we’d act if we were feeling that way now—You have been successful in the past. How did you feel? You are still that person. Tap into that feeling, remember that energy, and use it going forward.

We know that failure is part of the learning process. We teach that to our students. Yet, when it comes to our own behaviors, we stop short. All we see is the possibility (probability) of making mistakes. Confidence is a combination of mindset and efficacy–the knowledge that you have the ability and the resources needed to complete a task or goal. Have confidence in your knowledge and resources and go for your goals!

Posted on by hildaweisburg

Calming Your Inner Turmoil

Over the next weeks, the school year will begin again. Much as we love our jobs, it’s not easy to step back into work as responsibilities and tasks, old and new, fill our to-do lists. Time management skills notwithstanding, it’s a challenge to slow down and focus on what needs to come first. What is the priority? What is urgent? 

The old slogan, “haste makes waste,” is a reminder that if we go too fast, we will skip things and miss what really needs to be done. But knowing this and doing something about it is difficult when people are coming to you, sending emails, and demanding your immediate help.

In Inner Peace — Be Cool, Calm, and Collected, Frank Sonnenberg offers fifteen guideposts to calm your swirling brain. To help you find a little focus and calm try any one or more of these:

Accept Responsibility – In our frustration, we sometimes blame others for what is going wrong. Sonnenberg reminds us to recognize our part in making the choices we did.

Find Your Purpose–Look to your Mission and core values. Post them where you can see them. Review them as you start your workday and connect to the positive feelings they bring to you.

Live with Honor – You are a leader. Integrity is an integral component of that leadership. People need to count on you. You keep your word and don’t compromise the core values you hold.

Be Reasonable–This is with yourself. Perfection is an illusion. Excellence is the goal–but know when good is enough. Not every task requires the same level of effort. Save your time and energy for what really matters.

Develop Trusting Relationships–Our relationships support us, and we need to support them. Reaching out and helping brings people to us. Our integrity keeps them. We build advocates and extra hands when needed.

Make Everyone a Winner–Putting others in the spotlight and giving meaningful compliments makes people feel good. The practice makes us feel good as well. Definitely a win-win habit.

Be Thankful – Gratitude for what you have rather than longing for what you don’t gives you a better outlook on life. This translates into how you present yourself to others. They are then more likely to respond positively to you.

Strive for Balance – Sonnenberg reminds us the journey is as important as the goal. Those you meet along the way, the time you give them, are as important as meeting the deadline you set. Make the time for family and friends. And make the time for yourself.

Learn to Say “No” – Set boundaries for yourself. You can’t do everything. The fuller your plate, the less likely that important stuff gets all the attention it needs. In dealing with teachers, try “what if we….” By offering an alternative that requires less of your time, you will do a better job and stay calmer.

Live in the Moment–Whenever you can, don’t worry about past mistakes or potential future failure. You can’t change the past (although you can learn from it). You don’t know what the future will bring, so worrying about it is a waste of energy.

Unclutter Your World–This is an extension of living in the moment. We have so many conversations with ourselves during the day. Too many of them are negative. Be kind to yourself. You deserve it.

Control What You Can–You can’t control others’ behavior or what life throws at you. You can control how you respond and act. And the choices you make are what define who you are.

Be True to Yourself–This includes living with honor. It also means seeing who you truly are and celebrating you. You earned it. Be proud of what you achieve and how you achieved it.

Build Good Karma– Doing good is no guarantee of good karma, but, as Sonnenberg says, “seeing others’ happiness is, by itself, a worthy reward.”

Hold Your Head Up High–Be proud of yourself. You are a good person. When you start by believing in yourself, others will follow.

Don’t try to do everything on this list! You’ve got enough to do. Choose the ones that speak to you, keep them in mind and to help you stay calm as the new year gets underway.

Posted on by hildaweisburg

My Imperfect Self

I am not perfect. We know humans are imperfect creatures. So why do I spend so much time worrying about the things I should do better or be better at, not to mention all the imperfections in my body? “If only I…” is too often a part of my inner conversations with myself, and I know I am not alone in this.

In my forthcoming book, The Art of Communication: A Librarian’s Guide for Successful Leadership and Advocacy, I cite an article claiming we “speak” over 4,000 words to ourselves each day. Too many are self-critical. It is time to recognize that these flaws are often an integral part of who we are. While self-improvement is a worthy goal, reality says somethings won’t change. For example, I am a talker. I have learned to not be the first to rush in with an answer- most of the time. But I will always be a talker.

How can we learn to accept and love who we are, who we are not, and who we will never be? Mike Robbins offers five ways to Love Your “Flaws”. Even seeing the word flaws in quotes is a good reminder of where we are judging ourselves—possibly incorrectly. To make a change, he suggests:

  1. Acknowledge What’s True for You—Honestly identify your flaws. There’s no need to run from or ignore these aspects of ourselves. If we want to make a change, we have to be clear about what needs changing.
  2. Admit and Express the Underlying Emotion- What do you feel about these flaws? Robbins says, “If a specific aspect of your personality, body, or career bothers you and you find yourself feeling ashamed—as uncomfortable or negative as it may seem, the best thing you can do is acknowledge and express your shame.”  It’s normal to feel shame or embarrassment about these flaws that you think are keeping you from being your best.
  3. Forgive Yourself—We always judge ourselves more harshly than we do other people. Flaws are a part of all of us. As a friend of mine once said, “Don’t judge your inside by someone else’s outside.”  You notice only that the other person doesn’t have your flaw, but they see the flaws and struggles in themselves.
  4. Appreciate—Robbins asks us to value what we have learned about ourselves and life by recognizing our flaws. Knowing and acknowledging our flaws has given us opportunities for learning and doing better. Instead of focusing on the negative, we can be grateful for these lessons and how we’ve grown.
  5. Love—As you don’t withhold love and caring from others, no matter their flaws, you deserve to love yourself as well. You are a whole package. Think of the friends you have. We expect and accept imperfections in others. We need to do that for ourselves as well.

Celebrate yourself. You do much and mean much to so many people. You would never put a friend down. Be a friend to yourself and offer yourself compassion and support when all you’re seeing is your flaws.

Posted on by hildaweisburg

Building Trust

Earning and keeping the trust of others – students, teachers and administrators – is key to your success. More than trusting your expertise, they need to know you will be able to deliver on your promises and be there for them when needed. Trust takes time to build, but it can be quickly lost.

Building trust is rooted in integrity. Keeping your word, honoring confidentiality, and other elements of honesty are vital. But trust is an emotional state, which means other more subtle factor contribute to its growth. In The Leadership Trust Crisis, David Livermore discusses the fact that trust in leaders (political, corporate and others) is at an all-time low. This means that relationships are shaky. He identifies five factors that affect the development of trust. Applying these can help you deepen the connections with the people in your building.

  1. Likeability – You get to know people you like. In the process, trust is developed. But what makes someone likeable? It often begins with a smile that goes beyond the superficial. It continues when you show you are interested in who the other person is. Sharing who you are extends the connection. Give people a chance to know and like being with you. It takes time, but it pays off.
  2. Competency – Livermore poses three questions on this: Do you have the skills to lead us? Can you communicate effectively? Do you know what you are doing?  As a librarian, this is where you excel. When we are aware of trends, new learning opportunities and the most recent tech resource or even teaching approaches (think inquiry-based learning), teachers see us as leaders and feel confident in coming to us with questions or concerns.
  3. Intensions – Are you in it for your success or do you care about mine?  What is your overarching purpose in putting this project together? Your everyday behavior sends messages to other about your character and integrity. We (usually unconsciously) make judgements of others based on their actions. Teachers and administrators are doing the same about you. Make certain you are treating others right and demonstrate that you care about the collective success. For example, when a project is complete put the teacher and their students’ outcomes front and center. Give credit to them. The library’s role and yours will be obvious. Their trust in your intentions builds.
  4. Reliability – Do you follow through on what you promise?  Can others see your commitment to living your Mission for the library? This relates to your integrity but is also about delivering in a “timely and consistent manner.” What did you tell your principal were your goals for the year. How did you hit them? In building trust – and the relationships that go with it, they need to know you can be counted on to do what you said and get it done on time.
  5. Reputation – This is the sum of all the others. How are you seen and thought of?  The stronger your reputation, the more others will trust you. The more they trust you, the more willing they are to work with you – and hopefully seek you out. And each time they do you grow as a leader.

I once had a teacher tell me she wouldn’t schedule a class with my co-librarian because she felt my co-librarian didn’t like the kids. That doesn’t work. Students learn more when teachers and librarians work together. The collaboration is formed on relationships, and relationships are built on trust. Look for ways to promote other’s trust in you and you’ll find your relationships and program getting stronger.

Posted on by hildaweisburg

Are You Being Defensive?

Last week I wrote about the importance of listening. Somtimes listening is most significant when what’s being said is not something you want to hear.

Whether it’s intended as criticism or feedback, how do you respond when someone says something negative about you? Most of us immediately rise to the defensive, although some go on the offensive. Neither is the best course of action. The word “immediately” is the cue. Anytime we react without thinking, we are apt to make a mistake. Responding from our emotional first reaction is in gear is likely to produce a damaging result.

Whether it’s an administrator, teacher, student, or parent who made the comment, as a leader you want to be seen as someone who respects what others say. It doesn’t mean you agree with them, but you also don’t want to attack them. A defensive response is an attack, as its purpose is to invalidate what the other party said. And a relationship damaged by defensiveness can be hard to repair.

Lolly Daskol shares How the Best Leaders Overcome Their Own Defense Mechanisms. These five ideas, coupled with my comments, can keep you from reacting in the moment,

  • Cultivate self-awareness–Use your Emotional Intelligence (EI) to prepare you for these situations. No one likes to be criticized, but it happens to us all. Daskol suggests you recognize what your triggers are and how you are likely to react. Whether the comments came in a one-on-one or where others were present, your response will affect how people see you as a leader.
  • Make room for acceptance–One of the best tools a leader can have is the ability to pause. Settle yourself mentally. Take stock of your feelings. Daskol says to accept them without judgement in order to respond in a way that will move you forward with this person and continue to build on your relationship.
  • Hold yourself accountable–You may not have liked what you heard, but was it true? It may have been presented in a way that was hard to hear but listen for the message. While the method of delivery may have caused your trigger response, there is likely a kernel of truth in what is being said. Leaders take responsibility for their actions and learn from their successes as well as their setbacks.

Thank the party for calling your attention to a potential problem. Your open way of handling the criticism may even lead to developing or deepening a relationship. After, Daskol recommends you reflect on how you handled the situation. Did you respond reasonably? Remember, you can’t control how others think or behave, but you can control yourself.

  • Break the code–Rising to your own defense is natural. It’s a survival skill that animals as well as humans have learned. However, we are not fighting for our lives here, and the ingrained behavior doesn’t serve us in this instance. It takes work to change an automatic response, but it can be done. Starting with becoming more self-aware of how you react in these situations will help in resisting that immediate response and allow you to behave in a productive way.
  • Lead from within–Every time you avoid a deep-rooted response and substitute a thoughtful one, you grow as a leader. In addition to self-awareness, EI requires self-management. Leaders need to continually build their EI. It makes others see them as trustworthy and empathetic to their needs.

None of us will never like being criticized, and a voice in our heads will always rise to our defense. The object is not to let the criticism derail you. By moderating your response, hearing what the other person is saying, and responding appropriately, you will continue to be seen as the leader you are and want to be.

Posted on by hildaweisburg

Listening is Leading

When we ask someone “Are you listening to me”, we’re typically expressing our exasperation. We don’t feel as though what we’re saying is being heard, and that’s frustrating. But what about the reverse? Are we really listening to what others are saying? And are we listening to ourselves?

Active listening, like emotional intelligence, is an important skill to master. So many messages come at us, verbal and unspoken, it can be hard to focus during a conversation. However, the skill is too valuable for our leadership and for our lives in general not to work at getting better at it.

Learning to listen opens the door to expanding relationships, which is key to our ongoing success. In Nine Practices All Leaders Share, Dr. Alan Patterson shows what can be built by improving your ability to listen. Some of his advice is more of a reminder, but reinforcing the basics helps you reach the next level in your leadership. Here are Patterson’s recommended practices, annotated:

  1. Listen with Intent—Focus on what is being said, not the answer you plan on giving. It’s about respect. If you can, use restating to keep you on track and let the other party know that you think what they said matters. It’s an early step in relationship building.
  2. Ask Probing Questions—After listening, go deeper to increase connection and understanding. “Could you explain?” and “Why?’ take you past restating and opens the discussion. A good leader needs to know the concerns and issues of those they work with, whether it’s teachers or students.
  3. Study People—Listening includes reading body language and other non-verbal cues. Be careful about the implicit biases and judgements we all make. You need to see and listen to what the person inside is telling you. It’s not easy, but it is a skill worth developing. Patterson adds that as you get to know a person, you learn what is important to them.
  4. Share observations about the broader horizon with your team, colleagues, and senior leaders—Share your Vision and how you think it can become a reality with teachers and administrators. Contact teacher friends who you think would be open to trying something new and collaborate. School vacation is also the best time of year to have a meeting with your principal and outline your path for going forward. Listen for their responses so that you can see how your work will support them as well.
  5. Look for opportunities to engage in a dialogue—Have conversations that are not only about work problems or situations. Patterson recommends asking “how” and “why” questions to better understand what people need and want. Relationships, connection, and advocacy grow when your colleagues see you are aware of and responsive to their needs. Knowing who your colleagues really are–including as people outside of school–develops the relationships critical to your success. And when they answer–listen with intent and ask probing question.
  6. Practice translating a project or concept into the language of the audience—We do this all the time when we are teaching students. Use the same thinking process when making a presentation to a group, whether it’s parents or a grade/subject meeting. This is not the time for “library language.” What do they already know? What do they need to know? Why? What do you want them to do as a result? Using language that everyone understands makes people feel included and allows them to listen to you better.
  7. Translate vision into individualized responsibilities for your team members—Whether it’s students or teachers with whom you are collaborating (or cooperating) with on a project, be sure all concerned know who is doing what. This will show that you’re listening to what they need and that you’re available if they need help. And be sure to acknowledge their work to the principal.
  8. Trust that your success is based on your ability to create the conditions for other to succeed—You need feedback. That is an important part of listening. Ask in such a way as to get an accurate response. “What did you think of the project?” is not likely to get any helpful feedback. “What could I have done better?” or “Was anything missing?” will get the discussion started in a meaningful way. And listen to the responses you are getting. Receiving feedback builds trust.
  9. Focus on impact and meaning—Reflect on your week. Where did you make a difference? Where do you want to go next? Go an extra step. Ask others where they saw themselves making a difference–and listen to their answer.

Listening is at the heart these leadership skills. It’s also at the center of building the relationships you need to be successful as a leader in a school. Take the time to listen to others and yourself and you will find yourself making a greater impact.

Posted on by hildaweisburg

Get Your Motivation Back

Finally, it’s summer break. Time to recover and rejuvenate. And to get your motivation back. You need the time to recover, but summer will slip away before you know it. First, take the time to relax, and then set a date to get yourself ready for the fall so you can bring your passion back to your job.

Need some ideas to spark your motivation? Eric Barker gives some great advice in his article How to Stop Being Lazy and Get More Done – 5 Expert Secrets. While being stressed and exhausted is more our issue than being lazy, his tips will work to help us get on track for a successful school year. Here are his 5 with my usual comments:

  1. Define Goals Properly – Barker recommends four steps to get clear on your goals.

Frame goals as an “end” not a means –By identifying what we want to get, we don’t focus on the boring, “don’t feel like it” steps. We want our goals to excite us, not feel like an added burden.

Keep goals abstract – Rather than focusing on the “How” something is going to get done (more inline with SMART goals), think about your “Why” as you write them.

Set “approach” goals, not “avoidance goals – Keep it positive. Don’t focus on the negatives, such as not doing something. Be aware of the outcome you’re working towards. Bonus points for being clear about how this aligns with your Mission and Vision.

Make goals intrinsic, not extrinsic – Don’t make this about what you think you should be doing. What is it you want to be doing? What excites your passion? Creating a goal from this adds to your ongoing motivation.

2. Set a Target – This is where you can be specific. By when will you start? When do you want to finish? What are some of your target numbers – students reached, modules completed, teacher collaborations. Be clear on the steps you wish to accomplish. And as an additional recommendation, make the steps small so you get lots of wins along the way. The goal and a target together support your motivation.

3. Monitor Your Progress – Keep track of all the targets you achieve. It spurs you on. This is why I keep a Success Journal next to my computer. You can create a spreadsheet, keep a log, reward yourself. Whatever works, so you see the steps you’re taking.

4. Beware the Long Middle – Life is a marathon and so are goals for the school year. As the days go by, it can get harder to keep pushing through, and this is where you can lose that motivation. Every so often, pause and note how much you have accomplished. Barker recommends you “shorten the middle.” If you’ve been tracking progress monthly, switch to weekly. If weekly, switch to daily. The extra boost will help. When you are past the midpoint, look ahead and note how close you are to your goal.

5. Think about Your Future Self – This is an important shift that allows you to look at the bigger picture. Baker writes that thinking about our future results allows us to make better choices in the present. Reflect on the difference between how you’ll feel about yourself if you keep putting off the hard work rather than going for something you are passionate about.

Wherever you are on your summer break, this is a short reminder that you can have fun and still be productive. And when the school year does begin again, these five tips can keep you going. Recovery is important. But set a date to get motivated for fall. Put it on your calendar. Set an alarm. The important thing is get started.

Posted on by hildaweisburg

Communication Channels

Every conversation is an opportunity, yet many are wasted or don’t use the best channel for a particular communication. With our limited time, we can’t afford not to use these interactions to get the maximum possible benefit.

In looking at these different channels, keep in mind that the underlying purpose of any conversation is building relationships. When we get to know people better and allow them get to know us, ties are forged, and future advocacy developed. As a leader, particularly in these times, you need all the supporters you can get.

Joel Garfinkle focuses on 5 of The Most Effective Communication Channels at Work. Each offers a different opportunity. The challenge is to know which one to choose for a specific purpose and what you can accomplish.

In Person – This gives you the best opportunity to learn more about the other person. You have a host of non-verbal cues, including body language and even appearance, to help you understand and communicate. In Person is the perfect channel to meet with your principal or other administrator (as long as your principal knows the meeting is happening).

Summer is the ideal time for this meeting when your principal is less harried, and there is less likelihood of interruption. This meeting is especially important if you have a new principal. Your past achievements don’t count.

This is the time to learn their vision, what they want to achieve, and a perception of libraries and librarians. Share your mission and vision and spin it to show how you and the library can support their goals. Use your knowledge of body language to recognize when it’s time to bring the meeting to an end. It’s best if you can do this before the principal does. Change channels and follow up with an email — or a handwritten note—thanking them for their time and highlighting one important take-away.

Video Communication – We have all become Zoomers. Within the school setting this isn’t used as much as now that we’re back to in person classes, but it offers some interesting possibilities.

If you are fortunate enough to have several librarians in your district, a Zoom meeting can help in unifying how you deal with similar challenges. While not the same as in person, it does help you to get to know your colleagues better and build those relationships. You lose some ability to read body language and eye contact isn’t as clear, but it’s a good start. Consider this channel for reaching out to the public librarian.

Phone – These are best for shorter, more direct conversations. Garfinkle recommends you check at the start to be sure this is a good time to talk. The phone is best used for setting up an in-person meeting or reporting in on something. Be specific, clear, and quick. Stay focused on your purpose. You might want to have notes to keep you on track. Follow up with a confirming email. Without any visuals to guide you, listen for verbal cues to hear if the person sounds rushed or background noise that hints at distractions.

Voice Mail – Sometimes this is the only option. You called and the person didn’t pick up. Be prepared to leave a succinct and clear message. Identify yourself and, if necessary, give your preferred call back number. Repeat that at the end of the message – slowly. Keep your message focused on the reason for the cal. Garfinkle advises if you are not prepared to capsulize the reason for your call, hang up. Get your thoughts together then try again. Smiling as you talk will help you sound upbeat and increase the chances of being called back. Your tone is your most important signal in this method.

Email – Although Garfinkle likes this channel the least, it continues to have its place as long as you are aware of potential pitfalls. The first rule is to keep it brief. People are busy and often don’t read all the way to the bottom. They are also often checking on their phones and so are reading on a small screen.

The next rule is to proofread, particularly if it’s an important communication. Spelling errors have a negative impact on you and your message. Also check to be sure your language is clear and is unlikely to be misconstrued. Obviously, this is not the place for sarcasm and emojis aren’t appropriate in the work environment. All you have are your words in this form of communication – no tone, no inflection. Clarity is key.

Before hitting “send,” make sure you haven’t included people who shouldn’t get this message in the “To” section. A “reply all” can get you in trouble. We work so fast, it’s easy to make these mistakes. If it matters, take time to get it right.

Knowing the best channel for initiating conversations is an important leadership skill. Don’t waste or miss your opportunities to reach out and build those vital relationships.

Posted on by hildaweisburg

How Strong is Your SPINE?

The recent rise in book banning and attacks on school librarians have made our already stressful lives even more so. Dealing with challenges – or anticipating them when preparing a book order— has been something school librarians have typically faced alone. But the nation-wide organized campaign has taken the issue to a much more intense level.

ALA, AASL, and many of our state library associations have joined with other groups to respond and defend intellectual freedom and freedom of access to information. The resources on ALA’s Fight Censorship page keep growing. But at some point, it’s one school librarian making a choice that will impact their lives and the lives of their students. Until recently, that private decision didn’t stress or threaten job security for most school librarians. Today, we are all in the crosshairs, and the stakes are higher than ever. How do you decide?

In Leading with SPINE, John Baldoni presents the following acronym to guide you in taking stock of how strong your spine is, and possibly what you might want to do to strengthen it.

Strength – Are you standing up for your beliefs? Speaking out? This is one of the hardest things to do. Silence is consent, but voluntarily choosing to put your beliefs out in the open, leaving yourself open to attack is scary. Look for others who do it and stand with them. Speaking out as part of a group is easier and helps you build that strength.

Principle – Baldoni equates principle with your purpose. What is your Mission? Are you acting in a way that furthers or hinders that Mission? He quotes Confucius, “To see what is right and not to do it is want of courage, or of principle.” Your choices need to be in support of your Mission whenever possible.

Integrity – Integrity is always cited as a core leadership quality. It describes who you fundamentally are. You keep your word and behave justly. It’s living with a moral code. Politicians and companies are often accused of not having that moral compass that guides their decision-making when they act only in their best interests. What is your moral code, and how do you live up to it?

Nurture – This is a great addition which refers to developing others’ capabilities. Leadership is not about creating followers. It’s about creating more leaders. You need your spinal strength to help them grow strong and take on the risks of leadership. It also includes nurturing yourself. What are you doing to grow as a librarian and a leader? Who are you learning from?

Energy – Being a leader is hard work. It requires Vision, self-reflection, and assessment. It means not being satisfied with doing a good job but looking to do a better one. With so much of library ethics and core values under attack, we need to keep growing and learning. Becoming more knowledgeable about how to get the word out and build advocates will strengthen our spines. Build and create momentum that will help carry you through the challenges.

Our spines hold us up, physically and metaphorically. To be spineless is to not have the courage to do what we can when we can. Being a librarian takes courage. Although we are stronger together and getting stronger at dealing with the book bannings, the reality is there will come a point when it’s just you making a decision for your library potentially taking a huge risk as you take a stand. Hopefully, we can all do our best to strengthen our SPINE.

Posted on by hildaweisburg

Dealing With Avoidance

Procrastination and avoidance may look outwardly similar, but their internal differences need to be recognized. Procrastination can be healthy, such as when used to give your brain a rest. Yes, it can be overdone, but normally you get back to the task. Avoidance has few positives. It refers to something you know should and must be done, and you keep doing other things hoping it will go away. It could be a dreaded task or a conversation you don’t want to have. At its core, it is a form of denial.

We cannot not avoid most big things in life. Avoiding something doesn’t make it go away, and often makes it worse. And it looms in our minds adding to our stress. Leaders need to face the tough stuff.

In his blog post, What Are You Avoiding, Gregg Vanourek lists what we most commonly avoid, why we do it, and the problems caused by avoidance. He concludes with a list of 14 ways to stop doing it. They are brief, and many you have heard before, but they are worth reviewing and recognizing.

  1. Recognize our avoidance behaviors—but without beating ourselves up over them – You can’t deal with a problem unless you recognize it’s there – and is a problem. Whether it’s choosing less important tasks until you have used up all available time or waiting until you are in the right frame of mind, there is a pattern for you. Be honest about it.
  2. Seek their root causes (continue asking why until there’s no deeper why) – There are reasons for our behaviors. What are we afraid of? Do we fear we can’t do it? If so, why do we think that way? Our brains try to protect us, but sometimes they prevent us from developing further.
  3. Engage in relaxation and self-care activities such as deep breathing, meditation, yoga, gardening, art, or journaling – These can be key ways to understand what you uncovered in the first two steps.
  4. Get support from a friend, mentor, therapist, and/or coach – Support is a great means of dealing with a tough problem and getting past avoidance definitely qualifies. Reach out to the people who will talk you off the ledge and help you get back on track.
  5. Process emotions by talking them through with someone or journaling – Similar to the previous one but focus on the underlying emotions, not just the actions. Emotions are powerful controllers of our behaviors. The journaling or talking will help you identify them and see how they are getting in your way.
  6. Divide the problem into smaller, more manageable chunks – Once you can see both the behavior and the emotion behind it, chip away at it by breaking it into manageable steps.
  7. Start with an easy task to get momentum and small wins- As you divide the task, look for the small pieces you can start with. Early victories create momentum.
  8. Give ourselves motivations, such as rewards for accomplishing tasks – Acknowledge the achievements as you take these steps, no matter the size. It will keep you going.
  9. Reframe a situation to note the positives and avoid focusing only on the negatives – What are the positive emotions you’re noticing as you take these steps? Look for these rather than how far you have to go (remember #1 – don’t beat yourself up!)
  10. Change our inner monologue, quieting the negative self-talk – The words we use when we talk to ourselves are extremely powerful. Give yourself a break. You are getting there.
  11. Practice communication skills, including assertive self-advocacy – Speak up for yourself. We frequently avoid difficult conversations and topics, including advocating for what we need.
  12. Set deadlines and goals to commit to action by a certain time – Set a “by-when.” Make sure it’s realistic. Without that you are more likely to continue to avoid.
  13. Build action and proactivity habits, training our brain and helping us become a “doer” – Knowing your best time of day for getting big jobs done is the first step. Do the next small chunk then and celebrate you win.
  14. Recognize that doing something we’ve been avoiding can feel amazing, giving us a sense of agency, accomplishment, momentum, and confidence – It is liberating. That looming elephant that you have been pretending not to see is gone!  You are ready to take on the world.

You are not the only one who has avoided doing difficult things. It’s human nature. But if you keep dodging them, you don’t build the self-confidence you need to draw on to be the leader your students, teachers, and administrators need you to be.