How do you make your decisions? Do you make them logically or trust your gut and go with your emotions? Most would say they decide logically. But more than 80% of the time, this is not the case.

While we may be logical when doing grocery shopping and choosing between one brand or another (cookie aisle not withstanding), it is rarely true when making any significant decisions. What we typically do is make our decision emotionally and then substantiate it logically. Understanding the power of emotions, and how they are impacting you and those around you, will improve your communication and help you achieve your goals.

In his article “The Power of Emotions,” Kell Delaney explains, “Humans are fundamentally emotional beings, and our emotions often drive our narratives and decision-making processes.” Because of this, we identify our feelings as being accurate. The problems occur when interacting with administrators, teachers, parents, and students who have different emotional responses to the same situation. The result is miscommunication along with worsening the situation.

How can you arrive at something logical when emotions are in control?

Delaney says we need to advocate for our core values and create stories and visions that others can engage with and help shape. He adds that bringing in your vision and actively listening to others’ perspectives develops a collaborative narrative for mutual understanding and action. That’s a big promise.  How do we achieve it? My recommendation is to consider your audience – and bring it back to the students.

With Administrators – Whether it’s a budget request, a plan for a new library service, or anything that requires administrative approval, I lead with the students. How will this affect them positively? Do I have any student work to share that connects to my request? By giving them an emotional reason for what I want, I am far more likely to get a positive response.

With Teachers – While some teachers like working with you, others are resistant. Find a time to talk with them, complimenting them on an aspect of their teaching you’ve experienced, particularly their connection with students. Add that you would like to contribute to their success and offer, if you can, to handle any additional work that is involved. Listen carefully to their response and continue the conversation accordingly.

With Parents – While it has become a far larger issue recently, dealing with parental objections to what books their child has access to has always been part of being a school librarian. When a parent comes to you directly, acknowledge them for being an aware and involved parent. Let them know you will see to it that their child no longer has access to those types of books. If they want to have the books removed, share the values of school librarians according to AASL standards.  When the charge comes at a Board of Education meeting, draw on parent advocates you have been building.

With Students – From “This is stupid!” to “Why do we have to learn this?” there are always students who resist doing what is required. Ask them what they would rather learn. That will pause the narrative. Many will be surprised by the question. Recognize their desire to learn (hopefully) along with their concerns with this lesson, then ask them to participate and see if the lesson provided an answer to their question or an interesting experience.

We are all under stress. Be ready for what is apt to be a contentious school year by readying yourself with how to deal with this paradox between logic and emotion. Knowing how to harness emotions, and not avoid them, to reach a reasonable way of dealing with an issue is key to creating a better work environment.  You will be a more effective leader and school librarian as a result.