The adage “perception dictates reality” may not seem fair, especially if it appears we are being poorly received, but it is the truth, and you must be aware of it. Especially because we need to be ready to change these perceptions if we are not creating the reality we want. As unnerving as it might be to be truly honest with yourself, take time to think — how do people see you?

To find the answers, ask yourself what are you putting out there for people to see and react to? What do the teachers see, and therefore believe, about you? Do they see your enthusiasm for projects or your frustrations about limitations? The administrators? Are you a budget drain because that’s the only time you talk to them or are you an integral part of their team because you let them see how the library supports their goals? How about the students? Are they so excited about what happens in the library they tell their parents about it or is this a place where they can goof off because you’re not paying attention?

The perceptions of your stakeholders affect your daily work life and your future. And its all happening under the surface. In his article, Mastering the Art of Perception: Crafting Your Professional Reputation Joel Garfinkle addresses this important issue. And while his audience is the business world, the concepts are also true for us.

As he says, “The truth is impressions often outweigh performance.” In the article, he makes these four salient points:

1. The spotlight is on you – You are always being observed. By the time your principal makes a formal observation, they have been watching for quite some time. Teachers come into the library and see how you are dealing with students. Or they never come into the library. In both cases they have developed perceptions about you and the library. Garfinkle says, “Whatever you’re doing and how you’re behaving now will impact you long into the future.”

2. What people observe matters to them – As with perceptions, this is emotionally based. How does what they are seeing connect with what is important to them? When working on developing collaborative relationships, knowing the other person’s wants and needs is key to making the connections. But they have assessed whether you can meet these wants and needs before you start the conversation. They need to know you’re aware of their goals – before the conversation happens. Make sure you’re always showing your engagement.

3. Everyone is always forming opinions – It is somewhat daunting to think someone passing you in the hall while you are speaking to someone else is forming an opinion about you. It may be a totally insignificant one, but it happens. Just remember, you are doing the same thing. We are constantly “on.” You don’t want to be putting on a performance throughout your workday to make sure people get the “right” impression. But when you are out and about, you need to be aware of how you may be seen by. You don’t want to the be the one always complaining. You do want to be aware of the goals and focuses of others.

4. Perception is at the heart of decisions – Garfinkle keenly observes, “impressions often override performance.” If this weren’t true, you would not need in-person interviews to be hired. Your resume would be sufficient. To get a clearer idea of how others see you, consider asking a trusted colleague to tell you how you are perceived. Ask for positives first and then negatives so your colleague won’t feel uncomfortable about letting you know any unpleasant truths. Then work on improving how you are seen. It might not be fair, but it’s true – perception is reality.

There are so many things we can’t control in our workdays. The more conscious we can be of how we are perceived, the better our results. If this is new to you, it’s going to take some getting used to, but you can do it. Leading is, after all, an ongoing learning process. We can’t afford to be anything less than the best possible leaders we can be. That, too, is a reality.