EDITOR’S NOTE – This blog about a specific and contained type of triggers. More serious, lasting triggers need a different kind of attention and help. Please get the support you need and deserve.

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What is a trigger? A month ago, I wrote Look for Glimmers and Find Joy which discussed how Glimmers were the opposite of triggers. Both cause an unanticipated emotional reaction. The first is wonderfully positive. The second can cause us any number of negative effects including damaging our relationships and how people perceive us and our program.

Glimmers and triggers are opposite in one other way. You have to notice glimmers to appreciate them. Triggers slam into you without any invitation.

While triggers take you unaware, if you are going to deal with them, you need to recognize when you are having a trigger response. This isn’t easy when your emotions are taking over.

Andrea Mein DeWitt’s article, A Leader’s 3-Step Strategy to Being Less Emotional, Reactive, recommend you Name, Claim, and Reframe. This approach will give you skills to modify what could be a damaging response from you. Notice that she references “leaders.” Leaders can’t allow triggers to affect how they react in a given situation.

Here are her steps:

1. Name – Look for the source of the trigger. (This is not like noticing glimmers, but in reverse.) She asks you to identify what is causing you to react rather than respond – an important distinction – and what specific emotion is in play. Also note what, if any, of your core values have been attacked. For example, book banning and malicious name-calling is on the rise leaving us emotionally exhausted. We are tired of explaining. When one more attack comes, particularly if it comes from what we thought was a friendly source, we can explode.
2. Claim – Now that you know where your reaction came from, what can you do about it? De Witt wants you to identify the action(s) you can take to bring you back to your core values. Take your ego out and think what might have caused the person to say/do what then triggered your reaction. Then, look to what can you do to get the conversation back to the issue at stake. Rather than responding by saying “we are not…(insert charge)..” turn to the positive, reminding parents, teachers and administrators that,“libraries need to be a safe, welcoming space for all.” From there, you can better discuss what to do.
3. Reframe – This helps you to move on positively from a stressful conversation. DeWitt says to ask yourself what you learned and what is now an opportunity to use your creativity. Which of the ideas you came up with will produce the best results and promote your Mission and Vision? Notice any new resources you can now use. As you reflect on what happened, you might decide to do a bulletin board or infographic identifying how libraries create a safe space. Perhaps mention the Mirrors, Windows, and Sliding Doors concept. Do something interactive such as having teachers/students anonymously post notes on the bulletin board saying how the library/librarian made them safe and welcome.

We are in the relationship business. With emotions running high and politics affecting libraries and librarians, we must do all we can to avoid being further sucked into the intensity of the triggers and stresses around us. Emotional Intelligence includes Managing Your Emotions for a reason. Leaders – and you are a leader – need to have all the tools possible to do it.