How self-aware are you?

Have you ever been out walking and caught sight of your reflection in a store window? Were you surprised to see what you looked like? As the English translation has it from Robert Burns’ To a Louse, “Oh, would some Power the gift give us/To see ourselves as others see us!” We have an image in our heads not only of how we look, but, more importantly, how others see us as a person. One of the challenges as a leader, is being okay with not blending in. A leader has presence and embraces values and vision that are part of who they are – and that makes them stand out.

Do you know how people see you? It’s important to know. LaRay Quy provides three techniques for developing self-awareness and becoming a more impactful leader in her post, How Self-Awareness Allows Leaders to Make a Greater Impact:

1. Eliminate Inconsistency – Quy says, “how we see ourselves is often an illusion, and it can be dangerous if we misjudge how we come across to our colleagues and supervisors.“ In addition, when our actions are different from our thoughts/beliefs a cognitive dissonance is produced. This causes stress and leads to a lack of confidence. No one follows a leader who isn’t confident. To help, ask friends or colleagues you trust describe you. Does the description match your self-perception? Start noticing where/when the inconsistency shows up. Ask yourself what caused it? What would have been a better way to respond.
2. Identify Triggers – You may have noticed in the past situations that caused you to respond inconsistently with your values or to hide your feelings. According to Quy, trying to use will-power to prevent yourself from reacting to these triggers doesn’t typically work because your emotions are involved. Again, she says to check in with those trusted friends about how your reactions impact others. If you want some external information, consider taking one of the personality tests such as Myers-Briggs to help you understand why you do it. Understanding yourself is at the heart of self-awareness and can lead to changes and new habits that better support you.
3. Live Authentically – This is the ultimate goal – being the same person people meet, no matter where they encounter you. It does require courage at times. When you leave your comfort zone and want to succeed in a new situation, it is tempting to try to fit in. But you will be far more successful by being who you are. Yes, you make yourself vulnerable by being self-aware and authentic. But leaders are not wishy-washy. They are who they are. And that’s why people count on them.

Self-awareness is an underappreciated and powerful leadership tool. Your confidence in being the same person all the time inspires others to do the same. It empowers them to take risks and become leaders themselves. And as the saying goes, “A leader’s job is not to create followers. It is to create more leaders.” Be yourself – no one else can do it.