Our conversations are an essential component of building and maintaining relationships. Navigating them can be complicated. Last week I blogged on how to start a difficult conversation. This week, let’s discuss how to successfully end one.

We all know someone who goes on and on. Sometimes, the conversation is fun, but we don’t have unlimited time. What should you do? You have tasks to attend to. Whether it’s a student, teacher, or (yikes!) administrator you’re speaking with, cutting them off can cause hurt and damage the relationship. How can you bring the conversation to an end without impairing it? John Millen has some options in his blog post, 5 Best Ways to End a Conversation:

1. The Time-Conscious Approach – Millen’s favorite phrase for this is, “I want to be mindful of your time” and then continue by asking them what else needs discussing at this point.” By doing this, you are making it about the other person, showing your awareness of their needs, and guiding them into identifying the key points so that you are able to end the conversation while also having the information you need.
2. The Grateful Farewell – Look for a point in the conversation where you can say, “Thank you for what you said. You have given me something to think about.” It’s complimentary and true regardless of what you think of the other person’s ideas. At the same time, you have signaled strongly that you are exiting the conversation, while showing gratitude – something that strengthens relationships.
3. Non-verbal Cues – We all instinctively recognize them. Millen suggests slowing your speech to indicate you are about to or want to end the conversation. This is much like our recognizing the notes that typically end a musical piece. Be cautious, however, of excess body movements which will make the speaker sense you are bored, a pointed look at your watch or phone, crossing your arms, tapping your foot. These cause discomfort and push the other person away.
4. End on a Positive Note –A specific compliment is always well-received. Millen suggests, “I’ve really enjoyed our conversation. Your insights are really helpful.” And, if necessary, you can add, “Let’s continue this conversation at a future time.” In a few words, you have not only achieved your primary goal of ending the conversation, but you have paved the way to further build the relationship.
5. Practice Empathy – This is a reminder to treat other people the way we want to be treated. You might be the one who is going on too long, particularly when you are passionate about the topic. Consider the difference between someone saying to you, “We need to wrap this up, I have something that’s waiting for me,” as compared with them using one of the four other possible endings. And always thank them for their time and attention.

Every interaction we have either builds or detracts from our relationship with the speaker. The fewer mistakes we make in our communication, the stronger our relationships are and the more our constituents will continue to seek us out for help and support as well as be open to when we ask for assistance.  Add the skill of graciously ending conversations to leadership tool box. It’s one more way to enhance the perception of you as a leader.