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Walk Away and Get More Done

School librarianship has always been a demanding job. We work with the entire school community, keep current on the latest technology and its potential impact on our teaching, and manage the library environment. The last alone can be daunting with people dropping in while you are leading a class, creating bulletin boards and displays, getting books back on the shelves, sending notices to students, and writing reports to the principal. Just reading this list is exhausting, and it doesn’t include the pressure from book banners and the negative political climate.

You need to be the Energizer Bunny to get it all done. And therein lies the problem. How many of you don’t take a break? How can you when it feels like there is no time? You probably even eat lunch at your desk, if you do eat lunch, and jump up whenever someone needs you. You come in early. Stay late.

But an exhausted leader doesn’t plan well and is not truly efficient. As Larry Robertson says in his SmartBrief article, Want to be a better leader? Walk away, you need to take a break. Easy to say, but how do you do it and get everything done? Here are his thoughts along with my usual additions.

The power of walking away – According to Robertson, and my own experience, walking away allows you to see more. When you are so focused on doing what’s next, you lose that broader perspective. It’s the reason I always recommend making a point of entering your library (and the building) one day a week as though it were the first time you walked in. How does it look? When you are concentrating only what you have to do first or on the library, you can miss what is happening in your school. Stepping back allows you to see the bigger picture.

Misunderstanding what walking away means – It doesn’t mean abandoning what you are working on, it means clearing your brain. You are planning to create a new genre category and are frustrated by the logistics of it. You are getting up to speed with a new technology and are stuck. Do something else. The break clears your brain and gives you new impetus to get the task done. Walking away can also be more literally true. Sometimes your job, and particularly the administration can be draining the life from your passion. When I had a superintendent announce her retirement, I knew that my difficult principal was going to become a bigger problem. I defined what I would need in a new place, travel, library environment, school culture, and successfully job hunted. The move opened new opportunities that more than made up for my loss of tenure.

The simple practice any leader can develop – Robertson says go to lunch. As I mentioned, many of you are eating at your desk. You aren’t proving anything by being chained to your desk – or library. He also recommends going for a walk. That’s a practice that keeps me energized. My eyes stretch when I am not so narrowly focused on a screen. I get to breathe fresh air. I speak to different people along the way, and. I return with more energy and a better frame of mind.

Working without a break doesn’t work. Finding ways to stretch your body and mind by stepping back from what you’re doing both during the day and when you’re away from work. This gives you an opportunity to recenter and bring your positive mindset back with you. Then your whole body becomes more welcoming to others and better able to plot any new directions. You have become a better leader by simply walking away.

And now, I am going for a walk.

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Quieting Your Inner Critic

It’s a new school year. Were you eager to get back or were you worried? How is it going so far? What’s that voice in your head saying?

If you are a first-year school librarian there is so much uncertainty. Of course, this is true if here you are in a new district or have been moved to a different level. Even if you are in the same school and have been for several years, there is much to concern you. The job has always required a lot of responsibilities in many areas and the political climate around the world has caused more stress.

And uncertainty breeds self-doubt.

So it’s no wonder that your inner critic might be talking loudly and often to you. How can we quiet this noise in our heads that can derail our actions and our mindsets? John Millen, CEO of the Reputation Group, a leadership communication company, offers sound advice in his blog post, 5 Ways to Control Negative Self-Talk.

First, Millen explains what that voice really is and its cost.

The silent saboteur – That’s what it is. It’s an insidious voice, whispering things you would never say to a friend. It erodes your confidence and alters your behavior. Millen states: Negative self-talk is one of the most overlooked obstacles to success. It quietly erodes your confidence, damages your relationships, and undermines your ability to lead. You become less confident in your ability to do what you know what you can. The costs, with my comments, are as follows:

  • Imposter syndrome: You minimize your strengths, only seeing how other people do it better.
  • Fear of speaking up: You don’t suggest ideas to teachers fearing it won’t go well, and they will think you are inept.
  • Perfectionism: You keep delaying putting new ideas into practice because you are afraid if it’s not perfect it will fail.
  • Burnout: The pressure and continuous self-doubt take a toll. You hate going to work each day. You slog through, counting the hours till it’s time to leave.

To turn this around, here are Millen’s five ways to get control of your inner critic, again with my comments.

1. Name the voice – Know who is talking to you. Two of Millen’s names are “The Heckler” and “The Judge”. Choose one that works for you. Pick your favorite villain from a book, especially one where the hero defeats the villain.

2. Ask: Would I say this to someone else? – You know that answer. Of course not. What would you say to a friend who said that? What would you say to that friend instead?

3. Reframe the message – Watch out for absolutes like “I never” or “I always.” It’s not about being perfect (see above). Ask what you learned from it. That means you are growing.

4. Keep a thought journal – Those of you who are journalers can get behind this idea. Noticing the thought is a way from separating yourself from the emotions triggered by the thought. Seeing what you said and then recognizing where it’s not true will help silence your Heckler.

5. Practice self-compassion – Give yourself a break. It was a super busy day. You had a bad night’s sleep. This is part of self-care. We are all human. Remember – what would that good friend say to you.

Will this make your inner critic disappear. Sadly, no. But you can mute it when you recognize it for what is and implement these ideas for halting it. You are a leader and people are rightfully counting on you. Your inner critic is wrong. You are doing a great job. Make it a good year.

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Tips To De-stress

Are you stressed? That’s a really rhetorical question. Who isn’t these days? Even during summer break, and having the chance to take care of yourself, you’re likely thinking about what’s to come and what’s happening in the world around you.

The fact is stress is taking a toll on your body and your relationships all the time. And we can’t afford that. We have too many people who need us at our best – or close to it. Including ourselves.

In 10 Leaders, 10 Ideas for Lowering Stress, Amber Johnson synthesizes the ideas of ten businesses leaders, all feeling high stress. She divides the ideas into three categories:Work Strategies, Physical Strategies, and Mindset Strategies. I will add my library world adaptations to the business world view and hope that we all find way to lower our stress:

Work Strategies

Fix the root of the problem – Is there a way to fix the deeper causes of your problems. It’s not easy, and it may not be obvious, but it’s worth considering. You can’t change the political climate, for example, but you can find support and advocates for your work and collection. Make a list of a few things you can do. Get creative. Have you tapped into the resources offered by your state library association and the national library associations?

Let go of the little things – There are some things that are urgent and need energy and attention. But what doesn’t? Johnson asks what can you pause? Do you have to work through lunch? Would a walk or time chatting with school friends energize you more for the rest of the day? Think of ways to turn your brain off for a while and relax. And look for these places outside of work too. Can you get someone to clean your house? Mow the lawn?

Find your plug-and-play patterns – How have you handled stress in the past that worked? For me it’s winning an X number of computer solitaire games. Chances are things that worked previously will help you again.

Physical Strategies

Take care of your body – You know stress takes a toll on your body. It’s at the root of numerous medical conditions. Look for ways to actively start taking care of yourself. Get to bed earlier. Cut down on the frequency of junk food and choose healthier foods. Exercise or at least stretch a given number of minutes each day. If that’s too hard at first, do it for two or three days in the week. Start small and build.

Work with your senses – Johnson recommends the “54321 technique”: name 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste. What it really does is getting you to breathe and centers you in the moment rather than worrying about the past or being concerned about the future. When stressed our breaths become shallow, and we don’t get enough oxygen to our brain making the challenge worse.

Find ways to play – Those with young children or pets can do this easily. I love doing Wordle every day and posting my score on Facebook. My friends comment with how they did. Are you reading for pleasure? Is there  a hobby or craft you’ve dropped or want to pick up? Joy and fun can help alleviate stress.

Take a getaway – Weekend vacations are great for some. I love having a dinner or even a lunch with friends. A change of scene can make a big difference.

Mindset Strategies

Take care of your mind – Our minds are so powerful and the stories we tell ourselves have a huge impact on our wellbeing. As I have said in the past, I keep a Gratitude Journal where I record daily three things for which I am grateful and one way I give back. I also have a container with a small note pad in it. Whenever something wonderful happens to me or my family, I write it along with the date on a paper from the notebook, fold the paper, write the date again on the folded sheet and put it in the canister. On New Year’s Day, I take out the sheets, arrange them in chronological order, and read them to discover what a great year I had.

Draw boundaries – Johnson mentions ending your day by a certain time. I do that and also don’t take messages from my landline util the end of the day. To do this, you’ll need to know the boundaries, set the boundaries, and then keep them. This may have a bit of a learning curve, so give yourself some grace during the process.

Find the mantra that works for you – Whether it’s an affirmation or a simply a sentence that grounds you, as librarians, we know the power of words. Find one that works for you and pull it out when you need it. I remind myself of a story with the closing line, “This will change.” I also am using the words on a bracelet I was given as a birthday gift, “You Can.”

Stress is not going to magically disappear, so it’s imperative to find the coping strategies that work for you. Notice the ones you’ve been using – and if they’ve been working. If you need new ones, then add to your collection. For me, it always helps when I can find ways to laugh and find the joy in my life. You deserve that, too!

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Productive Procrastinating

Maybe the title seems contradictory, but for many of us – procrastinating is something we can’t stop. So what if there was a way to use it to support our goals.

Because, there’s always something to do. Even summer vacation isn’t fully a vacation. There are conferences to attend. Webinars and e-learning to improve skills. Books to catch up on for pleasure and professional reading. How have you done so far with those plans?

Even in retirement, I’ve had things to do. I’m just back from Philly where I went to the ALA Conference and learned more than I expected. I also achieved a goal I had of making contact with some colleagues about being an adjunct for their university. Then I returned to a full plate. I looked at my to-do list and got started finishing a book and updating a course I will teach in two weeks.

But my plans unexpectedly stalled when I discovered I needed help from the school’s IT department, who weren’t available because of the July 4th weekend. Instead of jumping directly into editing the book, I decided it was time to take a break. I felt a little guilty about it, until I reminded myself of Kris Ann Valdez’ blog article Can Procrastination Actually Boost Your Productivity and Creativity?  

Valdez quotes cultural strategist, Margaret Ricci who says after years of grappling and hating procrastination, she now embraces this time, noting “the time she spends incubating her ideas before her deep work begins ultimately benefits her outcome.” But there is an obvious negative effect of procrastination. If you keep doing it, the tasks will never get done.

The idea proposed in the article is to give a structure and balance to work and procrastination. You do both in in short sprints. First, you need to know the deadline (or set one). That gives you an important parameter. Then, determine what steps are necessary to reach completion. Then allow yourself a break when you complete a step.

I know I will play solitaire once I complete this blog. Depending on what needs to be done by when, I will allow myself only a set number of winning games before returning to the tasks. Some of you procrastinate by turning to your phone or social media. If you set up a structure for how much and how long, you will get back to work after the time you allowed for it.

The article by Valdez recommends using Fuel, Focus, Flow, to increase your productivity levels.

Fuel – Know how your energy level grows and depletes during the day. I know I am most creative in the morning. I couldn’t write a blog or a new chapter in a book if I started in the afternoon. Be aware of what you need to increase your energy level when it dips. Coffee or a snack is a simple possibility when you need a boost. Where does joy come in for you? I track all wins (like getting the blog done) in my success journal. Start one if you think that will energize you.

Focus – The article recommends gamifying working by doing something like seeing how much you can do in ten minutes. I estimate how long it will take me to write or edit something. I check on how I am doing, but it’s fine if it takes me longer. It still gets done.

Flow – Physical movement increases dopamine, the reward neurotransmitter. Fidget tools or walking pads allow for movement while staying at your desk. Heading out to walk frees my mind from clutter, and I can dictate ideas into my phone. And when I get new ideas or see how I can do something differently, it helps my mental well-being. What is your preference?

Valdez’ article concludes with these words of wisdom, “The goal isn’t to eliminate procrastination It’s to contain it, learn from it and use it as a signal.” If you can’t stop procrastinating, find a way to use it instead. With that, this blog is complete. I am going to play solitaire until I win one game.

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Create a Shut-Down Routine

Parents know that a before-bedtime routine for children allows them to slide easily into sleep. Why do we stop this? As a school librarian and a leader, you have a lot on your plate. Sometimes it may feel like you are going twenty-four hours a day, or at least every waking hour. But that’s not sustainable.

Your brain needs time to cool off as much as an athlete does after a competition or workout. I recommend taking short breaks throughout the day. Consider using some of your lunchtime, which may be skipping or eating at your desk, and take a walk (preferably in a place where you don’t get stopped and asked questions).

Dan Rockwell, the self-proclaimed Leadership Freak, posted this great idea in his blog post, 7 Habits to End the Day. These are his recommendations, along with my usual adds for school librarians.

  1. Leave before fatigue sets in – You want to do just one more thing now that the library is quiet. But then that one thing becomes another thing and now it’s late and you are exhausted. The Leadership Freak reminds us that, “Long hours yield diminishing returns. The longer you work, the less you get done.”  Leave. Do the thing tomorrow.
  2. Practice closure – You need to bring things to an orderly end so you know where you are when you pick things up the next day. As Rockwell recommends: “Create a simple ritual to end the day.” Write down the steps until you internalize the routine. These will become a signal to your brain that you’re stopping.
  3. Reflect briefly – This is always a calming process. The Leadership Freak offers several questions to guide your reflection, saying you should pick three. Among them are: How were you the leader you aspire to be? What did you do that mattered most? What’s tomorrow’s first move? Choose or create questions that work best for you.
  4. Prepare your desk for the morning – We know the benefits of this, but it doesn’t usually happen when you stay too long and leave in a rush. Get rid of any post-it notes you have attended to. Clear whatever garbage has accumulated on your desk. Put out what you need to see first thing.
  5. Set boundaries – You often have some work to do at home. The Leadership Freak says to set a specific time in the evening when you will do it and stick to that. Don’t do more than is necessary, and don’t take planned time away from family. Work can wait until tomorrow.
  6. Keep a work notebook at home – Don’t trust your memory. You don’t want to lose these flashes, but you can’t do things now. Knowing what needs to be done tomorrow or further in the future will keep you more organized and productive. And you won’t worry about forgetting.
  7. Get physical – Rockwell recommends mowing the lawn, taking a walk, playing with your kids. As I said earlier, I walk. I have friends who do yoga. There are numerous ideas online for what you can do to move your body. “Physical activity clears mental clutter.” Additionally, it improves your physical health, which increases your capacity and resiliency.

There are so many people who need you at your best. Your family, who you may be short-changing, as well as the people you serve in your school. Being the ever-ready bunny makes you prone to anger, forgetful, and careless. To be a better leader, learn to take a break and build a routine so you shut down at the end of the workday.

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Reduce Your Stress

Sometimes it feels as though I’m writing about stress every other week, but I am reminded daily of how many challenges we are all facing personally and professionally (come to the School Librarian’s Workshop Facebook page if you need support from those who understand!). And the short- and long-term effects of this stress are detrimental to our mental and physical health. The joy you felt at the beginning of your career feels like a fond memory. You may even be considering retiring.

But what we do is too important to allow ourselves to succumb to a hostile environment on top of our usual heavy workload. Unfortunately, when we lose pleasure in what we do, we cannot bring our best to our students and fellow teachers.

While humans can handle stress, they cannot function well when stress is constant, so once again, I want to offer some tools. Steve Keating in his article, Lowering Stress in Turbulent Times suggests these nine steps to help you deal with the continuous anxiety that has become a permanent part of our days:

  1. Control What You Can, Let Go of What You Can’t – Easy to say, hard to do. If you can’t control it, you can’t deal with it. What are the things you can control? Stop talking about the turmoil and focus on the things you need to do. Not simple, but keep reminding yourself of this. Consider a mantra: I will control what I can and let go of what I can’t. (Serenity prayer, anyone?)
  2. Set Boundaries with News and Social Media –You don’t need to read every post detailing the latest upheaval. Scan contents every so often but don’t read deeply. If you get a daily newspaper, read the headlines and perhaps the editorial page. Personally, I stopped listening to the news on the radio while driving. I listen to music instead. I arrive places in a much better mood.
  3. Maintain Healthy Routines – Stress can lead to unhealthy eating and affects your sleep. Keating says to, “Keep a daily schedule to create structure and stability. Maintaining control over your calendar has a surprisingly calming, stress-reducing effect on your life.”
  4. Stay Connected to Supportive People – Whenever possible avoid toxic people who drain you. You hopefully have a personal and professional network of those who support you – and need you to support them. Being with more positive people will lower your stress. Set up lunch or dinner dates. Schedule weekly calls. (And here’s a second plug for our Facebook group!)
  5. Use Physical Movement to Reset Your Mind –According to Keaton, “Physical movement helps regulate emotions; this is well known and proven. When you feel the stress building up, get moving.” I have mentioned in my blogs how important walking is for me. I need to get outside and move.
  6. Reframe Challenges as Opportunities – Let a challenge be an opportunity for you to look at things from a new perspective. It can give you a better way to do something or find a new and interesting path, collaborate with a new partner. I call these “chopportunities,” a term I learned at a conference workshop.
  7. Practice Gratitude –As many others have, Keating recommends looking for the good in our lives. No matter how small, nothing is insignificant when it comes to this focus. Before my workday begins, I journal three things for which I am grateful. It has shown me how fortunate I am.  I then get to my tasks with a positive mindset. I relate to people more positively and usually get that in return.
  8. Take Breaks and Breathe – Any athletic coach knows the value of a time-out. Turn off the negativity going through your head. Change your space, go into another room. Use a breathing technique such as square breathing or whatever you prefer. When we are tense, we shallow breathe. Take in some more oxygen and clear your brain.
  9. Seek Guidance if Needed – By now we know that there is no shame in seeking help. Unfortunately, even though we say this to others, we often don’t apply it to ourselves. We are supposed to be strong, capable, able to handle anything thrown at us. Very true – most of time. But personal and professional stress can pile up. Find a mentor or a professional but get the help and support you need. (Here it is – plug three)

Leaders are human. When we take care of ourselves, we give others the right to do the same – which is another way we can lead by example. So many people count on us. Allow yourself to do what is necessary to lower the stress in your life. Find ways to count on and care for yourself. You and those around you will benefit from it.

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Don’t Kill Time – Use It!

Most of us have a full plate. Our responsibilities are continually being added to. Our to-do lists are long. As soon as you cross something off, two more items take its place. And what about all the moments when we can’t get to what’s next on our list? We have doctor’s appointments, cars that need repairs, and why are the lines at the supermarket so long? This was supposed to be a quick trip.

And it seems to take forever before it’s our turn. If it ever is.

These outside interferences with our workflow and attempts at time management are frustrating, but there is something you can do. In his article Three Better Ways to Think About Time, Mark Sanborn offers you a way to be more productive when they occur. These are his recommendations along with my usual tweaks for our world:

  • “Fill Time” to “Fill Minds” – The first shift is from going from thinking “How will I fill this time?” to “How can I fill their minds?” Our goal is to prepare students for the unknowable future by guiding them into becoming lifelong readers and critical thinkers capable of navigating a rapidly changing world. Think about the short- and long-range outcome for an upcoming lesson you are planning and how it will impact your students, help the teachers, support administrators. You’ve been giving the time – use it to fill their minds.
  • “Kill Time” to “Mine Time”– Instead of thinking of how to kill time in the pockets of time we suddenly have (sitting in traffic, waiting in line), take ownership of it. You get so little time for yourself. Use these unexpected—and unchangeable—moments as a time for self-care. Read a book. Call a friend. Reflect on what’s working in your life. Count your successes (this is a favorite of mine). If you’re able, consider taking a short nap. As Sanborn says, what is important is extracting value from what you were considering dead time.
  • “Make Up for Lost Time” to “Make the Most of Present Time” – Sanborn notes we often try to make up for lost time. Again, he suggests we shift our focus.  Since the past can’t be undone, what can we do in the future? Be aware of what distracted you or wasted time in the past (doom-scrolling, anyone?) and do things differently in the moment. Know what time of day you are most productive. If you are like me, the mornings are best for you. Come in a bit earlier – and don’t turn on the lights in the library. That way no one will know you are there. Get a lesson plan done or other such task that requires your best. Then turn on the lights and officially start your day. Making the most of the present lessens the stress of the future.

Sanborn ends his article with this, “Moments are the building blocks of time, and when we treat each one with care, we’re not just making better use of our hours—we’re creating a life of purpose and fulfillment.” And that is why we are librarians and leaders. We seek a life of purpose and fulfillment. Our time and attention are precious, and the more we can choose how we use them, the more successful we are.

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Time to Nap

As a little kid, you probably fought against taking a nap. As a grownup, you might crave a one, but you have no time for it. You have too much work to do. But in reality, it’s more than a craving. You do need a nap, not only the break from work, but the time to quiet or focus your thoughts. Beyond the obvious self-care, taking some down time will give you the energy you need to be more productive.

Admitting we’re tired is common —it’s practically a badge of honor—but being willing to do something about it is less so. In her blog article, If You’re a Creative, Why It’s Probably Time for a Nap, Kristin Hendrix admits to how much she loves and uses naps and says says, “it might look like a nap isn’t working. But if it brings more clarity, energy, and creativity to the workday (aka increases productivity), I’d argue differently.”

If you work from home, scheduling a time to rest is possible. What about those of us who need to be at school? If you have an office, consider thirty minutes with the door closed. You don’t have to sleep, but if you turn off your computer and your lights, set an alarm, and give yourself the quiet, you might be amazed by how refreshed you are after – and how much more alert you for the remainder of the day. If you’re worried about falling asleep – consider drawing or coloring.

Another option, if weather and location permits, is taking a walk. If possible, walk where you’re not likely to encounter people. This is not the time for conversation. This is your introspection time. During this time, let yourself consider not only what’s on your plate but what’s coming and what you’d like to be doing more of. .Or you can take time to get clearer on your priorities and what you’d like to tackle first. Consider one or several items. By the time you return, you will be organized and raring to go.

If you are a napper and don’t want to risk being seen sleeping at your desk, Hendrix offers the possibility of dozing in your car. Don’t forget to set an alarm so you’re back on time. The results will be the same. But remember – this is not the time for answering emails, texting, or even playing phone games. This is your brain’s chance for a reset.

Hendrix notes, “expecting creative work to flow throughout (the day) isn’t reasonable. Making complex decisions and doing deep, challenging work is also difficult to do all day, every day. Unless we take that time away.”

In school, kids have naps through kindergarten. It helps them stay relaxed and focused in the afternoon. Maybe if we all had these pauses, students and teachers alike. we would have fewer behavior problems. Some schools have created time-out places as they integrate Social and Emotional Learning (SEL) into the day. It’s worth learning if this is a place you can use. And it’s definitely worth making time for that downtime for you.

As a leader, sometimes you need to just get away from it all. For just a little while. When you return, you will be rested, restored, and ready to go.

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Bring Aliveness To Your Life

Last week I wrote about how becoming aware of the glimmers brings more joy into your life. To benefit from glimmers, you need to notice them as they occur. Those instances are precious, and you can add to them by extending that focus.

With so much on our plates and so much stress in our lives, all too often we go through the day like automatons moving from one prescribed thing to the next. Whatever is next on the to-do list gets our focus – while we are also frequently thinking about what comes after that. In addition to becoming aware of glimmers, we must become an active participant, present in our lives. In other words, we need to be truly alive. Doing so will bring positive changes to mental and physical health.

In his article, Jack Craven explains Why You Need to Prioritize Aliveness, Starting Today. He defines aliveness as: “a sense of being fully awake, fully present.” According to Craven, overwhelming stress is the opposite of aliveness because it is a reactive state. To get started, he asks us to respond to these three questions:

  1. When have you felt most alive? – Think backwards from today – go in five year increments if that helps – and go back as far as you need. Was it a special occasion? Maybe it was viewing the recent eclipse. Go back as far as you want. One I remember is running as fast as the wind when I was a child. What moments can you recall?
  2. What does aliveness feel like to you? –What words come to your mind? For me, it’s exuberance. Others might choose serenity or laughter. Bubbly. Present. Make a list. We are unique. Everyone’s answer will be different. Whatever feels true to you is right.
  3. What could you do today to increase your aliveness? – With this memory and these words, begin what hopefully is a never-ending journey to add these steps into your life. What is one thing you love doing that brings you this feeling? When can you do it? (Today would be great!) The more you can intentionally add this to your life, the more you will become increasingly alive. And keep in mind, this is not a sprint. It’s a lifelong marathon.

 Some aliveness principles to consider:

Aliveness is always with you – It’s there. You have experienced it. Now you need to move it to a more central place inside you. Bring your awareness to it, and you will notice it more.

Prioritize how you want to feel each day, not what you want to do – An important change to your To-Do list. It’s about becoming a Human Being not a Human Doing. Craven says to set your mindset for the day each morning and keep that in focus as you go through your day. If it helps, write it down someplace you can see it.

Avoid calendar creep – This is when more and more is added to everyday. What gets pushed out? You – and this wonderful feeling. When your To-Do list becomes too long, stop and ask yourself: Do I have to do this? What can I let go? Who else can handle it? If it needs to be handled by you, make sure you’re also making time for those things that light you up.

We need to be in the relationship business. When stress overwhelms us, we are less approachable. And that is not good for building relationships. Or for our own health. It’s time to become alive and be a presence in and present to the world. Find what makes you come alive and add more of that to your life.

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Look for Glimmers and Find Joy

Joy is a wonderful feeling. It swells inside you and bubbles over. Life is great. Things are wonderful. When we consider what brings us joy, it’s usually the big moments: particular holidays, important events such as graduations and weddings. But wonderful as joy is, those special moments occur infrequently throughout the year. Unfortunately, we have too much in our lives that brings us down.

The solution? Find ways to increase our joy.

We can’t miraculously create more of those big events, but there is something we can do to bring “mini-joy” into our days: glimmers. Glimmers are micro-moments of joy – the opposite, in many ways, of micro-stressors. These are the everyday moments which give us a rush of happiness, a moment of gratitude, or a sense of calm, peace, safety and goodwill. That instance when some little thing makes you smile or even catch your breath. You might see a rainbow in a puddle, a tree that has burst into flower overnight, or received an unexpected compliment. Glimmers don’t last long, but they are special.

In the article What Are Glimmers and Why Are They Good for You? the Newport Institute explores how to bring glimmers into your life. According to the blog, the term was coined by Deb Dana who said, “[Glimmers are] micro moments that begin to shape our system in very gentle ways.”

While the times of joy are easily recognized, you need to be alert to glimmers as they appear. Glimmers are the opposite of triggers. One lifts you up, the other pulls you down. Some of the sample Glimmers given include:

  • Feeling the warmth of the sun on your skin
  • Getting a hug just when you need it
  • Stopping to smell flowers in bloom
  • Enjoying the feel of the sand between your toes while walking along a beach
  • Relishing the taste of your morning coffee or afternoon tea
  • Looking at a photograph of someone you love
  • Watching a child laugh or a puppy frolic

You can feel the positive effect these Glimmers have on you by how your body reacts. To get the best results from Glimmers, you need to collect them throughout the day. Six suggested ways to gather Glimmers are:

  1. Set a Glimmer Intention – Set a goal for finding a specific number of Glimmers per day. You can start with one and build on that as you become more aware of them. Pick a time of day to find one and keep your focus.
  2. Go Where the Glimmers Are – What places are you most likely to find Glimmers? I find them on walks. You might choose a playground, the library, or a special place in your home. When you know where they are – you can seek them out.
  3. Engage Your Senses – Glimmers can come from any (or many) of your five senses – and the more the better. The sound of birds chirping and the color of their feathers. The feel of the body wash on your skin and its scent as you shower. The taste of a favorite dish or a new one. The smell of a book – and the anticipation of reading it.
  4. Jot Them Down – Recording when you experienced one keeps the Glimmers present in your mind and reminds you of all the places they can be experienced. The Institute suggests a Glimmer Journal.
  5. Limit Screen Time – If you are absorbed by your devices, you won’t notice the Glimmers. And if you aren’t focused on screens, you will have more time to engage with people and/or things you enjoy, which brings more opportunities for Glimmers.
  6. Connect with Others –  Humans are, generally, social beings. Find and seek out people who spark Glimmers in you. And tell them of the special place they hold for you.

Glimmers are small, but when collected intentionally, the pay-off is big. Be on the look out for the many Glimmers in your life. You will be more joyful – and less stressed – because of it.