You are a relationship-builder. It’s one of your most important abilities. The relationships you create power and empower your program and the advocates who support it. To build relationships, you need to send clear messages. Unfortunately, there are many ways in which you can inadvertently garble it. Your communications are too important to the sustainability and growth of your program to chance them not being heard.

To avoid sending a mixed message, it’s helpful to be aware of ways in which it can go wrong and how to prevent that from happening. Wilson Luna in his article, Your Words Only Tell a Fraction of the Story — Here’s Why Tone and Body Language Actually Matter More, discusses a rule you probably don’t know and how to use it: Dr. Albert Mehrabian’s 7-38-55 Rule.

 Developed by psychology professor Albert Mehrabian in 1971, it states that “7 percent of meaning is communicated through spoken word, 38 percent through tone of voice, and 55 percent through body language.” It is astonishing to discover the words you use say only constitute 7% of what is taken in by the listener and more than half comes from your body language which involves your facial expressions, gestures, posture and eye contact.

Let’s try an exercise. Choose a sentence or two. Think of an emotion and then, saying the sentence out loud, convey that emotion using your vocal tone (pitch and pace). Repeat the sentence while thinking of another emotion. Let’s move on to body language by repeating the last exercise. Say the sentence with supporting body language. Now say it with contradictory body language. Can you hear the difference? Can you feel the difference?

Hopefully, most of the time, your voice and body language are aligned with your verbal message. The challenge is to be aware of times when the three or two of the three might not be in sync. To keep the communication channels clear, Luna offers these ways to ensure each of the ways you are sending the message you want:

Improving verbal communication: The practical ways

• Clarity and brevity – Keeping it short and to the point is always safest. Everyone is pressed for time. Don’t clutter up your message. This is particularly important in speaking with your principal.
• Intentional speaking – Think before you open your mouth. For important conversations, try mentally rehearsing your opening statement. Tell them what you most need them to know.
• Eliminate filler words – “Uh’s, ” “umm’s,” and “you know’s” block the clarity you are trying to achieve. Rehearsing helps here, too.

The 38%: Using your voice effectively

• Tone matching – Your tone of voice should match the message. The exercise you did with tone will help you keep them aligned. Don’t laugh off difficult news. Don’t assume good news will be met with more problems.
• Pitch control – Speaking in a high pitch makes you sound nervous, which the listener may translate as unsure. Low pitches transmit confidence. Women’s pitches are naturally higher than men’s which give men an advantage here. See if you can modulate your tone lower. Also, ending your sentence with an up pitch sounds like you are asking a question, which is heard as insecurity with your message.
• Controlled pacing – How fast or how slowly you speak can reduce the impact of what you are saying. Too fast and they may not hear every word. Too slowly and you might bore them, and they will tune out. Moderate is good for most things, with slightly faster speaking suggesting eagerness that pulls  listener in.

Strategies to improve nonverbal communication

• Maintain eye contact – The expression “shifty-eyed” shows what happens when you don’t look someone in the eye. On the other hand, non-stop staring can make a person uncomfortable, too. Luna says “avoid doing it regularly. Instead, use eye contact as a gesture when speaking.”
• Use facial expressions – Your face does most of your communication. A genuine smile goes a long way in getting your message heard. Do some mirror practice if you don’t feel confident with this. Head tilts also suggest interest, as does nodding when the other person responds.
• Use purposeful gestures and open posture – You want your body to be loose and responsive to the content of what you are saying. When watching a program, see how the actors use gestures. Note how politicians use them in their speeches. Crossed arms say one thing. Hands in your pockets, another.

Save these suggestions, particularly the rehearsal ideas, for when you need your message to be as clear as possible. Whether it’s a meeting with your principal or a job interview, knowing how to communicate with clarity and confidence will have them hear and recognize you as leader you are.