Posted on by hildaweisburg

Savor the Moments

We all lead hectic lives, rushing from one task to another, living by our to-do lists, our planners, our appointments. We are constantly under time pressure. When was the last time you savored something?

“Savor” is such a great word. The Cambridge English Dictionary defines it as “to enjoy food or an experience slowly, in order to enoy it as much as possible.” Slowly. Sounds nearly impossible. We usually take time to do this on special occasions, but there is more in life to savor beyond festive moments.

We do this work, hopefully, because we have a big “why” that allows us to embrace and enjoy our role as school librarians. As this year winds down, and many of us look forward to time away from work, it is time to take pleasure in savoring what we do and how our “why” impacts so many people.

In his article, The Power of Savoring: A Thanksgiving Reflection for Leaders, Dr. Ivan Joseph explains how savoring stimulates dopamine, the “feel good” neural transmitter. This “enhances motivation, reinforces positive behaviors, and builds pathways in the brain associated with hope and optimism.” Joseph offers these recommendations for you to bring savoring into your work life:

  • Celebrate Wins—Big and Small – Don’t let these moments pass you by. It’s not just your major triumphs, like getting a grant or starting a new program. It includes the little ones such as having a teacher thank you for a website to use in an upcoming project. Start a “success journal” to keep track of the wins. Give yourself a mental pat on the back – and look at it when things are stressful.
  • Build Reflection into Your Routine –Make time at the end of the day to think about all that occurred. Put it on your to-do list if you have to (I know… but it will be worth it). Focus on the positives. Consider doing it on your commute home as a way to transition out of your day.
  • Use Visual Anchors – Joseph advises having your awards posted where you can see them. You undoubtedly have served on a committee and been given a certificate in commendation of your work and service. If you received a thank you letter from a parent or teacher for something you did, have it framed and mount it in your office. Look at these confirmations of the contributions you make to the educational community. And if you don’t want to print out that email filled with praise – put it in a folder called “Savor” and go back to it when you need it.
  • Apply Lessons from the Best – Pointing to corporations such as Patagonia and HubSpot, Joseph says there is a performance return from savoring. Patagonia encourages employees to take time to enjoy nature. HubSpot uses “Cheers for Peers” where employees celebrate each other. Take a walk outdoors at lunch and savor the day. Send a note to a colleague letting them know you “see” what they do. Doing so is a way for you to savor that moment and gives them a chance to savor their own contributions.

The school year is heading into winter break. Put savoring into your life. Allow yourself to enjoy holiday preparations and time with family and friends. Savor the chance to sleep in, to read for pleasure, to watch a favorite movie. Taking time to savor the good will have you enjoying life more – and bring increased productivity when it’s time to return.

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Get Your Principal to Hear You

Does this sound familiar: You know what you want to make your program even more successful, but the resources necessary aren’t in your budget. You constantly hear how tight money and resources are. Is there any hope for your plans?

Yes, there is. While it’s true that budgets are notoriously challenging, there is always money somewhere. It just needs to be juggled. The skill you need to find some of this money directed at you is getting your principal to see why the funds should go to the library. Ande the best way to do this is to develop a positive relationship with the principal – preferably before you need the money. It will help immeasurably, but it is possible even if you haven’t.

Before going to your administrator, know exactly what you want and are asking for. This is not the time for vagueness. How much money is involved? Will the money be needed immediately or will the costs come in stages as the project continues? How much time is needed? Will there be anyone else involved at any point?

When you have your “ask” down pat, and you are ready to put into motion, try using Karin Hurt’s four-step approach in her article, Career Advice – How to Advocate for Yourself at Work.

  1. Connect with Empathy and Consider Their World – Your principal doesn’t have an easy job. They have the Superintendent’s list of demands. Parents can inundate with complaints. They handle the most difficult discipline issues with students. The list goes on. Just like you, your principal has goals that are important to them. Be sure you know what they are. You can figure out what it is based on what they bring to faculty meetings and other statements they make. Use your awareness of what they value and need in your opening sentence. Let them know you share these goals. As you present your “ask,” point to how it will further them.
  2. Speak Their Language – Principals and Superintendents have a language just as librarian’s do. Use words and phrases which are part of their working vocabulary. Make it a point to check the articles in Principal, the journal of the National Association of Elementary School Principals (NAESP) or Principal Leadership, the journal of the National Association of Secondary School Principals. In addition to what you learn in meetings and emails, this will give you important clues as to what concerns your principal. In reading the articles, focus on recurring words and phrases. These are part of your principal’s language. Incorporate them in your discussion with them.
  3. Consider your Timing – In my experience, this should come first. You don’t want to see them on Friday afternoon when they’re mostly thinking about wrapping up the week and looking forward to getting home. Monday mornings are likely far too busy. Check with their secretary to find the best time. They know the principal’s schedule and work mode best. When possible, schedule these over the summer. That is when they have the most time and are looking towards what can be achieved in the upcoming school year.
  4. Own the Outcome – Sometimes the answer is “no.” That doesn’t mean forever. Don’t give up. Listen carefully to why your request is being denied. Then go back and re-work your plan. Perhaps it can be broken down into more than one year. Is there a way to get donor or grant funding? Maybe there’s a new goal that you can support with this same project. When you have refined your alternative proposal. Re-schedule a meeting. Let the principal know you heard what they said and understand the validity of it. It’s harder to turn you down a second time. Additionally, by coming back you have demonstrated the plan’s importance.

Remember this truism:

  • All libraries, no matter their type, are part of a larger hosting body.
  • All libraries, no matter their type, get their funding from the hosting body.
  • That funding is dependent on the needs and wants of the hosting body.
  • Those needs and wants are determined by the hosting body, not the librarian.

Leaders master this truism and know how to define their needs and wants in terms the hosting body, in this case, the school system, value. Your principal is part of the same hosting body – and is closer to the needs and wants. Make sure your asks support their needs and the money is more likely to be found.

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Quiet Doesn’t Have To Go Unnoticed

You know it’s important for others to view you as a vital part of the educational community. But what if you are an introvert? How can you get your message out when you are uncomfortable speaking up and actively sharing your accomplishments?

A few weeks ago, I wrote about how extroverts can benefit from using some of the strengths of introverts (Leadership Strengths of Introverts). These are the strengths you use naturally. For example, you are likely a deep and aware listener. You are good at tuning into what the teachers are saying or hearing the places where your principal is struggling. This awareness is a powerful skill when used purposefully. Knowing what others want and need, seeing where your skills can support them, allows you to help them get it. You don’t need to talk. Just do.

In her article, How to Get Noticed at Work as a Quiet Person, Jessica Chen, author of Smart Not Loud: How to Get Noticed At Work For All the Right Reasons, provides several suggestions you can use to support your success:

  • How you talk about your wins – Telling people how great you are or how well a program did is very uncomfortable for you. This isn’t necessarily a problem, since people often discount what they hear if they feel it is bragging. What you can do that will feel more comfortable is focus on the success of those you worked with. Talk about something the students created or about the teacher who worked with you on a learning project.
  • Spend time – Which teachers are considered stars? Which ones talk up about the great things they have done? Make it a point to spend time with them and find ways to collaborate with them. They will spread the word. They always do. And this time, you will be included in what they are saying.
  • Find your differentiating factor – Chen asks you to take the time to identify what it is you like to do and comes easily to you. Chances are, this is something that is challenging and/or less fun for others. Don’t discount it because it’s easy for you. This is your superpower. Once you know what it is, stop and think about who can benefit from it.
  • Link your talent to opportunity – Listen (already one of your skills) for more opportunities where you can offer your superpower to help someone. (Don’t worry, you don’t have to call it your superpower.) Knowing how to meet people’s needs and wants is a great way to get noticed by them. When you work in collaboration, there are more people to talk about the success – which means you can say less.
  • Expand your reach – Think bigger. Look for school and district committees where your talents and skills support their long and short-term goals. Once on the committee, do what you do so well – wait, watch, and listen. You will soon see ways you can help and once you do, your contributions will be noticed.
  • Advocating for yourself – Promotion yourself can be a huge challenge for introverts. Chen suggests using the acronym ACCT to guide you.
  • “A” is for Asking for what you want – Things won’t be given to us just because we work hard. Only you know what you need. Get clear, get specific, and ask. Your ongoing success depends on your speaking up for yourself.
  • “C” is for Circling Back – Most of the time you won’t get an immediate answer to your ask. This means you need to ask again. It shows you are serious. Go back to your clarity. They didn’t respond because of their priorities, not because the answer is no.
  • “C” is for Celebrate Your Wins – This is neither boasting nor something that has to be done “loudly”. If a teacher sends you a note about how a lesson has impacted further learning by students, after thanking her, forward it to your principal. (I also keep a Success Journal to keep me empowered.)
  • “T” is for Turning Down Requests – You have to know when (and how) to say “no.” If you take on everything you will soon be overwhelmed, and your work will suffer as will your personal mental health. You won’t have the ability to advocate for yourself. Instead of saying “no”, offer alternatives.
  • Speak up in meetings – I can almost hear the panic. This can be a real challenge for introverts, but Chen has an answer: The 4 A Sequence (and only three of them require you to say anything):
  • Active Listening – Use this skill to listen for the right moment to enter the conversation.
  • Acknowledge – Your first statement should make reference to the previous speaker. You can concur if you agree or say something neutral if you are about to disagree.
  • Anchor  – Having acknowledged the last speaker, use a few words from what the person said in introducing you comment or idea. The connection makes your response fit in the context of the meeting.
  • Answer – Now say what you have to add to the conversation. Stick to the point. Make it brief.

You have amazing skills and strengths. Being an introvert doesn’t change that, but they could be hidden. Look to see which of these steps are ones you feel you could incorporate. Soon, you will feel safe stepping out of your comfort zone, and your community will see you as the leader you are.

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Becoming a Great Leader

Which one of these have you heard before?

  • Leadership is a never-ending journey.
  • If you are not growing, you are dying.
  • Good is the opposite great because if you think you are good, you will never be great.

These have been touted so many times that they have become dulled in our minds. But they are adages because they contain truth. As a leader, you can never be complacent about your achievements. Yes, be proud of what you’ve achieved and all that it took to get there, but this doesn’t mean you can stop working hard. There is always more.

Another aphorism can be your next step: Leaders don’t make followers. They make more leaders. The more school librarians who are leaders, the greater our overall impact on our school communities and on the larger local, state, and national communities. Yes, national. Thinking big is important. We need to have the national communities see school librarians for the vital role they have in education and our students’ future.

This means finding ways to bring up other leaders. In an article, Rena Harvey presents 5 Ways Leaders Can Unlock Their Potential to Inspire Others. She notes that, “becoming a great leader requires self-awareness, continuous learning, and a commitment to personal growth.”  To do so, Harvey says you must work on these five areas: understanding your core values, developing emotional intelligence, embracing lifelong learning, fostering resilience, and cultivating a vision that inspires others.

Understanding Your Core Values – Reflect on both your personal core values as a librarian as well as the ALA Code of Ethics, the Library Bill of Rights, and AASL’s Common Beliefs. Our values ground and support us as leaders, guiding us as we make decisions and choices. There is strength in knowing other librarians are holding the same values. Because they are always present, others know who you are and what they can count on from you. It shows your integrity and that of the profession.

Developing Emotional Intelligence – We are in the relationship business. Our emotional intelligence is part of what allows us to communicate effectively with others and build relationships. People respond to us because we “see” them. It helps us make decisions as we understand how it will impact others. Harvey adds that your emotional intelligence allows you to stay calm under pressure and respond to challenges with a clear mind rather than reacting impulsively.

Embracing Lifelong Learning – We are role models for lifelong learning. Anyone who has been in the profession for five or more can look back at our careers and see the many changes. We have embraced the challenges and changes, teaching ourselves when possible and seeking other ways to become proficient in the changes. We have adapted, pivoted, and helped our students, teachers, and sometimes administrators in finding their way in our ever-changing landscape. And we have looked for feedback to improve and refine that learning.

Fostering Resilience – An integral part of the changes we have had to make is becoming more resilient. We hold to our core values to anchor us. We draw on our librarian colleagues and state and national organizations for help. They strengthen us like the giant redwood trees whose shallow roots are interconnected with others, allowing them to grow to great heights in the face of high winds. Despite the challenges, we work on having a positive mindset, remembering the importance of self-care.

Cultivating a Vision That Inspires Others – I am always inspired by AASL’s Vision – “Every school librarian is a Leader; every learner has a school librarian.” In essence this blog is my contribution to inspiring other school librarians to be leaders – and great ones. Review your vision to ensure it’s big, showing your commitment to a better tomorrow. Visions are about what it would be like in a perfect world. No, you will never attain it. You are not supposed to. It’s working toward it and inspiring others to join you in your journey.

We are living in difficult times. Fortunately, you are all leaders and together we will meet the challenges of our roles and our audience. Each day we have the opportunity to find at least one way to be a stronger leader and inspire others to do the same.

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Look For What You Can Control & Change

As much as we’d like it not to be the case, there is frequently more we can’t control than we can. And what we can’t control seems to be on the increase. You may be feeling frustrated by a declining or nonexistent budget. Or tired of having more tasks added and less time to do what you know is important. There are many things out of our control, but we are in control of how we react to them.

All these challenges are real, but you can work with them and make them better. Like turning thrift store or yard sale finds into treasures, you can take what you have and with a few additions — and a mindset shift, always key— transform it into something beautiful.

In her article, Not happy with your career? Get scrappy, Julie Winkle Giulioni explains how you can change negatives into positives and make your job a better fit for your Vision and Mission. She defines “scrappy” as “using what’s available and within a person’s sphere of influence, enriching their current roles, getting creative, and wringing every ounce of development from routine activity.” By being scrappy, you can make the small changes that result in turning the job into more of what you want it to be and gain control in challenging situations.

Giulioni recommends the following four techniques:

  • Practice with Purpose – Reflect on what you do as part of your job. How can that be improved? For example, maybe you want to update your collection in a specific area, but you have no budget for it.  Giulioni suggests these three steps:

Set an “Intention” – In this case, it might be to explore funding sources used by other librarians. Maybe looking in thrift stores or at www.paperbackbookswap.com for inventory.

Plan – Find ways to use your Professional Learning Network (PLN) to find out what others have found successful. You can ask them what advice they have for making their pitch have an impact.

Reflect – Just like we look for essential questions in the lessons we present, check to see if you notice the questions you didn’t have answered, the ones you couldn’t know about. Then, the next time, you can do a better job in refining queries to your PLN.

  • Seek Out an Opportunity Zone – Professional Development (PD) may not be giving teachers and others in your community everything they need. For example, you may be concerned about how to use AI and ways it might currently be misused. To help, you might explore the issue, again using your PLN, and prepare a one-page infographic you can submit to your principal. Call shortly after you have given it to them and ask to discuss some way to deal with AI, recognizing both its positives and negatives. See if there’s a way to present what you’ve learned to others.
  • Optimize Your Extracurriculars –Use what you do outside of productively. You might work on an advocacy committee with your school library association. If that seems a bit beyond you, see what help you can give the person who is handling advocacy. And look to see where your other interests intersect with ways you want to grow your program. As you cook, you may think of ways to bring in new ingredients to your work. As you garden, you may realize the importance of patience and creating a rich soil.
  • Soak It Up – Become a conscious observer. See who gets heard and watch how they do it. Notice who is liked and who isn’t. Can you tell what about them brings out those reactions in others? By doing this, you are creating your own PD. You will find yourself adapting better to situations and being noticed for the right reasons. It will be not only a career but a life lesson.

Of all the things we can control, the most important is our outlook. Change your mindset. Take a pro-active approach to turning your job back into one where you look forward to going to work. Being scrappy will bring you more benefits – and make you a better leader.

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The Leadership Strengths of Introverts

Looking at the people we admire as leaders, it seems as though they are all extroverts, easily speaking up in public, connecting with people at meetings and conferences, presenting at events. Although some leaders are extroverts, just as many powerful leaders are introverts and are capable of becoming meaningful leaders using their strengths and talents.

Loud is not always better. On occasion, it might drown out what other people are saying and feeling. Or even intimidating so that ideas aren’t shared and people feel unheard. As librarians and leaders, we strive to build relationships. Not hearing other people is not the way to do it.  It is in the small daily interactions that introverts excel and demonstrate their leadership.

If extroverted is more your style, take time to learn these strengths of introverts from Benjamin Laker’s article, The Quiet, Transformative Power of Introverted Leaders. And if you identify as an introvert, take time to appreciate what you bring to leadership.

  • The Strength of Listening – While extroverts are busy dominating the conversation, introverts are quietly listening to what others are saying. They more easily recognize the different perspectives which are so important when you are trying to make connections with teachers, students, and administrators. When they do speak, it comes from this awareness and their stakeholders feel heard. As an extrovert, I am constantly fighting an inner war to close my mouth and open my ears. Introverts do it naturally.
  • The Power of Thoughtful Decision-Making – Extroverts want to get their idea in first. This can become a problem because they are likely to put forward their plan before having considered all the issues and viewpoints involved. The first response might not be the best response. Because they are more likely to have considered the feelings, needs, and concerns of others along with the situation as a whole, when an introvert makes a decision, it has a better chance of being the right fit. Again, this serves us in building relationships which are so vital.
  • Leading Through Empathy – Because they listen and observe, introverts are more tuned to the worries, fears, and needs that are behind what others are saying. Introverts are then well-positioned to present an idea or solution that will speak to these issues behind the words people say. As Laker writes: “Introverted leaders excel at one-on-one interactions, where they can connect deeply with individuals, understand their motivations, and offer personalized guidance.” Our stakeholders then feel listened to and cared for.  Empathy is powerful in making the connections that turn into relationships.
  • Striking a Balance: Introversion and Extroversion in Leadership – There are times when an extrovert’s strengths are needed. You do need to be able to speak up, so others hear you. Blending the two, introversion and extroversion creates a powerful leader. Recognize which is your natural style to remind yourself when you need to be quiet and listen and when you need to speak up and speak out. Know your strength but cultivate its complement to maximize your impact on your community and your program.

There is no one way to be a leader, and neither extroversion or introversion is inherently better. As Laker says in his conclusion, “leadership is most effective when it embraces a diversity of styles.” Be the great leader your students, teachers, and community need you to be by embracing the things you do well and learning from the style of others.

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It’s Wise to Have Many Whys

We talk about Mission Statements as our “Why.” Looking deeper, the Mission Statement is focused mailing on what you do. It is, as I say, your Perspiration. The underlying “Why” you do it is tied to your values, your life history, and other forces that have created the you who is in this current place.

Making a difference in the learning and school experience of your students is probably one of the “Whys” you have. Other “Whys” might have developed over time, such as promoting intellectual freedom.

Focusing on only one “why” has been the traditional approach. The thinking was you needed to bring your full attention to it in order to be successful. David Zimmerman has a different take on it in his blog article, Leaders, It’s OK To Have Multiple “Whys” where he discusses why more could be better and the power of multipotentiality. Zimmerman begins with these four reasons:

  1. Diverse Perspectives – Librarians, like everyone else, are not clean slates schooled only in librarianship. We have interests and often other careers which can bring greater scope to what we do. Are you crafty? How can that add to your program? It’s not just in making displays. Think of how it benefits a makerspace. Or perhaps you have a good way of bringing local business people into the library which showcases their talents and exposes students to the choices available after school ends.
  2. Adaptability – In a fast-moving world, our multiple interests make us more able to change, pivot, and go through any other gyrations needed to not only catch up but be ahead of the curve. It allows us to be willing to try the new, build on what works, and release what doesn’t. It also shows us the interconnectedness of our interests.
  3. Continuous Growth – A single focus can be limiting. Having multiple passions makes us more likely and able to be continuously growing, being motivated anew by what we discover. As librarians, we are and need to be role models for lifelong learning.
  4. Greater Impact – The assortment of interests and strengths we bring allows us to communicate more personally with a variety of stakeholders. We have more in common, more reasons for connection. When we communicate, we build the relationships that are so vital to carrying out our Mission – and make a difference in the lives of our communities.

Having multiple “Whys” is at the core of multipotentiality. People who embrace multipotentiality are “an adaptable, quick learners with a wide range of skills and creative pursuits, characterized by their curiosity, capacity to learn quickly, and ability to synthesize disparate ideas.” Zimmerman who presents four ways to lead with multipotentiality.

  1. Leverage Your Passions – Take stock of your passions. How can each of them contribute to your role as a school librarian? Whether a love of nature, cooking, or travel, your passion for these parts of you can add creativity and give you greater dimension as a leader.
  2. Create Space for Exploration – Don’t be limited to your current passions and interests. When something piques your interest, try it out. Look for new activities, and then bring them into the rich mix that fuels your program and your leadership.
  3. Cultivate a Growth Mindset – See these new interests as part of your growth. What did you have to do to learn these new interests? How can you bring the experience of that learning process into your daily work?
  4. Encourage It in Others – This is another passion. Bringing the joy of learning and discovery to others. It’s also about the role of leaders in creating new leaders. Seeing others bloom is a special joy.

Your days are full. It seems like a lot to ask you to add to your “Whys,” but you are probably doing it to some degree already. Instead of ignoring those other interests, focus on and include them so you can lean into your passions and interest to bring you to a greater level of leadership.

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Calming the Butterflies

Public speaking. It can make even the most polished professional panicky.. Getting up to speak before an audience can be a terrifying moment. It is said that people fear it more than death. It’s even a challenge for even well-known performers. Adele, Rhianna and Barbra Streisand all reportedly suffer from stage fright.

But you need to face these fears. You are a leader, and at some point, you are going to have to speak before a group or do something else that makes you nervous. When this happens, don’t avoid the possibility and lose the opportunity to show your value to an administrator. It is not what leaders do.

Instead, prepare for it by knowing what to do when the butterflies start churning. In her article, Why the First 30 Seconds of a Stressful Situation Are the Most Critical, Stephanie Vozza provides four steps to get you through those moments. Vozza explains those first seconds are the peak anxiety time. Since this is when all your bodily functions go into freeze and flight, they are the key to getting past the worse of this. Here are her four steps:

  • Practice Meditation – It doesn’t need to be more than two minutes, but if do it each day (or at least regularly), you become accustomed to stilling your heartbeat. When you are faced with getting up to the podium, or anything that has your pulse racing, you can do your accustomed routine. Your body will easily recognize what it needs to do.
  • Just Breathe – Not the usual in and out, but in a more fully mindful way. Become aware of your breathing and your body. Notice the physical manifestations of your tension. Are you clenching your teeth? Are your fingers tightened into fists? By being mindful you can do what it takes to physically relax. Breathe. Notice. Untense those tight muscles.
  • Harness Your Inner Superhero – Just as your body adds to your tension by its responses, it can do the opposite and telegraph confidence. Straighten your stance. Throw your shoulders back. You have this. You know your stuff. You are well prepared. Think of your favorite empowering song and go for it.
  • Rehearse Challenges – One of the best ways to be calm in the moment is to prepare in advance. If you’re giving a presentation, know the opening paragraph. Print it out on something you can read easily without it being too conspicuous. Once you get past that opening, you will be fine. Can you get into the room early? Seeing where you will be can help you to envision yourself succeeding.

How you manage the challenges and stresses you will face as a leader is up to you. As with so many things in life, you can go one of two ways. You can let the stress engulf you and avoid ever doing it again. Or you can embrace the challenge. Prepare yourself in advance and prove to yourself you can handle this.

Being a leader involves getting out of your comfort zone and taking on new challenges. Whether it’s public speaking or running for an office in your state/national organization, there will be scary moments as you start and even once you have attained a new level of being in the public eye. The more often you take the chance, the more often you will succeed. And each success will build an extra layer of confidence.

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Happiness Is Not The Goal

We often talk about striving for happiness, about wanting to achieve it. But if—as the title suggests—it’s not a goal, then what is it?

It’s an outcome.

It comes from within you as a result of your choices, actions, and interactions. Some people can spark it in us, but it’s our reaction to them that makes it happen. Think of a little baby or young child. Being with them makes you happy, but they are being themselves, not working to make you happy. The happiness you feel is your reaction, not what they are trying to do. And expecting something outside of ourselves to deliver happiness is not a realistic approach to life.

But it’s still something we want. After all, the fairy tales always end, “and they lived happily ever after.” So how do we get this outcome?

Interestingly, Jessica Stillman has written an article stating that not only is happiness not a goal, but Neuroscience Says to Be Happier, Stop Thinking About Happiness. Although it sounds counterintuitive, studies have shown that focusing on happiness… makes us less happy. Fortunately, Stillman explains the science and how to successfully bring happiness into your life.

According to a research team, the problem is when we make happiness a goal we expect to be happy all the time. That’s the “proof” they’ve achieved it. But that can never happen – so the goal is unobtainable. Stillman suggests this is an example of Goodhart’s law, an economic principle that states, “when a measure becomes a target, it ceases to be a good measure.”

The research showed that when people pursued happiness, what they really focused on was where it was missing. They saw every not perfect feeling as being a lack in their lives. They saw others appearing cheerful and assumed it was proof that others were happy, and they were not. This, of course, is a faulty gage, because we have no idea how happy other people are if we only know their outside appearances.

As leaders, we need to be aware that if we focus on where we are feeling unhappy, that is communicated in our words, body language and overall disposition. And it does not attract others to you. Instead of building relationships, you create distance. So how can happiness be an outcome instead of a goal?

One of the researchers offered these three suggestions:

  • Accept all your emotions – This works in professional and personal situations. You shouldn’t pretend negative emotions are not there. Nor should you judge yourself (or others) from having them. Once you accept them as a reality, they cease to be a drag you down. And in acknowledging them, you can find the information that the feelings are offering you.
  • Don’t view doing good as a means to an end – It will take the pleasure out of doing them, because you will be judging the action to see if it brought you happiness. Do it because it is the right thing. In my own life, in addition to a Gratitude Journal, I always add one way I gave back. I didn’t do the action to feel happiness but in acknowledging it, happiness is the outcome.
  • Get social – Humans are social animals. Being with others brings a lift to our lives. Of course, do what you can to people who are constantly negative (and don’t be one of those people). As often as you can, connect with the things you love and the people you love to be with. Find joy in your interactions throughout the day.

Be honest with yourself. Are you always trying to be happy? Because if you are, that’s probably taking you away from it. Make the shift from trying to achieve happiness and instead, let it be the outcome of the choices and actions you make. Get goals that matter to you and happiness will be one of the outcomes. When you reframe, you will be a better leader… and a happier person.

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Make Your Message Memorable

Our brains are amazing. We can remember small things that happened to us as children. And we can forget what we ate for breakfast yesterday. While we all joke about our forgetfulness, as leaders who have important messages to share, it’s important to ensure that our audience remembers what we said. This is true for lessons with our students and for any Professional Development (PD) or other or presentations we do for teachers, and our ongoing interactions with principals.

Have you ever spoken with past students who have graduated? Did they talk about projects they did with you, books you recommended, or special events which you organized? This is you making a lasting memory and having a lifelong impact.

How did you do it? How can you do it more often?

In his article, How To Craft a Memorable Message, neurosurgeon Charan Ranganath explains what makes things memorable and what to do to make your message one they remember. He offers these “Four C’s of memorable messages.” (And by giving that concrete connection to his message, you are likely to remember it.)

  1. Chunk it up – Powerful as our brains are, Ranganath says they can hold only a limited amount of information at a time. To get around this, share information under the “umbrella” of a centra idea. For example, if you are giving a talk on Mission and Vision Statements. begin by saying “Your Mission is your ‘Why.’ It’s your Prescription.” You start with the overriding idea you want to convey. Then follow it up with a few details. I think of it as constructing a spider web as I link the ideas together to form a strong and memorable center.
  2. Make it Concrete – To anchor your message, bring in an emotional connection. For all our stress on data and being rational, our decisions and what we remember are tied to emotions. (When students remember you, it will be connected to how you made them feel). With a presentation on Missions, I make sure to share with librarians that without one, you are likely to end your day (or school year) feeling as though their only tools were duct tape and a fire extinguisher.
  3. Provide Callbacks – Insert opportunities for listeners to recall what you said. This further implants those ideas/concepts/techniques in their brain. My presentation on Missions usually includes Vision Statements as well. I introduce that part by reminding that I said Missions are their “Why”, their Perspiration. Visions, by contrast, are their Aspirations and Inspirations. When I move into the values that underlie them, I refer to it as the Foundation.
  4. Spark Their Curiosity – Ranganath says, “I have learned that the key to memorable communication lies not in conveying the answer, but in establishing a compelling question.” We know the importance of having a strong Essential Question for the learning projects we create (hopefully, with teachers). To begin my presentation, I will ask, “What would it be like if at the end of the day, you always felt as though you had your aims and were successful? What would your library look and feel like if it were everything you wished it were?”

You send your messages out daily. How many of them resonate and stick with listeners? Do the messages in your PDs and presentations remain in your audiences’ memories? Improving all aspects of your communication skills improves you as a leader. How will you use the “4 C’s” today?