Posted on by hildaweisburg

Start By Reviewing

The new school year is underway. Believe it or not – this can be a good time to review. Ask yourself, what do you want to achieve by the end? How will you get there? Which of your leadership skills will aid you in the journey?  What do you still need to learn? This is also a good time to ask what threats, such as the existing attacks on school librarians, can work against you? What conditions exist in your school, district, or on the state and national level can you use or learn into to take your leadership to a larger level?

To answer these questions, consider doing a personal environmental scan. While I usually prefer a S.O.A.R. analysis (Strengths, Opportunities, Aspirations, Results) because it keeps us from focusing on the negatives, in this case doing a S.W.O.T. analysis (Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, Threats) can serve you better. You have leadership skills that are working for you. You also have difficulties in some areas, places where you need and want to grow. By taking a close and unemotional look at these, you can create a plan to guide you through the year.

With your scan in mind, Jay Sidhu’s blog post, Essential Lessons for Leaders provides a review of what you know while offering the following concepts and ideas for moving forward:

  • Leadership Qualities – Although you know many of them, Sidhu starts with the reminder that a leader must have a Vision, Mission, and Strategic Plan to achieve goals. His recommendation is that a leader must master their internal and external environment. Your S.W.O.A.T. analysis helped with that. He then adds the need to be “passionate about continual improvement,” which I hope you do as a lifelong learner.
  • Building Alliances – For us, this translates into advocacy which rests on continually building and maintaining relationships. Listening is key to achieving this along with awareness of the goals of others in your school and district. To successfully build a relationship ,you need to prove yourself important to the other person’s well-being and success. What do you teachers feel they need? What do they want? How are you or can you meet those needs and wants? Ask this question about students and administrators as well.
  • Learning to Be a Leader – Sidhu states a leader is a continuous learner. This not only means keeping up with the newest changes in technology, it also means understanding curriculum needs, district goals, and growing and developing as an individual. Use role models and mentors to help you. Identify leaders you admire, in the world or in librarianship. Reflect on what they do and how they are that caused you to admire them. Do you manifest any of those qualities? Can you work on acquiring the ones you don’t have? Risk learning by doing. Step out of your comfort zone and take on a bigger job in your state or national organization and ask someone who has done it to mentor you.
  • Knowing What It Takes – Sidhu brings us back to the beginning by wrapping his post up with a reminder to be clear about your Vision and Mission. As Yogi Berra famously said, “If you don’t know where you are going, you will wind up someplace else.” Review both.  Missions in particular change over time as our roles change and expand. Keep your Vision and Mission in a prominent place so you—and others – see it every day.

I keep in mind the AASL Vision, “Every school librarian a leader; Every learner has a school librarian.”  Our students, teachers, and administrators need us to be leaders – and learners. Take this time as your school year starts to get clear on your vision, discover what you need to learn, and understand how you will be a leader.

Posted on by hildaweisburg

Ending a Conversation

Our conversations are an essential component of building and maintaining relationships. Navigating them can be complicated. Last week I blogged on how to start a difficult conversation. This week, let’s discuss how to successfully end one.

We all know someone who goes on and on. Sometimes, the conversation is fun, but we don’t have unlimited time. What should you do? You have tasks to attend to. Whether it’s a student, teacher, or (yikes!) administrator you’re speaking with, cutting them off can cause hurt and damage the relationship. How can you bring the conversation to an end without impairing it? John Millen has some options in his blog post, 5 Best Ways to End a Conversation:

  1. The Time-Conscious Approach – Millen’s favorite phrase for this is, “I want to be mindful of your time” and then continue by asking them what else needs discussing at this point.” By doing this, you are making it about the other person, showing your awareness of their needs, and guiding them into identifying the key points so that you are able to end the conversation while also having the information you need.
  2. The Grateful Farewell – Look for a point in the conversation where you can say, “Thank you for what you said. You have given me something to think about.” It’s complimentary and true regardless of what you think of the other person’s ideas. At the same time, you have signaled strongly that you are exiting the conversation, while showing gratitude – something that strengthens relationships.
  3. Non-verbal Cues – We all instinctively recognize them. Millen suggests slowing your speech to indicate you are about to or want to end the conversation. This is much like our recognizing the notes that typically end a musical piece. Be cautious, however, of excess body movements which will make the speaker sense you are bored, a pointed look at your watch or phone, crossing your arms, tapping your foot. These cause discomfort and push the other person away.
  4. End on a Positive Note –A specific compliment is always well-received. Millen suggests, “I’ve really enjoyed our conversation. Your insights are really helpful.” And, if necessary, you can add, “Let’s continue this conversation at a future time.” In a few words, you have not only achieved your primary goal of ending the conversation, but you have paved the way to further build the relationship.
  5. Practice Empathy – This is a reminder to treat other people the way we want to be treated. You might be the one who is going on too long, particularly when you are passionate about the topic. Consider the difference between someone saying to you, “We need to wrap this up, I have something that’s waiting for me,” as compared with them using one of the four other possible endings. And always thank them for their time and attention.

Every interaction we have either builds or detracts from our relationship with the speaker. The fewer mistakes we make in our communication, the stronger our relationships are and the more our constituents will continue to seek us out for help and support as well as be open to when we ask for assistance.  Add the skill of graciously ending conversations to leadership tool box. It’s one more way to enhance the perception of you as a leader.

Posted on by hildaweisburg

Starting Difficult Conversations

It seems as though difficult conversations are everywhere these days. Some we get pulled into – such as issues surrounding gender, sexuality, and racism. Some we must start when these issues affect collection selection, censorship, book banning, and who decides what information students have access to. But because we are in the relationship business, and every relationship – from personal to professional – has to manage through tough conversations at some time, we must know how to handle these situations when they happen.

Sometimes our actions or words put a colleague in the position of coming to us with a sensitive topic, and sometimes we’re the ones who need to take a stand. Nate Regier, the CEO and founding owner of Next Element Consulting, a global leadership firm dedicated to bringing compassion into the workplace, discusses how to Initiate Difficult Conversations With These 4 Steps. He quotes an EDI leader for a company as saying, “We just need better ways to talk to each other right now.”  As the political climate keeps amplifying both our differences and our emotional responses, this has become more critical than ever.

Regier’ four step approach involves using “Compassionate Accountability” which he says is more than altruism or empathy. It’s rather “struggling together in a spirit of dignity.” An important factor is accountability for behavior “without repeating the cycle of violence.”

  1. Own and express your feelings without blaming – Blaming words include “disrespected,” “left out,” and “attacked.” They imply that you blame the person who did whatever triggered your feelings. It’s hard to think of what you can say in response without using those words.  First take a moment to recognize what you are feeling. Accept the emotion and say, “When I hear something like that, I feel as though I don’t matter or that I am not seen as equal to others.” As Regier says, owning your feelings without blaming them on someone else’s behavior doesn’t condone the behavior or end the conversation. Quite the opposite. It can be what starts a healthy discussion.
  2. Use discomfort as your ally – When you have expressed a biased comment to someone, and realized it after the conversation was over, there is a tendency to duck your head and try to forget it happened. But it did happen, and someone was likely hurt. Integrity means you need to own it and say something. I had a volunteer model this many years ago after using a slur against Jews. At the time, I said nothing. She left after her morning shift, but returned in the afternoon, embarrassed and apologetic. I admired her tremendously for taking the first step by acknowledging what she had said.
  3. Mind the gap; own your part – Regier says, “Conflict is any gap between what we want and what we are experiencing.” In the fraction of the moment after my volunteer said what she did, I wanted to let her know how her comment made me feel. I recognized there was no ill intent, but I was hurt. Fortunately, when she returned, we could have that discussion because she had owned her part. She faced her discomfort and our relationship was better for her actions.
  4. Awareness is necessary but not sufficient to change behavior – Awareness is an important step, but the communication that follows is even more key when it comes to doing things differently. The experience with my volunteer was been a lesson to me.  I have my own innate biases.  I work hard to identify them and shut them down before I say something, but I make mistakes. When I have done so (or know that I have done so), I immediately apologize.

Regier concludes by saying, “Compassionate Accountability is a skill that translates beyond any particular conflict or dimension of diversity. By owning and expressing our feelings without blame, minding our part in the communication gap, leveraging discomfort to move forward, and being aware enough to close the knowing/doing gap is how conflict can become transformational.”

Whether someone is coming to us or we need to initiate a difficult discussion, it is important to stay open and listen to what is being said and how someone may be hurt so that the relationship can be strengthened. It takes a great deal of time and mindful effort to eliminate our inherent, unconscious biases, but we can acknowledge and own them. Recognizing and expressing our error and vulnerability adds to our integrity as leaders – and human beings.

Posted on by hildaweisburg

The Power of Telling Stories

We’re librarians – we love stories. Elementary librarians tell them to kids all the time. When I was a high school librarian, I often used Patricia Polacco’s picture book Pink and Say to connect students emotionally to the Civil War before beginning a research project on the topic. Ask a group of librarians for their favorite book and you’ll be in for a spirited conversation.

But there is danger in stories, too. The stories we heard told by people of certain beliefs, along with the stories we tell ourselves, can lock us into a rigid way of thinking unless we are exposed to newer ones that reveal what we hadn’t seen. Whether the readers are children or adults, stories can help us understand a world bigger than ourselves, bring out our empathy and broaden our perspective and understanding.

What is it about them? Why do they impact us so deeply?

The answer is emotion. Stories touch the deepest places inside us—for good or ill—and help make us who we are. I frequently remind school librarians that while data is great, it needs emotions to send that information home. A powerful story can break through an idealized belief.

As leaders, the emotions we create and develop in the people we support make a difference in our ability to grow – and protect – our programs. In Scott Van Voorhis post Looking to Leave a Mark? Memorable Leaders Don’t Just Spout Statistics, They Tell Stories he discusses how if you want people to hear and remember your message — tell a story. How does this help? Here’s some data (funny, right?) about story:

  • Measuring Memory – A research study conducted by Thomas Graeber (Harvard Business School), Christopher Roth (University of Cologne), and Florian Zimmermann (University of Bonn) revealed differences in how long we retained different types of information on beliefs. They found that a story’s effect faded by about one third within a single day. A statistic faded by 73% in one day. The reason why stories last longer in our memories is that they usually have “distinctive details or context” which help us remember them. Being abstract, statistics and numbers give our memories less to cling to. Van Voorhis says these are also more likely to get jammed by other irrelevant information. So much for your beautiful charts and infographics.
  • A Story That People Will Remember – To be effective, a story needs a strong relationship to the data you want to present. If you are trying to get additional funds for books, focus on a subject of interest to your audience. Talk about something outrageous in it. Having the book with you helps. Some examples from my past life as a high school librarian in the late 1980’s: A book that said Harvard was only for males. A book that said the Conquistadores brought civilization to the “natives.” A biology book that didn’t include DNA. All three together created a story that showed students, teachers, and administrators the importance of updating a collection and how our knowledge and presentation of a subject grows and changes.
  • Beware Extreme Stories – While I hope none of us will be guilty of this, it is wise to be aware of this caveat which Van Voorhis uses to conclude his post. As he showed, stories by their nature are more easily remembered. We are attracted to them, and because of that conspiracists, among others, use them freely to send their message. They raise stakes, create drama and conflict where there may be none. Too many of you have been at the receiving end of these extreme stories. Hopefully you can change that narrative with empowering and truthful stories.

The bottom line is a good story has more power than any piece of data no matter how artfully that date might be presented. Start telling you stories. Share them widely and encourage others to do so, too. We are natural storytellers. Let’s use this talent to support our leadership and our schools and send our message of why libraries are valuable to everyone.