Who isn’t dealing with stress? We face it at work and most of us face it at home. Librarians, teachers and administrators are dealing with scary challenges. And we not only have to manage our own stress, but we have to interact with others who are experiencing stress as well. Our students’ mental health has become a concern. Teachers have new goals and guidelines they don’t know how to meet. Administrators face unending political pressures.

People under stress are rarely at their best. Tempers flare, harsh words are said, and relationships are torn, sometimes beyond repair. We can’t afford to endanger our relationships. As leaders and librarians, successful relationships are vital to what we want to achieve. But we can’t simply wish our stress away. Indeed, the stresses in our lives only seem to increase. So what can we do?

In her blog post, Fear(less) Leadership: How to Recalibrate Your Stress Response, Rebecca Heiss takes a novel approach to dealing with stress, by finding ways to (believe it or not) make it work for us. “Fear(less)” is the key word. So much stress is rooted in fear, whether it is getting everything done, forgetting a key detail, or your job security. Knowing how to deal with that fear is a way to deal with that challenge.

Heiss makes three main points:

• Our Brains Aren’t Designed for Today’s World – Heiss notes our brains treat all threats no matter their source or complexity in the same way. We fall into the classic, freeze, flee, fight response. We see all three in the responses librarians are making to the book banning that keeps ramping up in the United States. I am sure there are some librarians who are in one of these modes even if there haven’t been challenges in their district. Most often, we hide our fear under a brave face and plunge in, much like an animal that bristles and growls when under attack. But the fear is still there and wears away inside us. To deal with that, Heiss says we need to understand “how our brains will interpret the risks initially and then taking the time to calculate the actual costs of both action and inaction in making the next move.” In other words – there isn’t a lion at the cave opening. You can find a way through this.

• Stress can give your life more meaning – That sounds counterintuitive, but Heiss explains that successful leaders view the cause of the stress as an adventure. See it as a challenge that will lead you to new understanding and growth. Looking for and finding a positive response to stress is the way to find new solutions (the classic “thinking out of the box” or getting rid of the box entirely). Heiss reminds us that athletic records are broken in competition, not in practice. We need stress to succeed and exceed. Chemically, you produce the same hormones and neurotransmitters when you are stressed as when you are excited.

• Perceive Your Stress as Opportunity – Looking more deeply into the concept of stress as an adventure, Heiss provides the “ABC’s” of how to do it:
  • A is for Awareness – Allow yourself three minutes to feel the stress. Don’t deny it’s there. That won’t work. Name it to face it.
  • B is for Breathe – This named stress isn’t going to kill you, so the freeze, flight, fright response is unnecessary. Take a couple of deep breaths and gain control of the cognitive part of your brain.
  • C is for Curiosity – Ask yourself some questions to get moving. This is the time to look at your Core Values. What are the ideas and beliefs that you hold most valuable? The ones you need to support. If you retreat from them, your stress will only increase. What is your Mission? Will your response to the stress advance them? Check in with your PLN to see who has done this and can help.

Stress is normal in life. The increased level of stress is the new normal. We can live in the fear it causes or start seeing it as an adventure. And look for ways to welcome others on the adventure by helping your teachers see stress in a new way. They need the help as well – and it will build your relationships.