Posted on by hildaweisburg

The Chance in Change

Whether or not we like it, change is a constant. Generative AI is advancing with incredible speed. Politics has invaded the school library. The turnover of principals and superintendents has been dramatic. Sometimes the old refrain “stop the world, I want to get off” seems to be a great idea. Fortunately, that isn’t an option. As school librarians we are well equipped to handle the rapid changes in technology and are comfortable making the adjustments. But changes in personnel or new regulations? Those are more difficult to embrace and manage.

So what are the tools of managing change? In her article, Embracing Change: A New Leader’s Imperative, Karen Carey offers advice to the business world on how to manage change. They apply to us as well.

  • The ever-changing landscape – Carey notes “understanding the fluidity” of a landscape is crucial. She quotes Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella, “Don’t be a know-it-all; be a learn-it-all.” Fortunately, librarians are lifelong learners. We need to translate that mindset into our daily practice. Use your PLN to fill in what you don’t know. Be aware of what’s happening in your community and have the resources from ALA on hand to deal with any upheavals that occur. Start building a relationship with your new principal who may have radically different ideas about the library or no interest in it. Learn the ways to recognize AI generated work.
  • Embracing the uncomfortable – At some point, you may find that you need to see the bigger picture. Leaving your comfort zone is a necessary part of change. Look for new things to try or groups to join, including your state organization or even AASL.
  • Learning from failure – The fear of failure keeps us from leaving our comfort zone. We teach kids that failing is part of the learning process, but we must embrace this in ourselves as well. It will happen. Your successes will far outweigh your failures if you work on growing.
  • Tech in leadership – Your teachers may be having trouble dealing with the changes in tech. By helping them cope and learn, you strengthen your relationships and build new ones. Developing a collaborative or cooperative project will ease their way and further the perception of you as a leader.
  • The challenge of transition – Find ways to work with new personnel. The new principal may be a concern to staff and is undoubtedly dealing with their own uncertainty. Invite them to the library. Share brief (they don’t need to be overwhelmed) information you have on trends or any issues they might be interested in based on comments they have made. And don’t engage with the teachers who consistently make negative comments about the change. That doesn’t make for strong relationships.
  • Cultivating the agile mindset – According to Carey, this involves “building deeper human connections, continuous learning, and the ability to unlearn behaviors, beliefs and values. It’s about capitalizing on new opportunities by staying open to different perspectives and embracing change as a constant force for progress.” In essence, this speaks directly to our strengths since we know building relationships and finding new ways to deliver our Mission is vital for the success of our program.

Remember, we are not alone. People everywhere are struggling to cope with change, but changing is the only way to grow. The world keeps growing and, uncomfortable or not, we must grow with it. And as leaders, we have no other options. Embrace change as part of your leadership journey.

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How Do People See You

The adage “perception dictates reality” may not seem fair, especially if it appears we are being poorly received, but it is the truth, and you must be aware of it. Especially because we need to be ready to change these perceptions if we are not creating the reality we want. As unnerving as it might be to be truly honest with yourself, take time to think — how do people see you?

To find the answers, ask yourself what are you putting out there for people to see and react to? What do the teachers see, and therefore believe, about you? Do they see your enthusiasm for projects or your frustrations about limitations? The administrators? Are you a budget drain because that’s the only time you talk to them or are you an integral part of their team because you let them see how the library supports their goals? How about the students? Are they so excited about what happens in the library they tell their parents about it or is this a place where they can goof off because you’re not paying attention?

The perceptions of your stakeholders affect your daily work life and your future. And its all happening under the surface. In his article, Mastering the Art of Perception: Crafting Your Professional Reputation Joel Garfinkle addresses this important issue. And while his audience is the business world, the concepts are also true for us.

As he says, “The truth is impressions often outweigh performance.” In the article, he makes these four salient points:

1. The spotlight is on you – You are always being observed. By the time your principal makes a formal observation, they have been watching for quite some time. Teachers come into the library and see how you are dealing with students. Or they never come into the library. In both cases they have developed perceptions about you and the library. Garfinkle says, “Whatever you’re doing and how you’re behaving now will impact you long into the future.”

2. What people observe matters to them – As with perceptions, this is emotionally based. How does what they are seeing connect with what is important to them? When working on developing collaborative relationships, knowing the other person’s wants and needs is key to making the connections. But they have assessed whether you can meet these wants and needs before you start the conversation. They need to know you’re aware of their goals – before the conversation happens. Make sure you’re always showing your engagement.

3. Everyone is always forming opinions – It is somewhat daunting to think someone passing you in the hall while you are speaking to someone else is forming an opinion about you. It may be a totally insignificant one, but it happens. Just remember, you are doing the same thing. We are constantly “on.” You don’t want to be putting on a performance throughout your workday to make sure people get the “right” impression. But when you are out and about, you need to be aware of how you may be seen by. You don’t want to the be the one always complaining. You do want to be aware of the goals and focuses of others.

4. Perception is at the heart of decisions – Garfinkle keenly observes, “impressions often override performance.” If this weren’t true, you would not need in-person interviews to be hired. Your resume would be sufficient. To get a clearer idea of how others see you, consider asking a trusted colleague to tell you how you are perceived. Ask for positives first and then negatives so your colleague won’t feel uncomfortable about letting you know any unpleasant truths. Then work on improving how you are seen. It might not be fair, but it’s true – perception is reality.

There are so many things we can’t control in our workdays. The more conscious we can be of how we are perceived, the better our results. If this is new to you, it’s going to take some getting used to, but you can do it. Leading is, after all, an ongoing learning process. We can’t afford to be anything less than the best possible leaders we can be. That, too, is a reality.

Posted on by hildaweisburg

Developing Confidence

A baby takes its first steps and falls. The child gets up and tries again. Totally confident that success will happen. When does that innate confidence in one’s ability disappear?

It’s usually not the failures that make us lose self-confidence. It’s the comments and criticisms we have received and the comparisons we make with other people that have nibbled our confidence away. The result is we struggle to leave our comfort zone, often question our decisions and are fearful of making a mistake.

But you are a leader. You need self-confidence to take your program to the next level. Is there a way to get back what you once had instinctively?

In Where Does Confidence Come From?, Frank Sonnenberg offers ten way to strengthen your confidence. As you read through them, acknowledge the ones you can do immediately and lean into those first, then consider which one you want to add next:

  • Successful Track Record – Sonnenberg starts with something simple – every win can boost your confidence – no matter the size. If you have trouble recalling these, consider a Success Journal or Win Folder on your computer so you don’t forget your accomplishments. And take a little time to celebrate and cheer yourself.
  • Courageous Action – Look for ways – big and small – to step out of your comfort zone. It can be intimidating, but you know when something needs to be done, and not doing it doesn’t give you the results you want. Take those first steps (and then add that win to your Success Journal).
  • Prepare and Practice – Athletes don’t just walk out into the field and turn in an outstanding performance. They practice. If you are giving a presentation, write it out, tweak it, tweak it again. If it helps you, learn it almost by heart. For a big project, outline the steps. Create a timeline. Be prepared to adjust that as the project progresses.
  • Self-improvement Efforts – We are lifelong learners. Be committed to your own growth and improvement. Since it’s rare for the Professional Development offered by your district keyed to librarian needs, seek out your own PD. Or you can use your Professional Learning Network, find a mentor, or attend a library conferences.
  • Mindset and Attitude – “If you think you can, or you think you can’t, you are right.” Our brains are powerful. Don’t let yours defeat you. You have been successful before (you have proof!) and will be again. Use your failures as learning opportunities to take into your new endeavor.
  • Supportive Environment – Every school has people who only see the negative. While you must have a collegial relationship with them since the library is for everyone, you don’t need to take in their gloomy view of everything. Be closer to people who can see what is good and enjoy what they do.
  • Encouraging Comments – Savor positive feedback. Knowing that others see your achievements is validation. It helps to power you forward. Be mindful of that and do the same for others. (And when someone gives you positive feedback – that goes in the Win Folder!)
  • Self-reflection – Make time at the end of the day, perhaps on your commute home, to reflect on what you accomplished. Was there a student whose eyes lit up as you helped them find the “just right” book? Did you strike something off your to-do list that you had been putting off? Focusing on these large and small achievements improves self-confidence. (Yup – Success Journal time!)
  • Goal Setting and Achievement – What is something large you wanted to achieve and did? Good news – you can do it again. Write the goal and develop the action steps needed to attain it. And of course, Prepare and Practice.
  • Personal Values and Beliefs – This is what holds you steady. Confidence comes from within as do these values and beliefs. As librarians, we hold to the ALA’s Code of Ethics and the Library Bill of Rights. As school librarians we consider AASL’s Common Beliefs are intrinsic to our program. Build your confidence on your values and you’ll see some amazing results.

Sonnenberg concludes with this quote by Franklin D. Roosevelt, “The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today.” When you build your confidence, you grow into the leader your library program needs. Take those baby steps. Get up when you fall. You can do it.

Posted on by hildaweisburg · 2 Comments

Your Body Is Talking – Do You Know What It’s Saying?

We are communicating constantly. Because our communications go beyond what we say, write, and text, in my book, The Art of Communication: A Librarians Guide for Successful Leadership, Collaboration, and Advocacy (Libraries Unlimited, 2022), I devote a whole chapter to the “Silent Messages You Send.” We can never forget that our bodies speak for us as well.

Our posture, the position of our arms and legs, and the full range of our facial expressions are all conveying a message. Most of the time, the non-verbal message is, hopefully, aligned with what we are saying. Sometimes it isn’t. When we are uncertain, we are prone to sending mixed messages which can push our audience away and inhibit trust.

Those mixed messages are more likely to occur when we are giving a presentation. Whether we are teaching our colleagues about a new tech app or speaking at a state or national conference, we are nervous. We might have some stage fright. The Imposter Syndrome kicks in. And now you are facing your audience. If your body is apt to be telling your audience how uncertain you are, you won’t be able to get your message across as clearly as you want. This is where practicing in front of a mirror or even taking a video can help. Be honest about what you see and soon you’ll be more comfortable.

One of the things that can benefit your ability to connect with whomever you’re speaking to (whether an individual or a group) is supporting gestures that correspond with what you are saying. Is learning this worth the effort? It is according to Frankie Kemp. In his blog article (you’ll need to sign up for SmartBriefs to read it), he describes these seven Unexpected Ways That Gestures Can Up Your Leadership Communication:

  1. Become more trusted – Based on studies, including an analysis of TED speakers, those who used gestures were trusted more, People saw those who didn’t use them as cold and logical. You would think being logical would be good, but audiences want and need to connect to speakers. Additionally, I think they are also reacting to that mixed message. Your body is indicating uncertainty and stiffness. The message becomes: Why should they listen to you?
  2. Dispel nervous energy – Hand gestures that correspond to your message give you something to do to keep them from shaking. Meanwhile your messages are in sync.
  3. Be more succinct – You won’t need as many words when your verbal and nonverbal messages are in accord. This gives you more time to interact with your audience, improving the quality of your presentation.
  4. Increase problem-solving capacity – Suppose someone in your audience asks a difficult question. One of the easiest ways to draw on your expertise when you answer – is to move. According to Kemp, studies show we problem-solve better when we move. While you are doing so, you are also taking in more of your audience and maybe standing more directly in front of the person who asked a question, making them feel seen.
  5. Increase your self-confidence – In another study, it’s been shown that positive posture (head up, shoulders back, spine straight) not only affects the viewer but has an important impact on the speaker. Testosterone goes up and cortisol (stress hormone) goes down; your self-confidence automatically lifts. If this feels new or uncomfortable for you, practice your posture-pose before presenting. You might want to do so before a meeting with your principal, too.
  6. Achieve more credibility and presence – Kemp points to research showing those who use hand gestures and had more frequent eye contact with the audience (as opposed to darting around) and were more trusted. From what I have experienced, it is also because the gestures send the same message as the words.
  7. Be seen as fair – When making eye contact, don’t focus on the same few members of the audience. That can send a message of excluding people. According to Kemp, it can even be seen as a micro-aggression. Allow your eyes to sweep the attendees, resting on different people each time.

As a leader, there will be many occasions when you must speak professionally and when it’s important that your message be received. Whether before an important individual or a group of teachers, parents, or fellow librarians, you need to become comfortable in these situations. Be mindful that you are always communicating and work to send the consistent, clear messages you want.

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Face Your Fears & Reach Your Vision

Over the years, I have read and supported the writing of countless Mission and Vision Statements. Most people write good to great Missions even on the first try. The Vision Statements, however, have been far less successful. They often are variations of the Mission. What’s the problem?

Missions are your Perspiration, your Why. It’s what you do each day. Visions are your Inspiration and Aspiration. What would you like the library to be? How do you want it to be perceived by others? These are frequently harder to write because we aren’t convinced can ever be true. The other thing that stops us – fear.

We worry that if we write a big Vision, we are committing ourselves to achieving it. But here’s the thing – a Vision is not a goal. It’s a potential destination. What we need to do is create a big Vision and then through our fears of the goals that will help us get there.

In his article, Conquering the Fear of Goal-setting, Naphtali Hoff explains why setting such big goals is hard, why it is necessary to do it, and some simple ways to get started.

What Makes It Hard to Do

  • Fear of Failure – It’s risky putting a big goal out there. I recommend hanging your Vision along with your Mission in a prominent place in your library. Everyone will know what you’re striving for and what you want them to be a part of. And you will see it. Every day.
  • Fear of Commitment – Now that you said it, you must do it. It’s a huge task. And you have just signed on to work on making it a reality. Follow through can be very scary.
  • Uncertainty and Overwhelm – Now that you have written it, is this really what you want that reality to look like? Maybe you should rethink it for a while. (HINT: No). After all, your workload is heavy enough just dealing with your Mission and its daily responsibilities. How are you going to fit this in?
  • Self-doubt – You may find yourself thinking this Vison involves so many component, I don’t know nearly enough. Remember – you’re a lifelong learner. What you don’t know… you don’t know yet.
  • Fear of Change – What we know is more comfortable than the new. You know what to expect and how to deal with it. What if the changes don’t work? But remember – if nothing changes, nothing changes.

Why It’s Important to Set Goals

  • Provides Direction – As Yoga Berra allegedly said, “If you don’t know where you are going, you will wind up someplace else.” Once you know your Vision, it gives you a focus for your your strategic plan.
  • Motivates and Inspires – Your Vision is your Inspiration. Remember the Disney quote, “If you can dream it, you can do it.” This is your dream. Goals will help you make it a reality.
  • Measures Progress – Once you are into it, you can see how you are moving forward with each step you achieve. And when you see how far you’ve come – you’re more likely to keep going.
  • Enhances Focus – In our over-busy world, knowing where you are going keeps you on track. A goal gives you something to come back to when day to day things pull you away.
  • Builds Confidence – You began by getting past your fear. Now you are seeing what you can achieve when you are working on a big goal.

Simplifying the Goal-setting Process

  • Start Small – If you look at this huge project, you will convince yourself you can’t do it. You can drive across the entire country as long as you can see a few feet in front of you. Take the next step. Then take the next.
  • Use the SMART Framework – You know this well. Specific, Measurable, Achievable (yes, it is), Relevant, Time-bound. Search for other goal setting techniques if this one doesn’t speak to you.
  • Write It Down – Your Vision should be 50 words or less, written in the present tense, and hung in a prominent place in your library next to your Mission. You goals should be written out, too, creating your ongoing road map.
  • Visualize Success –  Spend time thinking about what it’s going to be like as this Vision comes into being. If it helps you, create a vision board to give you something to focus on.
  • Seek Support – Use your PLN and trusted vendors as needed. Connect with your library advocates and other librarians.
  • Be Flexible – Life happens. Expect delays and the need to tweak things as you go along. There will be bumps. You can keep going.
  • Celebrate Progress – When you set the goal, also set a reward or a way to acknowledge your accomplishment. Having that to look forward to as well as celebrating what you’ve achieved will help you keep going.  

Going for something powerful, like a Vision, will bring up all kinds of fears. They are telling you something – that what you are about to do is significant. Remember, when something is truly Inspirational and Aspirational, you know it will be worth the challenges – and the fears – to see it through.

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Getting Positive Results From Difficult Conversations

Whether it’s with an administrator or a colleague, there are times when you are in opposite corners about how to do something. Ignoring the issue won’t make it go away—and will likely make things worse. When it’s an administrator, you might be seen as being insubordinate, which can cause severe consequences. In the situation with a teacher, your avoidance will hinder future collaboration and having a positive working relationship.

The conversation must happen. The results depend on how you approach and plan it. Go in knowing you won’t get everything you want, but that’s not the objective. Your goal is to make it work, not win an argument. Going in with the intention of winning is a guarantee that you won’t get a result that works.

In her article, Use the “Magic Wand of Destiny” to Get the Desired Outcomes, Kathy Stoddard Torrey puts forth a five-step approach that I believe can be very effective in helping you achieve the best possible results from these difficult conversations.

  • Define the Outcome – What is it you want to achieve and what are different parts of that goal (because remember, you’re not getting everything). Know what you need most. What will make the situation feel best for you? You’ve been told to close the library for several periods to allow for a meeting of the leagues Athletic Directors (ADs), but this restricts usage for others. A teacher wants students to use only books from the library for a project.
  • Create the Proper Space- Since you are initiating the conversion after learning about the challenge, you set the tone for it. An adversarial opening will not get the result you want. In dealing with the principal, you want to open with, “I will definitely give the ADs the space and time they need.” With the teacher, you can start with, “I want to fully understand your planned project.”
  • Ask Curious Questions – Show interest and willingness to help. These are people you want and need to work with. Ask the principal to let you know how many ADs will be coming. How often do they meet? Do they vary their meeting location? Ask the teacher, how many class periods will students be researching in the library? How does this project fit into the larger unit? What resources will they need and for how long?
  • Listen to Their Solutions First – Knowing what the other person expects can help you form your responses. In my examples, you and the library are the solution, so restate them to let them know you recognize what they want. For other situations, when the whole thing wasn’t spelled out in advance, let them explain how they expect to go about it. Continue to ask questions to be sure you have really understood what they want. Sometimes, in those answers, you can find a new solution. Once they have finished, propose your modifications. Ask the principal if you really need to close the whole library. Perhaps you can have a privacy screen around where the ADs meet, and classes can continue as scheduled. Show the teacher one particularly pertinent database and suggest it be offered as well, so students get used to taking notes from print and digital resources.
  • Ask Yourself: Does It Matter? – Choose your difficult conversations wisely. You don’t have to reach your desired outcome all the time. If accepting the recommendation or request doesn’t compromise your ethics, you might strengthen the relationship best by not asking for changes to their original request. When you go along with their plan, it can be a step in building the relationship.

The better you get at managing tough conversations, the stronger you become as a leader – and the more confidence you will gain. In the current education and political climate – in the US and abroad – there are more difficult conversations happening. We all need to work on not letting them become adversarial.

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Build Your Leadership On Your Strengths

So much of how we feel about going to work each day depends on our leaders. A great principal can make your day. A lousy one can kill your year. Many of us have had both and there are lessons to be learned from either. Let me give you two of mine.

My best principal ever knew all the teachers well. He was adept at noticing whether you were not yourself. If he saw that you were having an off day, he would often tell you to go to the nurse’s office and relax. He would teach your class. His leadership had so many benefits. The teachers felt that he not only cared, but he would take care of them. And the teachers were always willing to give back. If there was a shortage of a substitute one day, and he asked a teacher to cover an additional class, they would do so gladly. He also got to know the students on a different level from most principals I worked with, further showing his commitment and consistency.

On the other hand, I had a principal who was an egotistical misogynist. I, and almost everyone else, gave him the bare minimum. I was exhausted at the end of every day and brought my tension and anger home a lot. Too many of my dinner conversations began with, “You know what he did today?” It took me about a year before I appreciated how he was affecting all aspects of my life. Eventually, I began job hunting and found another position.

They both showed me important things about leadership – and how I did and didn’t want to lead. The first principal exuded empathy, an often-cited leadership quality. The second fell into the category of a leader who exemplified Power Over as his approach to leadership. What I hadn’t considered until I read Suzanne Degges-White’s article Are Ambiverts the Most Effective Leaders was a different way to determine your leadership mode.

Degges-White looks at introverts, extroverts, and ambiverts. We are familiar with the first two, but ambiverts, who embody both types, are less well known. And she says regardless of whether you are an introvert or an extrovert, you can become an ambivert. It is also important to recognize that no matter your type, you can be a good leader. “Effective leadership is based on healthy and productive relationships, not just personality types.” My two examples are evidence of that.

Taking a closer look at the strengths of each type of leader, Degges-White observes that introverts are good listeners, which means they think before jumping in to say something. They build relationships slowly and with care. They don’t seek the limelight, instead recognize the strengths others have. Extroverts are comfortable in a variety of settings. They tend to make decisions more quickly and pivot rapidly when needed. They are the ones who are seen as “natural” leaders.

So, what about ambiverts and their strengths? While they might like their alone time, they also enjoy being with others. They are comfortable with both individual projects and working on group ones. As leaders, they aren’t impulsive, but are open to trying new approaches. They are not afraid of taking risks, another often mentioned leadership quality.

The good news is that no matter if you see yourself as more of an introvert or an extrovert, you can become more of an ambivert. It only takes a few small steps to make you an ambivert. Fearful of risks? Take a few small ones. Do you dominate conversations? Make it a point to let others speak before you do. As you practice these steps, you will take on more and more qualities of ambivert.

As a leader, you always want to work from your strengths, but you can also get better. By stretching your natural personality type, you can become an ambivert – the most effective type of leader.

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Avoiding Conflict – Makes It Worse

As School Librarians one part of our job is to have positive relations with all our colleagues, but this doesn’t mean you’re going to like everyone. There will always be people who rub you the wrong way or who you wish you could avoid. People with whom it’s hard to speak, who have opposing viewpoints and with whom there is always a sense of conflict. But avoiding them and the situation prevents any likelihood of having positive relations.

So how can we powerfully step into situations where we know there is going to be conflict? In her post, Uncovering 5 Hidden Stages of Conflict, Marlen Chisolm explores how to look at what is going on under the service because, she asserts, the conflict is not the problem. The avoidance is. To understand this better, Chisholm discusses all the ways avoidance comes into play:

  1. Inner Disturbance – You just feel “off” every time you are in contact with that person. You get the feeling they don’t like you. It may not be overt, but you can’t avoid that antipathy coming from them. It’s uncomfortable, so you avoid unnecessary conversations with them or being in proximity to them. 
  2. Justifying – It doesn’t seem reasonable to confront them about that sensation. What could you say, anyway? Do you suspect it’s some innate bias, and then wonder if you are being ultrasensitive. Yet letting it go on doesn’t change anything. People treat you as you train them to treat you. What you accept will continue. By excusing or letting it go, you avoid facing and discussing the situation.
  3. Seeing Them as Adversary – When you let the situation continue, you tense every time you interact with them. Chisolm says we frequently find ourselves viewing  them as the enemy. While that is a natural self-defense, it doesn’t deal with the problem or cause any changes. Again, you are avoiding and the conflict continues.
  4. Seeking Social Proof – The longer it goes on, the more you look for evidence as to whether you are the only target, or to see if the person is that way with others. Now you seek corroboration. You ask others if they are seeing/feeling the same thing you are. In addition to not solving the problem, you are creating divisions which can affect how your community functions.Word will get back to the person, or worse to administrators, as to your queries. Nothing about will make you look professional. Through your avoidance, the problem has gotten worse.
  5. Aggression – As you continue avoiding the issue, you become increasingly frustrated and angry. Now you run the risk of a real blow up. Whatever follows will be heated. You have become the initiator and have probably damaged your reputation. Hopefully, your explosion didn’t happen where others could see, although word will spread. Being able to work with this teacher will be incredibly difficult, if not impossible. By avoidance, you have now also harmed students who won’t get the learning experiences you normally create.

Avoidance may seem safe, but as Chisolm has shown, it’s the worst option possible. As soon as you get that “Inner Disturbance,” accept that it’s a wake-up call to act. Take time –not too long—to gather your thoughts. What is the outcome you want? Ask yourself, “Do you want it to work, or do you want to win? Because if you want to win, it won’t work.”

Be prepared to do active listening. Don’t try to rush in with counter-arguments. Arguments are power struggles. The Power you need to draw on is Power With which is finding common ground among different interests. What do you and that teacher have in common? Focus on that.

Don’t let micro aggressions or other perceived negative feelings coming from someone affect your ability to be a good leader. Leaders work well with others and are willing to take risks when needed. 

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How To Tap Down Triggers

EDITOR’S NOTE – This blog about a specific and contained type of triggers. More serious, lasting triggers need a different kind of attention and help. Please get the support you need and deserve.

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What is a trigger? A month ago, I wrote Look for Glimmers and Find Joy which discussed how Glimmers were the opposite of triggers. Both cause an unanticipated emotional reaction. The first is wonderfully positive. The second can cause us any number of negative effects including damaging our relationships and how people perceive us and our program.

Glimmers and triggers are opposite in one other way. You have to notice glimmers to appreciate them. Triggers slam into you without any invitation.

While triggers take you unaware, if you are going to deal with them, you need to recognize when you are having a trigger response. This isn’t easy when your emotions are taking over.

Andrea Mein DeWitt’s article, A Leader’s 3-Step Strategy to Being Less Emotional, Reactive, recommend you Name, Claim, and Reframe. This approach will give you skills to modify what could be a damaging response from you. Notice that she references “leaders.” Leaders can’t allow triggers to affect how they react in a given situation.

Here are her steps:

  1. Name – Look for the source of the trigger. (This is not like noticing glimmers, but in reverse.) She asks you to identify what is causing you to react rather than respond – an important distinction – and what specific emotion is in play. Also note what, if any, of your core values have been attacked. For example, book banning and malicious name-calling is on the rise leaving us emotionally exhausted. We are tired of explaining. When one more attack comes, particularly if it comes from what we thought was a friendly source, we can explode.
  2. Claim – Now that you know where your reaction came from, what can you do about it? De Witt wants you to identify the action(s) you can take to bring you back to your core values. Take your ego out and think what might have caused the person to say/do what then triggered your reaction. Then, look to what can you do to get the conversation back to the issue at stake. Rather than responding by saying “we are not…(insert charge)..” turn to the positive, reminding parents, teachers and administrators that,“libraries need to be a safe, welcoming space for all.” From there, you can better discuss what to do.
  3. Reframe – This helps you to move on positively from a stressful conversation. DeWitt says to ask yourself what you learned and what is now an opportunity to use your creativity. Which of the ideas you came up with will produce the best results and promote your Mission and Vision? Notice any new resources you can now use. As you reflect on what happened, you might decide to do a bulletin board or infographic identifying how libraries create a safe space. Perhaps mention the Mirrors, Windows, and Sliding Doors concept. Do something interactive such as having teachers/students anonymously post notes on the bulletin board saying how the library/librarian made them safe and welcome.

We are in the relationship business. With emotions running high and politics affecting libraries and librarians, we must do all we can to avoid being further sucked into the intensity of the triggers and stresses around us. Emotional Intelligence includes Managing Your Emotions for a reason. Leaders – and you are a leader – need to have all the tools possible to do it.

Posted on by hildaweisburg

The Return of Imposter Syndrome

I posted a meme recently which asked, “Do You Talk to Yourself? I know I do, and I know I’m not alone. But the more important question is, “What are you saying to yourself?” Because most of the time, we’re not very kind.

For some reason, we say things to ourselves we would never say to a friend or anyone we like. Our self-talk is overloaded with negative comments, putdowns, and impossible comparisons. Most of the time, it’s about small little things we did or didn’t do. Other times, the negative self-talk becomes much harsher. Especially when we’ve taken a big step. We accept a new position or we are going to give a presentation. Now what we hear is: “You are in over your head,” “What makes you think you are such an expert?” “Others are so much better at this than I am.” “I am a fraud.”

Welcome to Imposter Syndrome. I have written about it before (once in September 2021 and again in December 2021) but it felt like time to revisit it. It’s something both new and experienced librarians face. And if you listen to that voice, it can stop you from taking on new opportunities and keep you from growing as a leader.

To combat this insidious (and erroneous) voice, Marlene Chism wrote How to Push Past the Imposter Syndrome and offers three ways to get over that bleak self-view:

  • Shift Your Focus – When Imposter Syndrome arrives, you are focusing on yourself. Positive self-talk is not always strong enough to defeat it. What can help more is to focus on your values, on what you care about. Which of your values will you be expanding in that new position? Talk to someone who is passionate about something you care about and get their views. Chism says you don’t feel like an imposter when “you are giving value or being curious about others.” Shift to see what you are offering.
  • Rewrite Your Narrative – Some believe that Imposter Syndrome should be welcomed as the price you pay for growing. According to Chism, accepting that narrative is not good for your mental health. She recommends you see it as your opportunity to learn. Yes, you’ve grown to a new level – but you’ve earned that growth. You’ve done the work, and you deserve to be proud of this next step.
  • Stop Competing and Comparing – Sometimes you are “faking it till you are making it” because you’re in a new place, and yes, maybe you are a bit of an imposter because you’re starting out. But remember, this is part of your process for growing. We all have our strengths – and weaknesses. The person who you think is better than you in this new field might not be able to to do what you can in another area. Recognize and accept both your strengths and weaknesses. Think like an athlete and focus on your performance. How can you build your strengths? Are there weaknesses you need to address? Who can help you do this?

Imposter Syndrome will make its reappearance many times in your life. It can be paralyzing if you don’t take the time to dismantle it. Noticing when it has arrived can let you recognize where you are growing. Don’t let it stop you. Failing isn’t fatal. It’s another step in the process. And something to think about: Imposters don’t get Imposter Syndrome.