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Gratitude is a Leadership Skill

This is the season for gratitude, making it the perfect time to incorporate it into your leadership toolbox. We may not have a lot of ways to reward people for a job well done, but expressing gratitude is easy once you get started doing it, and it leads to huge returns.

There are lots of ways to notice what you have to be grateful for and, from that, what you can acknowledge others for. I live this by keeping a gratitude journal. I record three things for which I am grateful every day. Some are small – such as the manager at the place where I go to fax who gave me a discount – and others are large – like my health. After my list of three, I add one way I give back such as contributing to the community food bank. Some of my give-backs are smaller, such as curating and sharing articles of interest to school librarians or offering a meaningful compliment.

It turns out that expressing gratitude is more than a good way to get along with people. It is biologically beneficial, as Scott Hutcheson explains in his article, The Most Overlooked Performance Hack? Gratitude. His post describes the physical benefits as well as why it is so often neglected. Here are the facts that support his claim:

The biology of gratitude – Hutcheson says, “by retraining the brain to focus on what’s working rather than what’s missing. The effects ripple through mood, motivation, and even physiology.” I have long believed and seen that the world is like a mirror. When you smile at it, it smiles back. Apparently, it also triggers the production of the powerful neurochemicals, dopamine and oxytocin, resulting in motivation and trust. Both are vital in our dealings with students, teachers, administrators and any with whom we interact. The result is the recipient enjoys working with you, leading to increased opportunities to build on. Studies show that meaningful gratitude makes people feel fulfilled. Gratitude calms stress and increases our empathy and willingness to work with others. In other words, recipients feel positive which increases their satisfaction with life. I personally find that by taking the time to appreciate all I have going for me, the problems I face feel less heavy, and I can honestly face the world with a smile.

Why gratitude disappears at work – We live in a world that evaluates rather than appreciates. Our feedback comes from observations, and there is little or no appreciation unless we achieve some type of reward. As Hutcheson says, “gratitude functions like exercise. It only works if it’s consistent.” Probably the best principal I ever worked for would send a “kudos” email to the whole staff to acknowledge a teacher for doing something great or getting a grant or award. It felt so good to be noticed and appreciated for one’s work. Additionally, it built staff connection and support. We would invariably compliment the teacher who earned the “kudo” knowing that we too might be similarly acknowledged at work. This appreciation and its benefits outside of evaluations.

With my additions, here are the three types of gratitude Hutcheson:

  1. Relational gratitude: This is direct-to-one thanks. Make it specific. Hutcheson says it builds trust, and as I often state, trust is the foundation of relationships.
  2. Reflective gratitude: Build in time at the end of a cooperative or collaborative project to reflect on what worked and what can be improved. Acknowledge how the other person, usually the teacher, helped you do your job and contributed to success.
  3. Restorative gratitude: There is a place for gratitude when the project didn’t succeed as well as planned. Our colleagues are under as much stress as we are. It matters when we let them know we recognize their challenges. Point to what was learned in the process. If appropriate, suggest where you can do more of the heavy lifting next time, but only if you think that won’t stress you out.

The leadership advantage – Your “goal is to make gratitude habitual rather than performative.”  Try keeping a gratitude journal to exercise that “muscle.” Practicing gratitude does not require extra work, and the benefits it brings to your leadership is immense. People like being and working with a person who is grateful and acknowledges it.

When you practice gratitude, you benefit as well. It gives you a more positive mindset in the midst of the challenges and stresses you face. I’ll end this blog by saying thank you to you, my reader. I appreciate your recognizing my passion to help make school librarians be viewed as an invaluable element in the success of students and teachers.

Posted on by hildaweisburg

I Believe In…

How did you fill in the next word? There are many good answers to that question. But you are likely not to have thought of the one you should. The sentence that will serve you best as a leader is, “I believe in Me.”

In my soon to be published book, I identify nine attributes we need to have and employ in our three communities to thrive in these (and even simpler times). The first of the three communities is ourselves. We live in our heads. What we think shows up in how we interact with others.

The very first of the attributes is Confidence which gives us the self-trust necessary to do everything else. In her Middle Web article (a website all about Middle Grades!), Self Trust: A Leader’s  Most Valuable Tool, Jen Schwanke, Ed.D. concurs with my thinking and explains why this is so important. In her book Trusted she writes about how leaders need to be trustworthy and trust willing. “But the final chapter in the book deals with one relationship many leaders often neglect: the trust we have with ourselves…. Cultivating self-trust isn’t just a nice idea — it’s essential for our well-being.” She offers four ways to build it. Here they are with my usual tweaks:

  1. Lead with a mix of confidence and humility – Take an honest look at your knowledge of what your job entails. You know how to do it. Draw on that knowledge to build your confidence. Your students and colleagues recognize your ability and count on it. At the same time, self-confidence doesn’t mean you know it all. You can learn almost as much from your students and their projects as they do. Teachers will give you insight into their subject areas. Your principals, good and bad, can teach you much about leadership. When you recognize this, people are more comfortable working with you.
  2. Manage our emotions and don’t rush to react – Responding fast to a new issue doesn’t mean it’s the best approach or plan. The fires we are rushing to put out are not physical fires. We don’t need to save lives. Think first. Check with your PLN or mentors for more ideas. And as Schwanke points out, each time we successfully manage a crisis, we build our confidence and self-trust.
  3. Consider all perspectives when making decisions – Our world isn’t neat and tidy. Changing one thing will affect something or someone else. Schwanke cautions us to recognize, “we may not know the full story.” She further adds that remembering this “prevents impulsive judgment and allows us to gather more information. It builds trust with others because it sends the message that we won’t be impulsive, that we won’t always take one particular side, and that we care about all perspectives.” Notice your biases and be willing to learn.
  4. Give credit away – I deeply believe in this. When you give credit away, you get it back many times over. Remember, the job of a leader is to build more leaders. A teacher who now feels confident and comfortable with you will seek you out in the future and recommend you to other teachers. A principal who recognizes how you have strengthened their reputation with their bosses is more likely to listen to your requests for funding. As students see their own successes, they feel more confident in tackling more challenging explorations.

Confidence and self-trust are at the root of your ability to grow and thrive. You have what it takes. Believe in yourself and watch as others do, too!

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SOAR When Speaking to Your Principal

You need to have a relationship with your principal in order for your library to thrive. So how is that relationship going? Do you have a strong, positive one where your principal supports everything you do? Or do you have one who claims to believe in libraries but is not fully aware of how they have changed. Maybe your principal feel you are not very valuable and a drag on the school budget. If you and your principal share common values about what the school library is and needs to be, you don’t have a problem. But if your relationship falls into the second or third category, how do you change it to be more like the first one?

In their article Dealing With a Difficult Boss for Psychology Today, Wes Adams and Tamara Myles write about the importance of “managing up,” ways to deal with managers who are challenging and/or unproductive. Many of us have experienced difficulties in getting through to principals who hold to preconceived ideas and attitudes about libraries. Adams and Myles recommend a SOAR approach to open communication. This may help to build that important relationship. Here’s their explanation of putting SOAR to work along with my usual tweaks to align it more in our education world:

S-Shared Goals – Start by drawing on what you have in common. Students are at the core of what you both care about and support. But there are other common areas you might address, such as keeping parents included in their child’s education or supporting the mandates of the Superintendent of Schools who is concerned about test results.

O-Opportunities – Point to what can be used to reach those common goals. You both want the school budget to pass. Look for ways to show the value the library brings. Your library can be a perfect location to welcome the business community. They can be invited to share the skills of their trade with students in a related class, such as a business class or a course on future careers. They might also be willing to sponsor an author visit which in turn would bring the local newspaper to cover it, giving the business publicity and the school some vital community visibilily.

A-Alignment – Turn these opportunities into a true conversation by drawing you principal into the discussion. What do they like about what you have presented? What questions do they have? Do they have recommendations for improvement or modifications? Don’t become argumentative with any of their proposals. This is a time to see how to incorporate their suggestions, deepening your professional relationship.

R-Results – Share your goal for the outcome of whatever you have proposed. Let the principal know you will be keeping them posted on how things are going. Make sure they know both the progress and final results. You can do it in meetings or via email. Be open to their responses. If you don’t hear from them after emailing them, schedule a brief meeting.

Adams and Myles further recommend that “when the project is complete, remember to tie the results back to those same priorities and goals to build credibility and gain influence. Doing so consistently reminds your [principal]that you are delivering, which earns trust.” And as I keep saying, trust is the foundation of relationships.

Your relationship with your principal is vital to your long-term success, maybe even your job security. The more your principal sees you as making them look good, the faster and more willing they will approve your next proposal. You will be seen as a valuable leader and the library will thrive.

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Your Inner Voice Is Speaking Out Loud

Do you talk to yourself? Probably. Most people do whether we realize it or not. While these silent talks are about a lot of things, much of our inner conversations are about ourselves. So, here’s the important question: Do you speak kindly or harshly?

The truth is we are far more insulting of ourselves than we ever would be with anyone else. This would be bad enough if our internal diatribe remained silent, but we are unknowingly broadcasting these thoughts in our interactions with others. And the messages we are sending out keep us from reaching our full potential as leaders.

Suzy Burke, Ryan Berman, and Rhett Power deal with this common syndrome in their article, 5 Proven Self-Talk Strategies to Strengthen Leadership. In their opening, the authors state: “Leading others starts with self-leadership.” It always starts with you. You are the face of the library. Others take in the messages you send and, from there, they decide if you are sure of your goals and know how to get there. Yu are telling them, intentionally or not, whether they should trust you.  And trust is the foundation of relationship, which in turn leads to the cooperation/collaboration and advocacy you need.

Here are their five strategies along with my tweaks which makes their business focus more appropriate for us:

  1. Self-talk is the hidden saboteur of leadership. In the authors terms, we are involved in worry-wars on many levels and almost constantly. The current Worry War is, for most of us, the societal/political one which has turned the librarians and libraries into prime targets. Additional wars involve budget and staff cuts along with personal ones including financial stresses, family relationships, responsibilities, and whatever else is going on in your life. When any one of these areas show up, your self-critic starts talking and the negative talk adds to the worry.
  2. Every leader has a monster. Many of us, me included, see how talented, skilled, and resourceful other librarians are. We compare and see ourselves as falling short of them. But that comparison is a monster lying in wait. The authors say, “That voice doesn’t just shape your day, it shapes everything.” It shows up in how you hear, what you believe of yourself and how you respond. You do not want to leave this “monster” in charge of your work.
  3. Your mindset isn’t fixed. As lifelong learners, we understand this. Many of us have successfully changed a negative mindset into a positive one. The authors acknowledge that since you will never keep the negative mindset away forever, they offer a three step approach to make the need shift: Catch – Identify when a monster is taking over. Your anxiety is one way to recognize its presence; Confront – Challenge you mindset with facts. For me, it’s when the word “never” is in my thoughts:, Change – Now reframe the thought with a more positive, truthful one.
  4. There is more than one type of monster. – Just what you needed to hear.  According to the authors we must deal with these five monsters:
    • Catastrophizer -This is going to be a disaster.
    • Always Righter – This needs to be perfect, and I’m never going to get it right.
    • Mind Reader –  I know how you are going to react to this situation.
    • Over-generalizer  – This didn’t work, and it’s all downhill from there.
    • Should-er – I should have known better. And now of course, it’s too late.

      The more practice we have spotting each of these monsters within ourselves, the better we get at not letting them be the ones to lead.
  5. Self-talk can be your leadership plutonium. – When you know how to reverse (or lower the decibel level) of negative self-talk, you power up your leadership. While we are talking to ourselves, our bodies are sending out the message of our thoughts. Our face, arms, and tone of voice combine to tell the world what we are thinking—and what monster is in charge. This is why that earlier quote, “Leading others starts with self-leadership” is so important to remember.

Leaders keep growing and learning new skills. Have you seen yourself here? If so, this can be an important lesson for you to incorporate into your leadership. Your interactions students, teachers, administrators, and others you interact with will be more productive as a result. And you might just find yourself feeling better overall!

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A Purpose Driven Life

If you are like most people, you constantly feel as though you are being pulled in multiple directions at once. You are probably tired and overwhelmed if not always at least frequently. It’s not healthy, and it harms you and the people you care about who count on you. It can also shorten your life. So what can we do about it?

The question posed in the Harvard Health Publishing post, Will a purpose-driven life help you live longer? has a clear answer – yes. You may not know your life purpose, but you do have one for your work as a librarian. It’s your Mission. Your ‘Why’. My purpose, as an educator and a librarian is: “I reflect back to others their greatness, and, when appropriate, help them manifest it in their lives.” And I live this in my weekly blog where I talk about how you are vital to the students, teachers, and administrators, when I teach at the graduate level, and when I present at conferences around the country.

In his blog post, The #1 reason people fail at their life plan, Denzell Leggett explains why a life purpose is important, why people don’t have one, and offers his suggestion on getting one. Following are the three non-planning patterns he identifies and the answer he proposes along with my comments to make this more meaningful for you:

  • The Flywheel Hamster equals Fake Plan, Fake Hope – The hamster image conveys how many people see their lives. You keep moving but get nowhere. You are basing your plan on what you think you should do. When you realize you aren’t getting results, you change the plan but still are drawing on the expectations of others. So you are not really planning you are reacting.
  • The Floating Dandelion equals No Plan, Misguided Hope – Again the image reveals how you are moving through your life – a dandelion seed floating on the wind. Leggett says people who plan like this are relying on “luck, peer influence, media trends or family tradition to guide them. They chase whatever sounds good or seems easier in the moment.” The wind changes, they go in a different direction. It’s not plan and, once again, it’s all about reacting.
  • The Head-in-the-Sand Ostrich equals No Hope, So No Plan – Why bother if it’s not going to work. We see everything as out of our control so we move forward without a focus. When things are hard, sometimes it seems best to not be noticed even though we have learned that’s not a solution. No matter what is out of control, we can choose how we respond. That response might be the beginning of a plan.

So, if this doesn’t work, what can you do?

  • Transformation is the way out – Leggett says, “The key to destiny control lies in transforming one’s mindset, beliefs and actions to develop assured belief…[and] you must see yourself as the leader of your life. Your destiny depends on it.” He gives no advice on transforming your mindset, but a first step can be to take time to focus on what brings you joy. At work, at home, anywhere. What are you passionate about? List these things, add to it whenever you can. Your true life purpose will emerge. Once it does, as with your library Mission Statement, write it down, save it on your computer, print it out where you can see it and memorize it.

You are a leader in your life as Leggett says. You are also a leader in your school and library. Take time to get clear and discover your purpose. It will help you have the clarity to make a plan that supports that leadership, that supports your dreams, and enriches your life.

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More Leadership Tips

Being a leader, as cliché as it might sound, is a journey, not a destination. Even though you already are a leader, there is always more to learn. As librarians, being lifelong learners comes naturally to us. However, we must always be on the lookout for new places and spaces to learn from.

In this blog, I frequently bring in leadership lessons from the business world. A few weeks ago, I even posted a reference to how Taylor Swift can be a leadership role model for us. Today, I’m returning to Smart Briefs and the article, “Adaptive leadership: How women can lead through uncertainty” from Maria Doughty who shares about leading when “life gets ambiguous.” Although the title says it’s targeted to women, men will find these suggestions equally helpful. You may be doing several of these, but there is always something new you can use.

Here are her eight tips along with my comments on how these relate to school librarianship.

  1. Define goals and stay focused – Just as it is in the business world, our priority is our Mission and Vision. By now you hopefully have both, but when whenever you are feeling uncertain, it’s a good time to review them and see if they need tweaking or expanding.
  2. Be nimble and be ready – Necessity has made us experts at pivoting. What worked yesterday, might not work tomorrow. Stay alert. Read professional journals. In addition to school library ones such as Knowledge Quest (KQ) from the American Association of School Librarians (AASL), your reading should include EL (Educational Leadership) from the Association of Supervisors and Curriculum Developers (ASCD). Keep current with what might be next in technology through ISTE (International Society of Technology in Education) starting with their numerous blog posts.
  3. Stay calm and lead with empathy – This can be challenging to do given the current political and politicized climate and how it impacts school libraries and librarians. But panic doesn’t lead to rational decisions. Breathe. Ask: Who in the school community is also stressed out? Your principal? Teachers? How can you support them? Then stop to consider who can support you? Parents are one important source, particularly if you prepared for this possibility by establishing communication channels with them. Teachers may be as well. Even older students have also proved they can be strong advocates for the school library and you.
  4. Project strength — and vulnerability – While sounding like opposites, they can work well together. Project strength by leaning into the areas where you feel confident. Draw on your values and how capable you are at teaching students what they need to know for today and tomorrow. Teachers are also feeling the effects of the political climate. Let them know you understand and what you are doing to not let it keep you from bringing your best. Share the resources from our national library professional associations and take the opportunity to learn from theirs.
  5. Stay curious and commit to learning – As I stated at the beginning, a commitment to learning is natural for us. Avoid getting so concerned about what is happening in your school that you don’t see the very big picture. Keep aware of what other industries are doing – schools, colleges, and beyond. Notice where you might be prone to tunnel vision about changes, such as AI. Look for where you can adapt and grow.
  6. Maintain inclusivity and engagement – Everyone is busy, but the more people work together – and with the library – the more interwoven you are with your audience. Consider hosting an after school coffee and chat (with snacks if possible!) for teachers to share ideas across disciplines with each other. Perhaps you can schedule something for parents such as students sharing their recent projects. This has the advantage of allowing students to show their growth as they discuss what was the toughest part of the project, what was the best part, and what did they learn.
  7. Take care of yourself – I can’t stress this often enough. These leadership tips take time and energy. Growing, learning and changing isn’t easy. You need TLC to keep going. Whatever relaxes you and/or gives you pleasure – make time for it!
  8. Find your tribe -As Doughty says, “you don’t need to have all the answers yourself.” This is where your Professional Learning Network (PLN) is a great resource. The hive mind invariably can give you the answer as well as new ideas to try. Ask the scary questions. You never know who else is having this challenge or who may have found a solution.

We are living in challenging times. Yes, that’s another cliché that is all too true. You can let it break you, or you can grow as a result of how you lead yourself and others through. Your growth sets an example for others. The future of our students depends on us rising to the challenge and being the leaders they and the rest of our school community need us to be.

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Embrace Your Ambition

Are you ambitious?  My guess is that some of you would say in many ways you are. However, you might not publicly claim it because of all the negativity surrounding ambition. Certainly, we have all experienced that from others in our professional life, perhaps in your personal life, and on the national stage.

Our instincts are correct in this. There are positive and negative aspects to ambition. And some of the positive aspects can help you grow as a leader. Amina AlTai offers five insights from her new book, The Ambition Trap: How to Stop Chasing and Start Living in her article “How to Break Free From the Ambition Trap.” Here are her five, along with my usual comments:

  1. We need to redefine ambition – At its core, ambition is about growing in some way. The negative association has to do with growing powerful and/or rich and then cruel or callous. The ambition you want to have is about growing in knowledge to better serve your community. Librarians are lifelong learners who can and should embrace their ambition to learn and their desire to share.
  2. There are two types of ambition– AlTai looks closely at the two types which she calls painful and purposeful ambition. The painful ambition, which is more familiar, is focused on winning no matter the cost. We can all identify those who want to show they are better than others. A history of feeling betrayed makes them pursue control. Purposeful ambition is focused on purpose and collaboration. This speaks to our core values as librarians. It looks to what we want to achieve and the best means to get there.
  3. Identity and ambition are deeply intertwined – According to AlTai “Ambition doesn’t exist in a vacuum. It is shaped and constrained by identity.” You know the identity society has given you. At various times, your ambition will be attributed to your identify and treated accordingly. And it will be different depending on the identity. How will you react to this? Do you overperform to gain approval or underperform to stay safe. It will take courage to have positive/purposeful ambition, but so much is at stake. We must be ambitious.
  4. It’s not about renouncing ambition, but allowing ambition to come from innate gifts – As AlTai says, “We need to leverage the best of us. We all have a unique form of brilliance, a rare talent or ability that is specific to us and that we came to this planet to share.” As a librarian you have so many skills: tech, research, people, interdisciplinary and more. We need to know when and where to use these to achieve our goals. We want our students to feel safe in our library and be ready for whatever the future holds.
  5. Ambition is cyclical – Most of us think of positive or negative ambition always continuing to grow. AlTai points to the necessity to pause. I see it as a reminder for self-care. You cannot always be chasing a goal, despite the messages in our hustle culture. We need to remember that constant giving is draining. In order to serve, we need the downtime to recharge.  Too many need us to skip the need to recharge.

Abition is not a “dirty word.” Like it or not, comfortable with the idea or not, leaders are ambitious. We have goals, a Vision and Mission and the determination to live into them. Our drive is powerful and should not be dampened. Students, teachers, and administrators are counting on us to continue to strive for growing and doing better.

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Four Lessons for Leaders

What have you learned as a leader? How have you grown from your first position, where you probably weren’t even thinking about leading, to the librarian you are today? And if you are in your first year, what steps in your leadership journey are you taking and looking forward to?

Because leadership is a journey, not a destination. Successes, setbacks, struggles. And we can learn from them all – especially the parts that didn’t go as planned. As the great pitcher, Christie Mathewson said, “You can little from victory. You can learn everything from defeat.”

As school years begin again, take some time to reflect on your leadership journey. What worked, what didn’t. What turned out even better than expected. What had hidden lessons. Fred Ende, director of curriculum and instructional Services for Putnam/Northern Westchester BOCES in Yorktown Heights, N.Y. did just that.  In is blog article, Lessons Learned After 25 Years as an Educator, these four are the result of his introspection—with my comments as usual.

Trust your intuition – This will likely be a challenge for the first year or two, but the longer you are a school librarian the more you learn. The experiences, good and bad, improve your instincts for understanding what the people you work with need and want; this includes students as well as teachers and administrators. Time helps you refine your ability to read communication clues including body language and tone.

Change won’t happen if it isn’t led – Being a leader means being willing to step out of your comfort zone and bringing new things to your school. You might launch a new program or incorporate and teach new technologies. You’ll step up and explain your idea or plan to your principal, introduce it to teachers and students, and integrate it into your program. Be mindful of teachers’ and administrators’ hesitancy or outright unwillingness and address it as part of the change. People like doing what they know. Change is scary. Show them the benefits and lead them there.

Give people the work they want to do – Ende is referring to what he learned as district administrator. You offer a different environment than the classroom. This gives you different options. With students it means you are mindful of different learning styles. Your give them voice and choice within a lesson. With teachers you manage collaborations so you do the heavy lifting, but they get to bring what they like to do. It might be introducing the lesson or designing its structure in a way that they like, while still incorporating choice and voice for students.

Let it go – When we believe we are right, we can waste time trying to convince someone else they are wrong. It doesn’t work that way. Truthfully, that doesn’t work at all and can even hurt the relationships we’re trying to build. As Ende says, “We can’t control everything, and why would we want to? In fact, we often learn even more from acceptance and then working to make less-than-ideal situations better for all involved. Since we only know our situations, we have to be willing to believe that everyone wants what is best for learners.”

So, take a moment and ask yourself what have you learned as a leader? Even if this was you first year, you have learned more than you might realize.  Make this a start and an end of the year practice. You will give yourself direction and then be surprised at how much you have grown – and be ready for the next school year.

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Listening as a Leadership Skill

When you think of the skills a leader needs, you are apt to identify vision, planning, and decision-making among a host of others. You not likely to mention listening, and yet it is one of the most important skills you need to have and keep developing. In my forthcoming book, The Involved School Librarian, listening is one of the final three “attributes” I say are necessary in order to be a fully involved school librarian. The three being Listener, Learner, and Leader.

 Listeners use a variety of channels as they learn what their communities want and need as well as what is new and forthcoming. What they learn they then apply in leading their library program so it becomes an ever-increasing value to those they serve. When people notice you listen, they are more likely to come to you for support.

In their article What Principals Can Learn From Pope Leo XIV’s Leadership Approach, Michael Nelson and Pete DeWitt present a five-part model for what it takes to be a great leader. Their ideas resonate with us since this article is from the EdWeek.org site, but I have added comments to address what school librarians need.

Listen, Understand, and Act – This gets to the heart of listening as a core leadership skill. If you make assumptions about what your community needs based on what you know, you are apt to overlook what teachers and students really want. According to the authors, research shows that when people feel you are listening to them, it builds relationships. And we always need to be relationship builders. Once you understand what your community really wants and needs you can act to bring your library forward.

Listening Is Strategic, Not Passive – We generally see listening as automatic and something we don’t need to think about, but studies have shown that when we use it actively, it’s more powerful. Be present, be aware. Then, what you have learned from listening gives you the knowledge to construct a strategic plan tied to your Vision and take more directed and connected steps to living your Mission.

Equity Begins With Who We Listen To – This was a new concept for me. Do you ignore criticisms from those you see as negative or with whom you don’t agree? You may be missing some key truths because of your (unintentional) bias. Are you ignoring students who say, “Why do we have to learn this?” or “This is stupid!” Just because you don’t like their complaint doesn’t mean they have a point. Listen to their reasons for saying this and you may learn something important.

From Listening to Collective Action and Joint Work – When you build relationships and trust, people (including students) are more likely to work with you. You can collaborate on curricular units and even build new programs together. And Collaborate is one of the Shared Foundations in AASL’s National School Library Standards.

Leading With Intention – As Nelson and DeWitt say, “Listening is the work. It is what allows leaders to act with intention.” Listening gives you important information that you can use to strengthen all aspects of your library, from collection choices to software needs to an advocacy committee.

Your skills as an active listener are central to your ability to be a great leader. Active listening is a skill you need to work on every day. I know I do. When we’re bursting with excitement about our latest idea, we don’t listen to the people we are speaking with. The better you get at listening the better leader you will be. And then you’ll have people as excited about your ideas as you are.

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Humility as a Superpower

Humility: A modest or low view of one’s importance. Humbleness. Freedom from pride or arrogance.

What was your first thought when seeing the title for this blog? Was it confusion? Understandable because it sounds counterintuitive. I write and present often about leadership and discuss power. So where does humility fit in? In a world where rampant ego is projected as a superpower and proof of leadership, humility seems to lurk in the shadows, frequently associated with religious values.

And yet… there is more to humility in good leaders and leadership than you think. In Humility as a Psychological Task for Leaders, Dr. Paul J Dunion describes humility as a hidden treasure and identifies the five tasks necessary and then lists the benefits. These are the tasks he gives along with my suggestions for how we might incorporate them into our leadership:

  1. Gaining comfort with one’s limits – None of us are perfect. We all have strengths and weaknesses. Know both. When you accept that you have weaknesses, you can ask for help in those areas. I am a big picture person and tend to overlook what seems like obvious details. I usually check with someone who can help me see what I missed.
  2. An increased acceptance of their imperfection – It’s embarrassing when we notice we’ve made a mistake or overlooked something. But this is both normal and acceptable. Dunion says those who have “exaggerated expectations of achievements (get) caught in striving for perfection.” And since that’s unachievable, it becomes exhausting and detrimental to success.
  3. Radical accountability – Admitting mistakes is hard. It can make you feel you aren’t good enough. One form of accountability is accepting and owning the mistakes you make. A second, which Dunion recommends, is to practice gratitude instead for all the help you have received and for the help you will need in the future.
  4. A heartfelt commitment to be rightsized – Too often, we try to project we don’t have weakness because we want to appear confident in dealing with the increasing demands of our jobs. Don’t inflate yourself, your abilities or your accomplishments to keep up with expectations. Neither should you downplay and make what you have done smaller as a way to not be noticed. Either will get you in trouble down the line. Being rightsized is “a measure of (your) competencies, (your) shortcomings, and the true nature of (your) achievements.”
  5. A capacity to appreciate and acknowledge the strengths and accomplishments of others– It doesn’t make you “less” when you acknowledge what someone else has accomplished. If you acknowledge a teacher, you are likely to build or strengthen your relationship and role as a leader. When it’s a librarian who has done something special, that person can possibly help you achieve the same.

And here are his Benefits:

  • Leaders can access a capacity to offer inclusivity, empathy, and inspiration – Which is how we want to be with our students and teachers.
  • Leaders begin to experience a refined sense of security as their limits and mistakes are welcome – Having acknowledged you aren’t always right, makes mistakes unthreatening.
  • Leaders experience a deepened sense of being trustworthy – No matter how you try to hide mistakes, they are recognized by others (and yourself). Being honest about mistakes build trust.
  • Humility allows leaders to be less competitive with colleagues and more able to acknowledge and appreciate their strengths – Honestly knowing your strengths – and weaknesses helps you see more realistically.
  • As humble leaders are honest and define themselves as okay with their shortcomings, their cultures take on more psychological safety – It makes it easier for your colleagues and students to acknowledge their mistakes making everyone feel safer.

You have a big job and many people need you. Don’t try to be perfect. Accept your limits along with your achievements. Work on giving your best and continuing to be the lifelong learners you are as a librarian.