Posted on by hildaweisburg

Failure Is Part of the Path

When we plan a project, set a goal, aim for a target, we think of all the things we need to do and what will think and hope will happen along the way. Something we generally don’t factor in is the times when we will fail.. Although we often tell students that Fail stands for “First Attempt In Learning,” we rarely accept it as true for ourselves. Failure is scary. It makes us look bad. We do everything we can to avoid it. But is also necessary. Without it we don’t learn, and we don’t get better.

Nothing great is ever achieved in one step. The steps along the way will always include some failures. And if you let the fear failure get in the way, you will either back away from what you are doing when it happens or not start at all. As a leader, you need to take risks, and risks bear the possibility of failure. But without risk there is no reward – and no success.

In her article, How That Wretched Slog Makes Way for Your True Potential, Laura Gassner Otting says, “Each time we accomplish something — big or small — we see a version of ourselves that we didn’t yet know existed.” Ironically coupled with this, each success often brings new worry about being good enough, capable enough to do it. Even in our success we are fearing future failure. If this is the case, we need to accept and get through this fear. Gassner offers this way to get past the fear of failure:

  • Let’s Not Fake It Till We Make It – Playing it safe will not bring big changes. Doing only what has been done before, the way it has been done before, won’t get you anywhere. Think of what it must have been like to be the first or one of the first to generify the collection. Give up Dewey? Unheard of. Who would ever think we would suggest dropping fines or even charging for lost books. Out of the box thinking isn’t safe, but it moves us into the future. Embrace the fear that may be part of taking the risk as part of the process – and a sign that you’re moving forward.
  • Re-Categorize Failure from Finale to Fulcrum – Gassner suggests we adopt a beginner’s mindset. We need to see failure as the point from which we learn something that will help us accomplish the next step. Failures should raise new questions and give us the opportunity to see something we didn’t anticipate and pivot. Think, why didn’t this work? What was missing? What, if anything, needs to be changed? How can I do it differently? And never forgot to consider, who can I ask for help?
  • Take a Lesson from the Pros – Professional athletes spend a great deal of time perfecting what they are already doing right. But they also face the fact that they aren’t perfect. They watch videos of their performance and see where they are not doing it well. Then they work on that. It’s harder and uncomfortable, but they do it. Go back to the basics first so you have those to build on, make changes and see if they work. If they don’t take a step back and adjust. Remember – athletes don’t expect perfect, but they are always looking for how they can improve.

Fear is part of the process – but it doesn’t get to stop the process. What fears are keeping you in a safe place? Don’t let fear of failure keep you from stepping out of your comfort zone – and making it bigger. Accept the possibility of failing and embrace that it isn’t saying anything negative about your or your plan. Take a chance. Although you will fail some time, as you pile up your successes your reputation as a leader will grow – and so will you.

Posted on by hildaweisburg · 2 Comments

Your Body Is Talking – Do You Know What It’s Saying?

We are communicating constantly. Because our communications go beyond what we say, write, and text, in my book, The Art of Communication: A Librarians Guide for Successful Leadership, Collaboration, and Advocacy (Libraries Unlimited, 2022), I devote a whole chapter to the “Silent Messages You Send.” We can never forget that our bodies speak for us as well.

Our posture, the position of our arms and legs, and the full range of our facial expressions are all conveying a message. Most of the time, the non-verbal message is, hopefully, aligned with what we are saying. Sometimes it isn’t. When we are uncertain, we are prone to sending mixed messages which can push our audience away and inhibit trust.

Those mixed messages are more likely to occur when we are giving a presentation. Whether we are teaching our colleagues about a new tech app or speaking at a state or national conference, we are nervous. We might have some stage fright. The Imposter Syndrome kicks in. And now you are facing your audience. If your body is apt to be telling your audience how uncertain you are, you won’t be able to get your message across as clearly as you want. This is where practicing in front of a mirror or even taking a video can help. Be honest about what you see and soon you’ll be more comfortable.

One of the things that can benefit your ability to connect with whomever you’re speaking to (whether an individual or a group) is supporting gestures that correspond with what you are saying. Is learning this worth the effort? It is according to Frankie Kemp. In his blog article (you’ll need to sign up for SmartBriefs to read it), he describes these seven Unexpected Ways That Gestures Can Up Your Leadership Communication:

  1. Become more trusted – Based on studies, including an analysis of TED speakers, those who used gestures were trusted more, People saw those who didn’t use them as cold and logical. You would think being logical would be good, but audiences want and need to connect to speakers. Additionally, I think they are also reacting to that mixed message. Your body is indicating uncertainty and stiffness. The message becomes: Why should they listen to you?
  2. Dispel nervous energy – Hand gestures that correspond to your message give you something to do to keep them from shaking. Meanwhile your messages are in sync.
  3. Be more succinct – You won’t need as many words when your verbal and nonverbal messages are in accord. This gives you more time to interact with your audience, improving the quality of your presentation.
  4. Increase problem-solving capacity – Suppose someone in your audience asks a difficult question. One of the easiest ways to draw on your expertise when you answer – is to move. According to Kemp, studies show we problem-solve better when we move. While you are doing so, you are also taking in more of your audience and maybe standing more directly in front of the person who asked a question, making them feel seen.
  5. Increase your self-confidence – In another study, it’s been shown that positive posture (head up, shoulders back, spine straight) not only affects the viewer but has an important impact on the speaker. Testosterone goes up and cortisol (stress hormone) goes down; your self-confidence automatically lifts. If this feels new or uncomfortable for you, practice your posture-pose before presenting. You might want to do so before a meeting with your principal, too.
  6. Achieve more credibility and presence – Kemp points to research showing those who use hand gestures and had more frequent eye contact with the audience (as opposed to darting around) and were more trusted. From what I have experienced, it is also because the gestures send the same message as the words.
  7. Be seen as fair – When making eye contact, don’t focus on the same few members of the audience. That can send a message of excluding people. According to Kemp, it can even be seen as a micro-aggression. Allow your eyes to sweep the attendees, resting on different people each time.

As a leader, there will be many occasions when you must speak professionally and when it’s important that your message be received. Whether before an important individual or a group of teachers, parents, or fellow librarians, you need to become comfortable in these situations. Be mindful that you are always communicating and work to send the consistent, clear messages you want.

Posted on by hildaweisburg

Face Your Fears & Reach Your Vision

Over the years, I have read and supported the writing of countless Mission and Vision Statements. Most people write good to great Missions even on the first try. The Vision Statements, however, have been far less successful. They often are variations of the Mission. What’s the problem?

Missions are your Perspiration, your Why. It’s what you do each day. Visions are your Inspiration and Aspiration. What would you like the library to be? How do you want it to be perceived by others? These are frequently harder to write because we aren’t convinced can ever be true. The other thing that stops us – fear.

We worry that if we write a big Vision, we are committing ourselves to achieving it. But here’s the thing – a Vision is not a goal. It’s a potential destination. What we need to do is create a big Vision and then through our fears of the goals that will help us get there.

In his article, Conquering the Fear of Goal-setting, Naphtali Hoff explains why setting such big goals is hard, why it is necessary to do it, and some simple ways to get started.

What Makes It Hard to Do

  • Fear of Failure – It’s risky putting a big goal out there. I recommend hanging your Vision along with your Mission in a prominent place in your library. Everyone will know what you’re striving for and what you want them to be a part of. And you will see it. Every day.
  • Fear of Commitment – Now that you said it, you must do it. It’s a huge task. And you have just signed on to work on making it a reality. Follow through can be very scary.
  • Uncertainty and Overwhelm – Now that you have written it, is this really what you want that reality to look like? Maybe you should rethink it for a while. (HINT: No). After all, your workload is heavy enough just dealing with your Mission and its daily responsibilities. How are you going to fit this in?
  • Self-doubt – You may find yourself thinking this Vison involves so many component, I don’t know nearly enough. Remember – you’re a lifelong learner. What you don’t know… you don’t know yet.
  • Fear of Change – What we know is more comfortable than the new. You know what to expect and how to deal with it. What if the changes don’t work? But remember – if nothing changes, nothing changes.

Why It’s Important to Set Goals

  • Provides Direction – As Yoga Berra allegedly said, “If you don’t know where you are going, you will wind up someplace else.” Once you know your Vision, it gives you a focus for your your strategic plan.
  • Motivates and Inspires – Your Vision is your Inspiration. Remember the Disney quote, “If you can dream it, you can do it.” This is your dream. Goals will help you make it a reality.
  • Measures Progress – Once you are into it, you can see how you are moving forward with each step you achieve. And when you see how far you’ve come – you’re more likely to keep going.
  • Enhances Focus – In our over-busy world, knowing where you are going keeps you on track. A goal gives you something to come back to when day to day things pull you away.
  • Builds Confidence – You began by getting past your fear. Now you are seeing what you can achieve when you are working on a big goal.

Simplifying the Goal-setting Process

  • Start Small – If you look at this huge project, you will convince yourself you can’t do it. You can drive across the entire country as long as you can see a few feet in front of you. Take the next step. Then take the next.
  • Use the SMART Framework – You know this well. Specific, Measurable, Achievable (yes, it is), Relevant, Time-bound. Search for other goal setting techniques if this one doesn’t speak to you.
  • Write It Down – Your Vision should be 50 words or less, written in the present tense, and hung in a prominent place in your library next to your Mission. You goals should be written out, too, creating your ongoing road map.
  • Visualize Success –  Spend time thinking about what it’s going to be like as this Vision comes into being. If it helps you, create a vision board to give you something to focus on.
  • Seek Support – Use your PLN and trusted vendors as needed. Connect with your library advocates and other librarians.
  • Be Flexible – Life happens. Expect delays and the need to tweak things as you go along. There will be bumps. You can keep going.
  • Celebrate Progress – When you set the goal, also set a reward or a way to acknowledge your accomplishment. Having that to look forward to as well as celebrating what you’ve achieved will help you keep going.  

Going for something powerful, like a Vision, will bring up all kinds of fears. They are telling you something – that what you are about to do is significant. Remember, when something is truly Inspirational and Aspirational, you know it will be worth the challenges – and the fears – to see it through.

Posted on by hildaweisburg

Is It Time To Quit?

It is more than likely that if you stay in a position for long enough, there will come a time when the job is no longer right for you. Either you’ve reached your goals within the limits of the job or with the current administration, or things around you change and you realize you would be better off searching for a different situation. Quitting has such a negative connotation, yet when you look at it objectively, it can be a highly positive and importantly proactive decision.

Many years ago, I was the librarian in a high school library I helped design. I had been a part of the school system for decades. I was well-respected in the school and an integral part of the teaching/learning process. Then we got a new principal. I used all the techniques I had learned to reach out to him and show the value of the library program. He liked none of it.

Although he caused tension and stress in my life, initially I had no thoughts of quitting. It wasn’t until the Superintendent of Schools, who was an ongoing supporter of my work, announced she was retiring in two years. I could foresee what would happen with my principal without the buffer offered by my Superintendent. Suddenly my future looked very different and quitting became a logical alternative.

Only a month after reaching out to my contacts (your network can be SO important!), I had an excellent job offer. Although the commute was longer and I lost my sick days, I kept my salary and found a far better situation. It was even worth losing tenure. I stayed in my new position for eleven years until I retired. The more I heard what was happening back in my old school, the happier I was with my decision.

With summer break upon us, take the opportunity to ask yourself – Is it time for me to quit? Depending on your years of service, should you retire or find another job?  If your answer is yes (or a strong maybe), use this time to plan your future course of action.

In his article, Quitting Doesn’t Always Make You a Quitter, Frank Sonnenberg discusses when quitting is recommended and ways of deciding if that’s your best option. Here are some of the 10 situations he recommends quitting. He asks, are you:

  • In a toxic relationship – Are you having to work with someone consistently who is detrimental to your work environment? This can have long reaching consequences professionally and personally.
  • Looking to cut your losses – Librarians and other educators stay because they keep hoping things will change, even when they know it won’t happen. Be honest about what’s happening and if it can be changed.
  • Getting stagnant – What if you are unable to make changes and feel you and your program are locked in the past? If nothing changes, nothing changes. Are you happy with how you’re able to grow your program?
  • Afraid of leaving your comfort zone – The devil you know vs. the unknown. Remember, it’s still a devil. Yes, there will be things lost if you move (sick days, tenue, coworkers you like), but there might be something new out there for you that is so much better. Don’t miss it!
  • Compromising your standards – These are difficult times, but it’s hard to face yourself in the mirror when you are afraid to uphold your core values and professional ethics. If you are in a school district that doesn’t align with your beliefs, this is a good reason to look elsewhere.

And here are some of the 15 ways to decide whether you should actually quit (or retire if that’s an option).

  • What, if anything, has changed to evoke these feelings from you? – How has the landscape changed to make you now consider leaving. Are there any you can anticipate?
  • Are you making a spur-of-the-moment decision? – Are you just tired and angry or have you been feeling this way for some time? A bad month or even a tough year my not be enough of a reason to leave – yet.
  • What’s the upside versus the downside? – Look honestly at what you will lose by leaving but look equally honestly at what you stand to gain by leaving. Don’t let fear of the unknown be what gets in your way.
  • Have you sought counsel from an objective person? – Talk it out with a fellow librarian who you trust to keep your conversation confidential. If you can, find someone in your state (or in our Facebook group) who has quit one position and found another.
  • Will you regret this decision five years from now? – Which do you think will honestly feel worse – staying or going? Yes, there are no guarantees either way, but the risk can be very worth the reward.

Sonnenberg closes with this W. C. Fields quote, “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no point in being a damn fool about it.” You are a leader. Sometimes the person you need to lead is yourself.